Don't Marry Career Women

**TJ Cline** · 09-26-2006, 03:28 PM

By Michael Noer

Guys: a word of advice. Marry pretty women or ugly ones. Short ones or tall ones. Blondes or brunettes. Just, whatever you do, don't marry a woman with a career.

Why? Because if many social scientists are to be believed, you run a higher risk of having a rocky marriage. While everyone knows that marriage can be stressful, recent studies have found professional women are more likely to get divorced, more likely to cheat and less likely to have children. And if they do have kids, they are more likely to be unhappy about it. A recent study in Social Forces, a research journal, found that women--even those with a "feminist" outlook--are happier when their husband is the primary breadwinner.

Not a happy conclusion, especially given that many men, particularly successful men, are attracted to women with similar goals and aspirations. And why not? After all, your typical career girl is well educated, ambitious, informed and engaged. All seemingly good things, right? Sure … at least until you get married. Then, to put it bluntly, the more successful she is, the more likely she is to grow dissatisfied with you. Sound familiar?

Many factors contribute to a stable marriage, including the marital status of your spouse's parents (folks with divorced parents are significantly more likely to get divorced themselves), age at first marriage, race, religious beliefs and socio-economic status. And, of course, many working women are indeed happily and fruitfully married--it's just that they are less likely to be so than nonworking women. And that, statistically speaking, is the rub.

To be clear, we're not talking about a high school dropout minding a cash register. For our purposes, a "career girl" has a university-level (or higher) education, works more than 35 hours a week outside the home and makes more than $35,000 a year.

If a host of studies are to be believed, marrying these women is asking for trouble. If they quit their jobs and stay home with the kids, they will be unhappy ( Journal of Marriage and Family, 2003). They will be unhappy if they make more money than you do ( Social Forces, 2006). You will be unhappy if they make more money than you do ( Journal of Marriage and Family, 2001). You will be more likely to fall ill ( American Journal of Sociology). Even your house will be dirtier ( Institute for Social Research).

Why? Well, despite the fact that the link between work, women and divorce rates is complex and controversial, much of the reasoning is based on a lot of economic theory and a bit of common sense. In classic economics, a marriage is, at least in part, an exercise in labor specialization. Traditionally, men have tended to do "market" or paid work outside the home, and women have tended to do "nonmarket" or household work, including raising children. All of the work must get done by somebody, and this pairing, regardless of who is in the home and who is outside the home, accomplishes that goal. Nobel laureate Gary S. Becker argued that when the labor specialization in a marriage decreases--if, for example, both spouses have careers--the overall value of the marriage is lower for both partners because less of the total needed work is getting done, making life harder for both partners and divorce more likely. And, indeed, empirical studies have concluded just that.

In 2004, John H. Johnson examined data from the Survey of Income and Program Participation and concluded that gender has a significant influence on the relationship between work hours and increases in the probability of divorce. Women's work hours consistently increase divorce, whereas increases in men's work hours often have no statistical effect. "I also find that the incidence in divorce is far higher in couples where both spouses are working than in couples where only one spouse is employed," Johnson says. A few other studies, which have focused on employment (as opposed to working hours), have concluded that working outside the home actually increases marital stability, at least when the marriage is a happy one. But even in these studies, wives' employment does correlate positively to divorce rates, when the marriage is of "low marital quality."

The other reason a career can hurt a marriage will be obvious to anyone who has seen his or her mate run off with a co-worker: When your spouse works outside the home, chances increase that he or she will meet someone more likable than you. "The work environment provides a host of potential partners," researcher Adrian J. Blow reported in The Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, "and individuals frequently find themselves spending a great deal of time with these individuals."

There's more: According to a wide-ranging review of the published literature, highly educated people are more likely to have had extramarital sex (those with graduate degrees are 1.75 times more likely to have cheated than those with high school diplomas). Additionally, individuals who earn more than $35,000 a year are more likely to cheat.

