Thread: Stuck in a rut (long read)

Well I did have a similar experience, but I went in the other direction. I was 240-250 lbs when I was 16 years old and only 5'6". I never had a problem with friends but I wanted chicks badly. I was sick of being the "fat funny kid" that everyone compared to Chris Farley. So I did something about it, much like you did. I started lifting, playing basketball, cleaned up my diet, and before I knew it I was 180 lbs. The working out went on for a good 6-8 months, and one day (I don't remember what happened) it just stopped. For a long while I maintained the weight without working out (I'm a meso) and I even hit another growth spurt at some point (I'm almost 5'10" now.) It never really dawned on me that I was slowly but surely putting the weight back on. It took almost 5 years but I weighed myself one day and I was 210lbs. The heaviest I had been since I dropped all my weight. It took alot for me to get back in the gym. I knew how hard it was getting back in there and getting started again, but it was a priority. As hard as you worked, and as much as you accomplished, it just doesn't seem that working out is a priority of yours anymore. Unfortunately sometimes it takes a life altering event to make the nessecary changes. I realized I was on the fast track to obesity so I did something about it. As much as you enjoy being big and in shape, it's something that you and only you can control and make time for. You said it yourself, there is more to life than being big and strong, but now you have to do some soul searching and figure out exactly how much it means to you.

I hope my little story was of some help to you. (Although reading back on it I'm trying to figure out my point. )

Originally Posted by FatCatMC

Well I did have a similar experience, but I went in the other direction. I was 240-250 lbs when I was 16 years old and only 5'6". I never had a problem with friends but I wanted chicks badly. I was sick of being the "fat funny kid" that everyone compared to Chris Farley. So I did something about it, much like you did. I started lifting, playing basketball, cleaned up my diet, and before I knew it I was 180 lbs. The working out went on for a good 6-8 months, and one day (I don't remember what happened) it just stopped. For a long while I maintained the weight without working out (I'm a meso) and I even hit another growth spurt at some point (I'm almost 5'10" now.) It never really dawned on me that I was slowly but surely putting the weight back on. It took almost 5 years but I weighed myself one day and I was 210lbs. The heaviest I had been since I dropped all my weight. It took alot for me to get back in the gym. I knew how hard it was getting back in there and getting started again, but it was a priority. As hard as you worked, and as much as you accomplished, it just doesn't seem that working out is a priority of yours anymore. Unfortunately sometimes it takes a life altering event to make the nessecary changes. I realized I was on the fast track to obesity so I did something about it. As much as you enjoy being big and in shape, it's something that you and only you can control and make time for. You said it yourself, there is more to life than being big and strong, but now you have to do some soul searching and figure out exactly how much it means to you.

I hope my little story was of some help to you. (Although reading back on it I'm trying to figure out my point. )

Yes, that is exactly what is happening to me. I don't know why or how it happened but it's just like my mind told me that it's over and it's no longer my priority. Once i was at 192, i basically maintained for 2-3 months and the only improvements i was making was just strength gains. I was still the same size so all that came to an abrupt stop, like i explained above, and there's just no motivation anymore. Now, i'm trying to figure out what i need to do (and want to do) so i'm asking for help and hoping for someone to say something that will make me think twice about things before i do it.

Thanks for your input

I don't know what you personality type is, but I have an all or nothing personality. Either I am going to lift 4 days a week or I am not going to lift at all. If that is your personality then you will have to start prioritizing.

It is funny you should post this, because I just spent an hour writing in my black journal in the University library about my priorities.

What are you priorities? Think for a while then write them down. Start arranging them from top to bottom. Is sports and partying more important than lifting? Is school more important? Is family and friends? If you were talking to your creator and you had to pick the three things you had to have, what would you pick? You sound like a pretty social guy, so I would bet that you would choose family, friends, women, and sports over lifting if you had to choose only 3.

What is your schedule like? Could you fit all 4 if you really tried? Would squeezing too many activities into your life cause you to fail at many of them, because you can't dedicate yourself to each one? If you had to, could you give up something and never turn back?

I gave up stuff that I really loved doing a few years back, and I have been exponentially better because of it. I find myself dabbling in those things once again, and the effect has been toxic to everythign I now love. We all have to do soul searching and figure out what is most important to us, or we will surely fail at finding happiness in our life.

