IronMagLabs Osta Rx


Why did we invade Iraq?

Results 1 to 16 of 16
  1. #1
    I'm CEO, Bitch!
    ADMINISTRATOR

    Prince's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    A Virtual Reality
    Posts
    53,755
    Rep Points
    1600942420


    Why did we invade Iraq?

    Q: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
    A: Because they had weapons of mass destruction.
    Q: But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction.
    A: That's because the Iraqis were hiding them.
    Q: And that's why we invaded Iraq?
    A: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.
    Q: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of mass destruction, did we?
    A: That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, we'll find something, probably right before the 2004 election.
    Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?
    A: To use them in a war, silly.
    Q: I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use in a war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when we went to war with them?
    A: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves.
    Q: That doesn't make sense. Why would they choose to die if they had all those big weapons with which they could have fought back?
    A: It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense.
    Q: I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those weapons our government said they did.
    A: Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether or not they had those weapons. We had another good reason to invade them anyway.
    Q: And what was that?
    A: Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein was a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade another country.
    Q: Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his country?
    A: Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.
    Q: Kind of like what they do in China?
    A: Don't go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops to make U.S. corporations richer.
    Q: So if a country lets its people be exploited for American corporate gain, it's a good country, even if that country tortures people?
    A: Right.
    Q: Why were people in Iraq being tortured?
    A: For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government. People who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.
    Q: Isn't that exactly what happens in China?
    A: I told you, China is different.
    Q: What's the difference between China and Iraq?
    A: Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba'ath party, while China is Communist.
    Q: Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad?
    A: No, just Cuban Communists are bad.
    Q: How are the Cuban Communists bad?
    A: Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba are sent to prison and tortured.
    Q: Like in Iraq?
    A: Exactly.
    Q: And like in China, too?
    A: I told you, China's a good economic competitor. Cuba, on the other hand, is not.
    Q: How come Cuba isn't a good economic competitor?
    A: Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, our government passed some laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business with Cuba until they stopped being Communists and started being capitalists like us.
    Q: But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and started doing business with them, wouldn't that help the Cubans become capitalists?
    A: Don't be a smart-ass.
    Q: I didn't think I was being one.
    A: Well, anyway, they also don't have freedom of religion in Cuba.
    Q: Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement?
    A: I told you, stop saying bad things about China. Anyway, Saddam Hussein came to power through a military coup, so he's not really a legitimate leader anyway.
    Q: What's a military coup?
    A: That's when a military general takes over the government of a country by force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the United States.
    Q: Didn't the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?
    A: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is our friend.
    Q: Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?
    A: I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.
    Q: Didn't you just say a military general who comes to power by forcibly overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an illegitimate leader?
    A: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he helped us invade Afghanistan.
    Q: Why did we invade Afghanistan?
    A: Because of what they did to us on September 11th.
    Q: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?
    A: Well, on September 11th, nineteen men - fifteen of them Saudi Arabians - hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into buildings in New York and Washington, killing 3,000 innocent people.
    Q: So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?
    A: Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the oppressive rule of the Taliban.
    Q: Aren't the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who chopped off people's heads and hands?
    A: Yes, that's exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off people's heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too.
    Q: Didn't the Bush administration give the Taliban 43 million dollars back in May of 2001?
    A: Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good job fighting drugs.
    Q: Fighting drugs?
    A: Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing opium poppies.
    Q: How did they do such a good job?
    A: Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies, the Taliban would have their hands and heads cut off.
    Q: So, when the Taliban cut off people's heads and hands for growing flowers, that was OK, but not if they cut people's heads and hands off for other reasons?
    A: Yes. It's OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off people's hands for growing flowers, but it's cruel if they cut off people's hands for stealing bread.
    Q: Don't they also cut off people's hands and heads in Saudi Arabia?
    A: That's different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchy that oppressed women and forced them to wear burqas whenever they were in public, with death by stoning as the penalty for women who did not comply.
    Q: Don't Saudi women have to wear burqas in public, too?
    A: No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering.
    Q: What's the difference?
    A: The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest yet fashionable garment that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers. The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchal oppression that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers.
    Q: It sounds like the same thing with a different name.
    A: Now, don't go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The Saudis are our friends.
    Q: But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th were from Saudi Arabia.
    A: Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.
    Q: Who trained them?
    A: A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.
    Q: Was he from Afghanistan?
    A: Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a very bad man.
    Q: I seem to recall he was our friend once.
    A: Only when we helped him and the mujahadeen repel the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.
    Q: Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald Reagan talked about?
    A: There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us. We call them Russians now.
    Q: So the Soviets - I mean, the Russians - are now our friends?
    A: Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years after they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our invasion of Iraq, so we're mad at them now. We're also mad at the French and the Germans because they didn't help us invade Iraq either.
    Q: So the French and Germans are evil, too?
    A: Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename French fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.
    Q: Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn't do what we want them to do?
    A: No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.
    Q: But wasn't Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?
    A: Well, yeah. For a while.
    Q: Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?
    A: Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran, which made him our friend, temporarily.
    Q: Why did that make him our friend?
    A: Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.
    Q: Isn't that when he gassed the Kurds?
    A: Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time, we looked the other way, to show him we were his friend.
    Q: So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically becomes our friend?
    A: Most of the time, yes.
    Q: And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically an enemy?
    A: Sometimes that's true, too. However, if American corporations can profit by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all the better.
    Q: Why?
    A: Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for America. Also, since God is on America's side, anyone who opposes war is a godless unAmerican Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?
    Q: I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right?
    A: Yes.
    Q: But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq?
    A: Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and tells him what to do.
    Q: So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq because George W. Bush hears voices in his head?
    A: Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes, make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night.
    Q: Good night, Daddy.