And if the cheating leads to divorce, you're really in trouble. Divorce has been positively correlated with higher rates of alcoholism, clinical depression and suicide. Other studies have associated divorce with increased rates of cancer, stroke, and sexually transmitted disease. Plus, divorce is financially devastating. According to one recent study on "Marriage and Divorce's Impact on Wealth," published in The Journal of Sociology, divorced people see their overall net worth drop an average of 77%.

So why not just stay single? Because, academically speaking, a solid marriage has a host of benefits beyond just individual "happiness." There are broader social and health implications as well. According to a 2004 paper titled "What Do Social Scientists Know About the Benefits of Marriage?," marriage is positively associated with "better outcomes for children under most circumstances" and higher earnings for adult men, and "being married and being in a satisfying marriage are positively associated with health and negatively associated with mortality." In other words, a good marriage is associated with a higher income, a longer, healthier life and better-adjusted kids.

A word of caution, though: As with any social scientific study, it's important not to confuse correlation with causation. In other words, just because married folks are healthier than single people, it doesn't mean that marriage is causing the health gains. It could just be that healthier people are more likely to be married.

**DOMS** · 09-26-2006, 03:42 PM

I'm all for pointing out the dynamics of male/female relationships and the court's treatment of men in a divorce, but enough with the "how women are evil" threads. Okay?

**TJ Cline** · 09-26-2006, 03:46 PM

Originally Posted by DOMS

I'm all for pointing out the dynamics of male/female relationships and the court's treatment of men in a divorce, but enough with the "how women are evil" threads. Okay?

No, not ok. Men and women are evil....I don't date men so I don't bash them about how they act in that world.

**DOMS** · 09-26-2006, 03:49 PM

Originally Posted by ForemanRules

No, not ok. Men and women are evil....I don't date men so I don't bash them about how they act in that world.

That makes sense.

Maybe we can get BigDyl to come in and bash the guys in the name of equality.

**maniclion** · 09-26-2006, 04:09 PM

"Mexican Americans don't like to just get into gang fights,
they like flowers and music and white girls named Debbie too."

**maniclion** · 09-26-2006, 04:15 PM

Yes gentlemen, Foremanrules is correct. You should instead marry bimbos with no brains and hands that form perfectly around a mop, broom, pothandle, vacuum cleaner and your penis...if your penis is small then you'll have to go for a midget and buy smaller handled items....

**cappo5150** · 09-26-2006, 05:13 PM

Sh*t my woman better work, there's no such thing as a free ride.

**Prince** · 09-26-2006, 05:48 PM

hmmm...my wife is a "career woman" and the only way I would want her to be a "house wife" is if we had little kids that needed to be raised, otherwise it only makes sense that she work full-time, what the hell else would she do all damn day?

**The Monkey Man** · 09-26-2006, 06:54 PM

I have to

at this thread...

House wives who have nothing to do all day are more likely to cheat
because they are probably spoiled and have had everything handed to
them

Professional women know how to deal with stress and politics and will
usually resolve relationship differences with good communication,
and problem solving skills (that they learn on their jobs)

The bottom line is, if your significant other is a whiney little F#*K,
you are doomed, whether they be man or woman!

**NeilPearson** · 09-26-2006, 07:04 PM

My wife is a career woman too... and she better be. There aren't going to be any kids so if she is going to have to pull her own weight.

If she meets a guy at the office, whatever... at least she makes her own money and has more pride than to ask me for alimony once she's gone.

**Jodi** · 09-26-2006, 07:18 PM

Originally Posted by maniclion

Yes gentlemen, Foremanrules is correct. You should instead marry bimbos with no brains and hands that form perfectly around a mop, broom, pothandle, vacuum cleaner and your penis...if your penis is small then you'll have to go for a midget and buy smaller handled items....

Yeah and when you divorce, don't bitch about why she took you through the cleaners for your cash! That's a big fat

**NeilPearson** · 09-26-2006, 07:29 PM

Originally Posted by Jodi

Yeah and when you divorce, don't bitch about why she took you through the cleaners for your cash! That's a big fat

I agree... if you are going to marry, you are much better off with a girl that wants to be around you but doesn't NEED you.