I know I didn't really do anything but pose more questions. My only advice to you is family and college will have more of an impact on your life than anything else. Women will come and go, there will always be a party to go to, and sports aren't going anywhere.

Good luck!

Originally Posted by KelJu

I don't know what you personality type is, but I have an all or nothing personality. Either I am going to lift 4 days a week or I am not going to lift at all. If that is your personality then you will have to start prioritizing.

It is funny you should post this, because I just spent an hour writing in my black journal in the University library about my priorities.

What are you priorities? Think for a while then write them down. Start arranging them from top to bottom. Is sports and partying more important than lifting? Is school more important? Is family and friends? If you were talking to your creator and you had to pick the three things you had to have, what would you pick? You sound like a pretty social guy, so I would bet that you would choose family, friends, women, and sports over lifting if you had to choose only 3.

What is your schedule like? Could you fit all 4 if you really tried? Would squeezing too many activities into your life cause you to fail at many of them, because you can't dedicate yourself to each one? If you had to, could you give up something and never turn back?

I gave up stuff that I really loved doing a few years back, and I have been exponentially better because of it. I find myself dabbling in those things once again, and the effect has been toxic to everythign I now love. We all have to do soul searching and figure out what is most important to us, or we will surely fail at finding happiness in our life.

I know I didn't really do anything but pose more questions. My only advice to you is family and college will have more of an impact on your life than anything else. Women will come and go, there will always be a party to go to, and sports aren't going anywhere.

Good luck!

I think the best way i can describe my personality is that i am an intravert. I'm very independent and like to do things my own way. I'm organized and plan out my schedule based on things that need to be done and also make time for things i enjoy doing.

As for my priorities, i have been thinking about it for a while now. You posed some very good questions and i will definitely get on that.

Obviously the most important priority for me are my friends, family and school work (future career). As for sports and weightlifting, those two are just a bonus to balance my life and i thoroughly enjoy both. However, i would probably choose weightlifting over sports solely because of the fact the weightlifting has not only helped me get bigger and stronger, it has also boosted my self-esteem, confidence and gave me a more positive outlook on life since it does help me in other aspects of life. Call me crazy but it's true. On the other hand, it takes a lot of hard work, dedication, consistency and it is not really as "fun" as sports because i do love the competitiveness and playing around with the guys so it's something i need to think about. I know there's always time for parties and women but it's very tempting to go out and get hammered and have fun. I'm not too crazy about it but it's college and time flies so why not enjoy it while it lasts?

As for my social life, i have started to notice that i have stronger relationships with many people i know. Last year was just the beginning of a new chapter in my life since i did not know anybody and people just come and go. I had a few friends here and there but it was nothing serious. Well, i have gotten to know some of them over the year and it's starting to become personal. I have a good group of guy and girl friends. It's hard to explain but it's basically the maturity level and "growing up" that hit me hard because i am now becoming a full adult and doing things my own way. The things we do and talk about is a lot different than what i am used to. It's amazing but weird at the same time.

I gave up stuff that I really loved doing a few years back, and I have been exponentially better because of it. I find myself dabbling in those things once again, and the effect has been toxic to everythign I now love. We all have to do soul searching and figure out what is most important to us, or we will surely fail at finding happiness in our life.

This is pretty much what i am going through right now. There are a lot of things i regret doing in the past but i am trying to improve it and balance out my life.

I will probably starting keeping a handbook just to keep track of my priorities and plan things ahead. Thanks for the advice kelju.

I would figure a way now, once you get out of school it gets harder to find time to workout.

Originally Posted by Dale Mabry

I would figure a way now, once you get out of school it gets harder to find time to workout.

That's what I've heard... Lot's of college kids think when they get out of college it will be easier to find time because you're not going to be in school, working part time, and no homework. However, in general you're going to be working 8+ hour workdays, you have to worry about bills/insurance/taxes etc etc, and then there may eventually be family factored into that.

If it were me, I'd say drop sports, because besides recreational paintballing, and going to powerlifting meets, I'm really not interested in doing much else.

