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sick jokes thread

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  1. #1
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    sick jokes thread

    we all know them so lets hear them

    SOME GUY PHONED IN LAST WEEK AND SAID

    IM NOT COMING TO WORK TODAY IM SICK!

    I SAID HOW SICK?

    AND HE SAID

    " IM IN BED WITH MY SISTER"
    __________________________________________________ ______________

    Simon Weston has unveiled his new website, exclusively for his buddies in the Falklands...

    www.friendsreignited.com

    __________________________________________________ ______________

    What do you call a female police officer who shaves her pubes?...........


    C U N T - stubble!!!

    __________________________________________________ ______________

    whats blue and sits at the bottom of a swimming pool?

    and child with burst armbands









    whats yellow and sits at the bottom of a swimming pool?

    the same child 2 weeks later

    __________________________________________________ ______________

    most of them are garbage but i had to make a start

    anymore ?
    When you play for Celtic forget the Jersey forget the club, your playing for a people and a cause.

  2. #2
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  3. #3
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    What's the difference between a truckload of marbles and a truckload of dead babies?


    You can't unload the truckload of marbles with a pitchfork.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Triple Threat View Post
    What's the difference between a truckload of marbles and a truckload of dead babies?


    You can't unload the truckload of marbles with a pitchfork.

    ok lets just close this thread now that is the sickest thing ive ever heard in my life
    When you play for Celtic forget the Jersey forget the club, your playing for a people and a cause.

  5. #5
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    a reporter was asking paul mccartney some questions when she asked

    "paul will u ever go down on one knee again ?"

    he replied

    "i'd rather u called her Heather"
    When you play for Celtic forget the Jersey forget the club, your playing for a people and a cause.

  6. #6
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    "Whats worse than 8 dead babies nailed to a tree?"

    "One baby nailed to 8 trees!"

    ***

    "Whats the best thing about fucking a 7 year old girl in the shower?"

    "You can slick her hair back and pretend shes a 7 year old boy!"

    ***

    And the certified sickest joke in the world:

    ***

    "How do you know when your sister is on her period?"

    "You can taste it on your dad's cock!"
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  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gazhole View Post
    "Whats worse than 8 dead babies nailed to a tree?"

    "One baby nailed to 8 trees!"

    ***

    "Whats the best thing about fucking a 7 year old girl in the shower?"

    "You can slick her hair back and pretend shes a 7 year old boy!"

    ***

    And the certified sickest joke in the world:

    ***

    "How do you know when your sister is on her period?"

    "You can taste it on your dad's cock!"
    sick fuck i mean it sick fuck lol but funny though
    When you play for Celtic forget the Jersey forget the club, your playing for a people and a cause.

  8. #8
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    Not quite sick enough (and a bit old), but...

    Why does Michael Jackson like to shop at Target? Because all boy's pants are half off.

    Did you know that Michael Jackson and Elton John are making a song together? It's called Don't Let Your Son Go Down On Me.


  9. #9
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    how many babies does it take to paint a house ?

    depends on how hard u through them
    When you play for Celtic forget the Jersey forget the club, your playing for a people and a cause.

  10. #10
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    A child molestor and a little boy are walking through the woods and the little boy says "man it's kind of scary out here".Then the child molestor says "you think it's scary now,I gotta walk back by myself.

  11. #11
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  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by zombul View Post
    A child molestor and a little boy are walking through the woods and the little boy says "man it's kind of scary out here".Then the child molestor says "you think it's scary now,I gotta walk back by myself.

    nice one mate loved it
    When you play for Celtic forget the Jersey forget the club, your playing for a people and a cause.

  13. #13
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    How do you make a 6-year-old cry twice?

    Wipe your dick on her teddy bear.

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