**TJ Cline** · 09-26-2006, 08:03 PM

Originally Posted by Jodi

Yeah and when you divorce, don't bitch about why she took you through the cleaners for your cash! That's a big fat

Both will try to get all your cash.

**The Monkey Man** · 09-26-2006, 08:14 PM

Originally Posted by ForemanRules

Both will try to get all your cash.

True Story

**maniclion** · 09-27-2006, 03:15 AM

Originally Posted by The Monkey Man

True Story

True Story is that foremans wife paid him money to never call, visit, look at, mail, email, PM her at anytime for the next 75 years.

**TJ Cline** · 09-27-2006, 03:26 AM

Originally Posted by maniclion

True Story is that foremans wife paid him money to never call, visit, look at, mail, email, PM her at anytime for the next 75 years.

I wish

**Jodi** · 09-27-2006, 09:32 AM

Originally Posted by ForemanRules

Both will try to get all your cash.

Bullshit! A women that has her own career is less likely to go after your money.

I actually had to pay out of my pocket to cover some of his expenses during the divorce and we even did ours without a fucking lawyer. I just wanted out.

**I Are Baboon** · 09-27-2006, 09:37 AM

Career woman = 4,322 times better than a stay-at-home housewife.

**MCx2** · 09-27-2006, 09:45 AM

There is a distinct difference IMO between a wife that works and a "career minded" woman. A wife that works collects a paycheck to help pay the bills, a career minded woman is trying to climb the corporate ladder, has her nose burried in paperwork, and travels the country in search of being the CEO of a successful company one day. The latter is the one I steer clear of because no matter what she says, you will always be second fiddle to her career goals.

**I Are Baboon** · 09-27-2006, 09:50 AM

Originally Posted by FatCatMC

a career minded woman is trying to climb the corporate ladder, has her nose burried in paperwork, and travels the country in search of being the CEO of a successful company one day.

No, that is what's called a "Sugar Momma."

**Jodi** · 09-27-2006, 10:07 AM

Originally Posted by FatCatMC

There is a distinct difference IMO between a wife that works and a "career minded" woman. A wife that works collects a paycheck to help pay the bills, a career minded woman is trying to climb the corporate ladder, has her nose burried in paperwork, and travels the country in search of being the CEO of a successful company one day. The latter is the one I steer clear of because no matter what she says, you will always be second fiddle to her career goals.

Of course I disagree whole heartedly. Many career minded women don't want children because they choose their career. If both partners are in search of goals then they work together to achieve these goals on a business level and financial level. One doesn't come before the other. It's a team effort. Also, most women choose not to be with someone that doesn't have similar goals. I'm not even talking both parties being CEO's but being happy with your career and development. Those are the career minded folks. Amount of money one makes doesn't define a successful career. Look at a professor or a teacher for instance. They are career minded but they don't make the big bucks.

**MCx2** · 09-27-2006, 10:10 AM

Originally Posted by Jodi

Of course I disagree whole heartedly. Many career minded women don't want children because they choose their career. If both partners are in search of goals then they work together to achieve these goals on a business level and financial level. One doesn't come before the other. It's a team effort. Also, most women choose not to be with someone that doesn't have similar goals. I'm not even talking both parties being CEO's but being happy with your career and development. Those are the career minded folks. Amount of money one makes doesn't define a successful career. Look at a professor or a teacher for instance. They are career minded but they don't make the big bucks.

So basically what you are saying is that a woman that flips burgers at McDonalds is "Career Minded"?

There is without a doubt a difference between the 2.

**MCx2** · 09-27-2006, 10:21 AM

Originally Posted by Jodi

Of course I disagree whole heartedly. Many career minded women don't want children because they choose their career. If both partners are in search of goals then they work together to achieve these goals on a business level and financial level. One doesn't come before the other. It's a team effort. Also, most women choose not to be with someone that doesn't have similar goals. I'm not even talking both parties being CEO's but being happy with your career and development. Those are the career minded folks. Amount of money one makes doesn't define a successful career. Look at a professor or a teacher for instance. They are career minded but they don't make the big bucks.

Not to mention you picked the exception to the rule: Teaching. Unfortunately most teachers I know work ALOT less than I do and have a little something called "the summer" where they don't work at all. Not a very demanding "career" if ya ask me.