It sounds like you want/have to do too much to be content with yourself for some reason. I'm content lifting 4 days a week, going to school, and working part time right now... I don't get a chance to do much with friends very often (2-4 times a month in general), but I've come to accept that for now and I don't have a problem with it.

I have no problem fitting in my meals and training, because I love it. Ok, well maybe I don't love eating 5-6 times a day, but I don't mind because it will get me where I want to be. Training and dieting is the ONLY thing I find myself constantly movitated for. That and sleeping. It all comes down to what you are happy with. Don't do what you don't want to do, but realize that you may have to make sacrifices to do what you want to do. Just think about it, when you think the sum total of what you do will make you happy, go with that.

Originally Posted by Seanp156

That's what I've heard... Lot's of college kids think when they get out of college it will be easier to find time because you're not going to be in school, working part time, and no homework. However, in general you're going to be working 8+ hour workdays, you have to worry about bills/insurance/taxes etc etc, and then there may eventually be family factored into that.

The main problem is that you are typically working 9-5, then going to the gym when everyone else and their mother is there, or not going until 8:30, which is just dumb. When I worked at PENN it was great, I would go on campus udring my lunch break, but that was a cherry deal.

SHiz, how long are your practices? I would figure you could fit in 2 1 hour workouts a week. I trained MTThF while in school, played tennis 90 minutes a day 5 days a week, and got shitbombed Thursday through Sunday. Good times.

We generally practice Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday from 7pm-9pm. We always have a game Friday night and Saturday afternoon. Sunday is definitely a day off for me since i have homework and watch football so i need some rest.

i figured i could do a total body session early in the morning on Monday and Wednesday with Tuesday and Thursday off. How does that sound?

However, i am seriously considering dropping basketball. I am going to give it another two weeks or so when i get back and see how it goes. I thought it was going to be a lot of fun but people seem to be taking it seriously and there's a lot of complaints and ejections/fights over silly calls. It's ridiculous. But i had to pay $30 dollars before the season started to play so they could pay for uniforms and the refs. I'll have to wait and see.

It sounds like you want/have to do too much to be content with yourself for some reason. I'm content lifting 4 days a week, going to school, and working part time right now... I don't get a chance to do much with friends very often (2-4 times a month in general), but I've come to accept that for now and I don't have a problem with it.

I know what you mean and i understand that, but i'm not trying to come off as if i have no time for anything. Last year, i hardly did ANYTHING with my friends and declined many offers to do stuff over the year. I was way too focused on school and lifting. All of that changed this year because i realized what i had been missing out and time flies but that doesn't mean i'm totally quitting lifting. It's just that i am not as focused and motivated as i used to be and i'm trying to think of ways to fix it to the best of my ability so i can be happy and well-rounded.

This is a medical issue as much as a psychosocial issue.

Here's what happened: You became rigidly cemented into a routine. Life became more than habit, it became a minor obsession. This depresses the reward feedback loop fueled by dopamine and serotonin. You eventually became mildly depressed, and when you realized that you were'n't getting your jollies from your workouts, you stopped.

Unfortunately, you did something foolish: you compromised your sleep schedule. In turn, that ramped up your cortisol and reduced your output of melatonin. That fedback into your already depressed dopamine and serotonin levels, that are no longer fed at all by your workouts.

So, even with that cardio, you would loose growth hormone impetus to maintain body mass. But on top of that, you ended up jacking up cortisol output, by taking what is normally a nice sharp peak, and stretching it out (because you ended up being hypoglycemic at the time of max cortisol output, and this changes the peak shape over time). It also shifted your energy maximum from morning to evening, and this fed into a delayed sleep phase pattern.

Does this make sense? You are mildly depressed. Even if you go back to strength training exercise, you may end up in the same cyclic loss of motivation (reward).

Why? Because you didn't have reward feedback built into your workouts..and you failed to take breaks, and to vary your workout schedule by acknowledging goal attainment.

See Kelju's post on planning? Thats a big part of it. You also need a little self therapy. Look at the post on cognitive behavioral therapy. Think in terms of short 3-6 month intervals of attainable goals, and of larger objectives. Seek to modify your training towards specific sports use. Talk to the boyz - Pfunk, CP, and Dale - to find out how to taylor your workouts to help sports performance.