  2. #2
    ..is bulking up!
    ELITE MEMBER

    BulkMeUp's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Cana-dah
    Posts
    5,659
    Rep Points
    3462055

    Quote Originally Posted by Prince View Post
    Q: So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq because George W. Bush hears voices in his head?
    A: Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes, make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night.

  3. #3
    Registered User

    fUnc17's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Central Jersey
    Posts
    1,866
    Rep Points
    195351

    Q: Don't Saudi women have to wear burqas in public, too?
    A: No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering.
    Q: What's the difference?
    A: The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest yet fashionable garment that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers. The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchal oppression that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers.
    www.monmouthkettlebells.blogspot.com
    AJ Oliva RKC, FMS
    Central NJ

  4. #4
    Señor Member
    ELITE MEMBER

    MCx2's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Florida, USA
    Posts
    7,868
    Rep Points
    32567461

    How old is this little kid? He's friggin smart.

  5. #5
    I'm CEO, Bitch!
    ADMINISTRATOR

    Prince's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    A Virtual Reality
    Posts
    53,755
    Rep Points
    1600942420


    yeah, smarter than our president.

  6. #6
    PISSED!!
    ELITE MEMBER

    viet_jon's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Our home and Native land
    Posts
    2,625
    Rep Points
    596737






  7. #7
    Bohemian Extraordinaire
    ELITE MEMBER

    maniclion's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Mēns Incognita
    Posts
    25,581
    Rep Points
    396362507


    I don't know but we just sold another million dollars worth of solar electricity....
    Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
    not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
    and drag down the features of age,
    no folds or creases from unkempt wear
    eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
    no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
    but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012

  8. #8
    __________

    clemson357's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Posts
    2,681
    Rep Points
    4054748

    I know I wanted to invade Iraq because I desperately wanted to hear people complain with every waking breath for three fucking years.
    ________________________

  9. #9
    Registered User

    goandykid's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Posts
    4,376
    Rep Points
    3146535

    Good post.

  10. #10
    Elite Kiki
    ELITE MEMBER

    BigDyl's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Securityland
    Posts
    15,750
    Rep Points
    9693948

    Quote Originally Posted by clemson357 View Post
    I know I wanted to invade Iraq because I desperately wanted to hear people complain with every waking breath for three fucking years.
    True Story, you sound like the frustrated father after answering all of your childs questions.
    Quote Originally Posted by kbm8795 View Post
    Oh, I think Americans understand that the one thing conservatives hate the most is the idea of spending American tax money on Americans. . .in America.


    Your tax money is safe. . .in Iraq.
    Total ownage.

  11. #11
    __________

    clemson357's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Posts
    2,681
    Rep Points
    4054748

    The difference being that a child deserves patience. An adult acting like a child doesn't.
    ________________________

  12. #12
    Registered User

    goandykid's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Posts
    4,376
    Rep Points
    3146535

    zing??

  13. #13
    I'm CEO, Bitch!
    ADMINISTRATOR

    Prince's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    A Virtual Reality
    Posts
    53,755
    Rep Points
    1600942420


    bump

  14. #14
    Lift or Die
    ELITE MEMBER

    BoneCrusher's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Austin Texas
    Posts
    8,588
    Rep Points
    3434652

    Good find Rob.

  15. #15
    Moderator
    MODERATOR

    Dale Mabry's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Elsewhere
    Posts
    15,179
    Rep Points
    122054778


    oil, next question.

  16. #16
    Windy City
    ELITE MEMBER

    Big Smoothy's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    4,969
    Rep Points
    103066337


    Google: PNAC


    The Project for the New American Century.


    Look at it's founding members: Cheney, Rumsfeld, Jeb Bush, Paul Wolfowitz.

    Read the first page of their 90 page mission statement.


    Then you will know why the U.S. invaded Iraq.
    Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

    Mark Twain

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 06-27-2011, 01:57 PM
  2. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 04-28-2011, 02:00 AM
  3. King Crabs Invade Antarctica
    By Prince in forum Open Chat
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 04-26-2011, 10:24 PM
  4. Car-Eating Rabbits Invade Denver Airport
    By Prince in forum Open Chat
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 10-18-2010, 10:36 PM
  5. Next country to invade?
    By TheGreatSatan in forum Open Chat
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 10-27-2003, 08:08 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


DISCLAIMER:
All health, fitness, diet, nutrition & supplement information presented on IronMagazineForums.com's pages is intended as an educational resource and is not intended as a substitute for proper medical advice. We do not condone the use of anabolic steroids (AAS), all information about AAS is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Consult your physician or health care professional before performing any of the exercises, or following any diet, nutrition or supplement advice described on this website. As well as any exercise technique or regimen, diet, supplement, etc., particularly if you are pregnant or nursing, or if you are elderly or have chronic or recurring medical conditions. Discontinue any exercise that causes you pain or severe discomfort and consult a medical expert. The statements made about products have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration (U.S.). They are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any condition or disease. Please consult with your own physician or health care practitioner regarding the suggestions and recommendations made at IronMagazineForums.com. Neither the author of the information, nor the producer, nor distributors of such information make any warranty of any kind in regard to the content of the information presented on this website. Except as specifically stated on this site, neither IronMagazineForums.com, nor any of its authors or other representatives will be liable for damages arising out of, or in connection with the use of this site. This is a comprehensive limitation of liability that applies to all damages of any kind, including (without limitation) compensatory, direct, indirect or consequential damages, loss of data, income or profit, loss of or damage to property and claims of third parties. Sponsors pay for advertising space, we have no affiliation with the companies that have banners displayed on our websites. Please be advised it is your responsibility to check the laws that govern your country, state, or province in regards to items offered by some companies you may read about on this site.