**Jodi** · 09-27-2006, 10:45 AM

Originally Posted by FatCatMC

So basically what you are saying is that a woman that flips burgers at McDonalds is "Career Minded"?

There is without a doubt a difference between the 2.

You are so not getting it.

ANYONE that loves what they do, has a PROFESSION, is career minded. She may be the franchise owner flipping those burgers so yeah, then she would be career minded.

**Jodi** · 09-27-2006, 10:46 AM

Originally Posted by FatCatMC

Not to mention you picked the exception to the rule: Teaching. Unfortunately most teachers I know work ALOT less than I do and have a little something called "the summer" where they don't work at all. Not a very demanding "career" if ya ask me.

Yeah so what? And I have combined 6 weeks vacation. Since when did demanding career mean career minded?

**DOMS** · 09-27-2006, 10:57 AM

Originally Posted by FatCatMC

Not to mention you picked the exception to the rule: Teaching. Unfortunately most teachers I know work ALOT less than I do and have a little something called "the summer" where they don't work at all. Not a very demanding "career" if ya ask me.

Ah...one of my many buttons: teachers and their cry of being underpaid.

Maybe if they worked more than 8 or 9 months a year, they'd make a decent (by their estimation) wage.

I swear, if the day might be holiday somewhere in the world, they take it off.

"But, my job is hard! I work with children!!!" So the fuck what? Soldiers and cops get shot at. Some sanitation workers work with shit. Day laborers do back breaking labor up to 12 hours a day. Workers at McDonals do mindnumbing work with few benefits. A hard job isn't a free pass to take off a third of the year.

Asshats.

**MCx2** · 09-27-2006, 11:01 AM

Originally Posted by Jodi

You are so not getting it.

ANYONE that loves what they do, has a PROFESSION, is career minded. She may be the franchise owner flipping those burgers so yeah, then she would be career minded.

I fail to find an exact definition of career minded in Websters Dictionary....

We have 2 interpetations...

I understand what you are saying, but IMO you can't be career minded and relationship minded equally. That is like saying I'm bulking and cutting at the same time. Or my favorite team is the Eagles but I'm rooting for the Giants to beat them. In the instance that both people are in the same field, then and only then can the 2 co-exist.

**Jodi** · 09-27-2006, 11:16 AM

So what you are saying is that because the guy has a career then the womend comes second too? So the women, has no life, stays at home all day and has to be second best the career?

If this is what you are saying then you are being a hypocrite here! What's good for the goose is good for the gander, no?

Personally I feel both individuals can have a career and a home life that are equally important for each other and with each other.

**MCx2** · 09-27-2006, 11:27 AM

Originally Posted by Jodi

So what you are saying is that because the guy has a career then the womend comes second too? So the women, has no life, stays at home all day and has to be second best the career?

If this is what you are saying then you are being a hypocrite here! What's good for the goose is good for the gander, no?

Personally I feel both individuals can have a career and a home life that are equally important for each other and with each other.

Not at all, I'm simply saying I wouldn't look twice at a career minded (my definition) woman.

I never said that a husband and wife can't have successful careers. I have a successful career but in no way am I "career minded" (again my definition). Obviously making money is a necessity, but having fun and personal well being comes ahead of my job, in turn I would classify myself as a person that is not "career minded." And those are the qualities I look for in a partner.

**NeilPearson** · 09-27-2006, 11:34 AM

Originally Posted by FatCatMC

Not at all, I'm simply saying I wouldn't look twice at a career minded (my definition) woman.

I never said that a husband and wife can't have successful careers. I have a successful career but in no way am I "career minded" (again my definition). Obviously making money is a necessity, but having fun and personal well being comes ahead of my job, in turn I would classify myself as a person that is not "career minded." And those are the qualities I look for in a partner.

Just because you aren't flying around the country and looking for the next CEO position doesn't mean you aren't career minded.

Career minded doesn't not mean extreme work-a-holic. But I would agree, getting involved with an extreme work-a-holic probably isn't fun for a man or a woman.

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