Looks, health, sport performance..balance your objectives, choose your goals.

First, though, think about rewards, the last time you felt reward..do you even know what reward for accomplishment feels like?

Figure that strategy out (how to view and appreciate rewards) using CBT.

As always Trouble great post!

Honestly I wouldnt sweat it to much. Weight lift if you love it. If you just dont feel it anymore then dont do it. I wouldnt do something I hated, but as you are saying you can tell you have lost weight and you dont like that. So you do have a decision to make. Dig down deep and find it because you are the only one who will. I remember I was in the same rut about 3 years ago. I couldnt get motivated to save my life. I didnt train for 3 months. And in those 3 months I got fat! I hated it and myself so I said "Fuck this"! I am not going to be some overweight 22 year old. I mean come on why should I be 22 and overweight? Thats just sad and lazy. So I got back into it, but I eased myself into it. I didnt go balls to the wall at the beginning. I took everything one workout at a time. And before I knew it I lost those 30lbs back that I gained in those few months. As far as your meals go, dont obssess with it so much. If you miss a meal you do, big deal. There will be more. Have fun you are young. Trust me whenever you get married as I am you miss it so dont hold back now. Atleast think of it like this, its better to do something then nothing at all. I mean hell if you get in 4 meals a day you should be ok. I know alot of people would flip out about this, but sometimes in a college kids life things arent as clear cut as alot of people think it is. I know the work load gets tough and the hours and hours of studying take a toll, but hey its college. And its fuckin fun!!! Live it up, but stay dedicated at the same time. I grew like a week in college and I definitly lived it up. You will be fine, just believe in yourself and think of bodybuilding as a foundation that you are builing your life around, not an obsession. Good luck.

Here's what happened: You became rigidly cemented into a routine. Life became more than habit, it became a minor obsession. This depresses the reward feedback loop fueled by dopamine and serotonin. You eventually became mildly depressed, and when you realized that you were'n't getting your jollies from your workouts, you stopped.

Very true.

Unfortunately, you did something foolish: you compromised your sleep schedule. In turn, that ramped up your cortisol and reduced your output of melatonin. That fedback into your already depressed dopamine and serotonin levels, that are no longer fed at all by your workouts.

I didn't necessarily do this on purpose. I was going out with my friends more and that often led to staying up until 3-4 in the morning. I was severely dehydrated and exhausted and i have forced myself to try and get up early but the temptation to continue and sleep was too much so i failed.

So, even with that cardio, you would loose growth hormone impetus to maintain body mass. But on top of that, you ended up jacking up cortisol output, by taking what is normally a nice sharp peak, and stretching it out (because you ended up being hypoglycemic at the time of max cortisol output, and this changes the peak shape over time). It also shifted your energy maximum from morning to evening, and this fed into a delayed sleep phase pattern.

Could you clarify the bolded sentence? I'm a little confused there. But i will agree that i went from a morning person to a night person. I just shifted and could never fully get back on track in the remaining few weeks until the break. I am home now so i have plenty of time to get things back to where it needs to be. As for cardio, like i said, i lose weight very easily since i am an ectomorph. I have only played basketball for one week and i lost 5 pounds easily. Five pounds! This is when i was still eating 6 meals and getting enough sleep. This kind of contributed to how i got a little depressed.

See Kelju's post on planning? Thats a big part of it. You also need a little self therapy. Look at the post on cognitive behavioral therapy. Think in terms of short 3-6 month intervals of attainable goals, and of larger objectives. Seek to modify your training towards specific sports use. Talk to the boyz - Pfunk, CP, and Dale - to find out how to taylor your workouts to help sports performance.

I did see his post and i am working on that. I have also posted a thread in the training forums about a week ago regarding my weightlifting and basketball issue but i didn't get much help out of that.

First, though, think about rewards, the last time you felt reward..do you even know what reward for accomplishment feels like?

I guess, for me, my biggest reward is to look and feel good. I love being big and strong and separating myself from the average joe's. It feels satisfying to be complimented on a daily basis and to be noticed whenever i take my shirt off or when i wear fitted t-shirts. Aside from that, weightlifting does help me in other aspects of life like i described above. I think i'm starting to realize that i value weightlifting more than sports now because it defines who i am and i may have just had a temporary breakdown. Well, i have the next two weeks to collect myself and start fresh when i get back to school.

Thanks for the advice everyone!

Going in the right direction...still need a more solid reward than that. Also solid goals. Pick a weight you want to hit, pick a strength or sports goal.

Then pick a real, solid reward. Something you might want, but wouldn't ordinarily get or do. Something you've been putting off. Might be a little weekend trip. Might be sport equipment, think of it like Christmas.. what do you want for Christmas? Christmas in February. Christmas in July. Think along those lines, use it motivate and reward yourself.

Part of the problem we have is that we are so busy, we forget about this reward system.

Next, you need to build in stress management. Part of your problem is the accumulation of that excess stress and the draining of dopamine.

For that, you need relaxation therapy. Once you get into, using music, you will begin with practice, to feel unasked for waves of pleasure begin to creep into these sessions, as long repressed receptors are activated in the absence of stress hormone.

Then you will know what I am talking about. This is the return of the healthy internal reward neurochemical system. It is the end of depression as well.

I did something similar a while ago. I was a chunky kid, ranging in the 205-210 range at about 6 feet tall by the time I was 15-16. I wasn't grossly overweight, but I had much less muscle mass than now, and I wasn't happy with my appearance. I needed more confidence, and I wanted to get laid.

I went on some crazy diet which I thought was healthy at the time, and I exercised doing what I could (I just did bodyweight stuff, lifted items around the house, and jogged). I got down to about 160, and fairly lean, though not much in the way of muscle. I started getting laid, and that was the end of that.

Later on I got the opportunity to get some equipment in my basement and start lifting again. I forgot how much I used to like it (Particularly when I was 13-14 or so and lifted for wrestling and for a class I was taking). I was hooked, and my lifting career expanded from there.

I didn't start out doing much with my diet at first, except I noticed I was eating a shitload more. My appetite was through the roof. My diet was on and off once I figured out the deal until one day I realized I need to get more serious for continued results. To this day, I adhere to my diet pretty well. However, I also adhere to the 90% rule. I will consume food 55-60 times throughout the week. So, I try not to cheat on more than 5-6 meals for the week, and I'm cool with that. I still seem to get good results with that, so long as I don't go portion crazy with my cheats.

Allowing yourself some leeway is key, I find. Don't let your social life fall apart because of your desire for size and strength. I don't mind staying clean most of the time, but I'm not going to turn down a burger with some friends because of it. I try not to let it become an obsession, even though people already think I'm crazy because I measure my food portions, heh.

You need to step back and realize what's important to you. If you really like basketball, and you really like lifting, then figure out a way to do both. I bet you can do it.

Awesome thread Shiznit, and thanks everyone for the contributions. As we all have experiences like this from time to time

Everyone goes through these phases Shiz, and as has been pointed out. You need figure out a schedule you can work with and goals that are of interest to you. If you can fit in 4 workouts a week, great! If it is 2 that is great as well. That is what this age is all about, learning how to plan, schedule, and set goals. And it is good that you are realizing and going through some self evaluation.

This is the age where you typically set habits, that stand whether they are exercise or eating habits.

As Dale pointed out, once you get out of school and start work finding time becomes that much tougher, as you are putting your career first and are willing to make sacrifices to get the promotion/raise or recognition. Then throw a wife and some kids on that, any sort of schedule you had gets thrown out the window.

So it is good that you are figuring out how to overcome these adversities now, as that will help set you up overcome future adversities.

Keep your head high. We all have these struggles, and it is what defines you.

Originally Posted by FatCatMC

Well I did have a similar experience, but I went in the other direction. I was 240-250 lbs when I was 16 years old and only 5'6". I never had a problem with friends but I wanted chicks badly. I was sick of being the "fat funny kid" that everyone compared to Chris Farley. So I did something about it, much like you did. I started lifting, playing basketball, cleaned up my diet, and before I knew it I was 180 lbs. The working out went on for a good 6-8 months, and one day (I don't remember what happened) it just stopped. For a long while I maintained the weight without working out (I'm a meso) and I even hit another growth spurt at some point (I'm almost 5'10" now.) It never really dawned on me that I was slowly but surely putting the weight back on. It took almost 5 years but I weighed myself one day and I was 210lbs. The heaviest I had been since I dropped all my weight. It took alot for me to get back in the gym. I knew how hard it was getting back in there and getting started again, but it was a priority. As hard as you worked, and as much as you accomplished, it just doesn't seem that working out is a priority of yours anymore. Unfortunately sometimes it takes a life altering event to make the nessecary changes. I realized I was on the fast track to obesity so I did something about it. As much as you enjoy being big and in shape, it's something that you and only you can control and make time for. You said it yourself, there is more to life than being big and strong, but now you have to do some soul searching and figure out exactly how much it means to you.

I hope my little story was of some help to you. (Although reading back on it I'm trying to figure out my point. )

wow dude, I think we have lived the same life. I was 5'7 and 238 30+% bodyfat. I was getting no tail and sick of. I went nuts and got down to 139lbs in about 20 months. Now I'm 180@ 14% bf.

Shiz, do you smoke pot?

Originally Posted by fUnc17

Shiz, do you smoke pot?

Do you think pot would help him?

KelJu, you been dabling in drugs lately??

Originally Posted by KelJu

Do you think pot would help him?

lol, no.

I ask because prior to me becoming a pot head, I was much more productive and ambitious. Thats why I quit, and why alot of my friends are "quitting"

Originally Posted by fUnc17

lol, no.

I ask because prior to me becoming a pot head, I was much more productive and amitious. Thats why I quit, and why alot of my friends are "quitting"

Just about all my friends have been "quitting" for the last 5 years.

Originally Posted by fUnc17

Shiz, do you smoke pot?

No, i don't

i've been there buddy, hell i'm pretty much there now although i have a decent grasp of balance in my life so it seems.

all i have to say is that, last week one of my friends died in a car accident. girl was 22 y/o and very bright. that shit got me thinking hard about life and whats it really all about. best thing i heard was from a friend who i respect very much for his intellect and general attitude towards life. in a weaker moment i asked him what the point of life is and he echoed something that i had believed for a long time but somehow forgot about. life is basically about experiences. when i die i want to be able to say that i honestly went out there and tried to experience everything there is instead of sitting in my house eating goddamned boiled chicken and brown rice afraid to go outside because i might miss a meal or cheat on my diet.

Man, I totally understand what your going thru, Ive haven't lifted consistently since about 3 months ago. My classes and trying to get into dental school, I feel every time I do lift, I lift less weight and its a viscous circle, I get more depressed. However Its something I do enjoy and I have found I feel more organized when I do lift.

Great topic Shiz,

You're in college, so you're young. If you feel one extreme (never wanting to miss a meal, and not joining your friends to college parties) is too much, the you can moderate. Do a half and half. Or a 70/30, and then back to 30/70 or readjust to 40/60.

Our lives are dynamic. Always changing. Our mentalisty, views, social life, etc.

Especially in the college years.

Keep working. Keep being social.

It doesn't have to be 100% one way or the other.

Man you like to change your names

Originally Posted by Yanick

i've been there buddy, hell i'm pretty much there now although i have a decent grasp of balance in my life so it seems.

all i have to say is that, last week one of my friends died in a car accident. girl was 22 y/o and very bright. that shit got me thinking hard about life and whats it really all about. best thing i heard was from a friend who i respect very much for his intellect and general attitude towards life. in a weaker moment i asked him what the point of life is and he echoed something that i had believed for a long time but somehow forgot about. life is basically about experiences. when i die i want to be able to say that i honestly went out there and tried to experience everything there is instead of sitting in my house eating goddamned boiled chicken and brown rice afraid to go outside because i might miss a meal or cheat on my diet.

I finally remembered that your post was the one that got me thinking. Jan 2007 Goals

All of that (except the drugs) is what made me step back and re-evaluate my life because i have seriously been missing out in the last two years or so. I need to balance it out and make sure i am having fun both ways rather than just worrying about my meals and what program i am going to do and so forth. The key for me is to start writing a plan, a schedule book to keep me on track.