Reply With QuoteIn a truly loving partnership, you are devoted to your mate and invest in them, because it furthers your chances in survival and successful reproduction (going by the rules of natural monogamy).
Counter question: how do divide a living man in two, and have him survive?
You cannot divide the special affections one holds for a mate equally among two recipients. You can have love and lust, but neither is whole nor healthy.
Polyamorous conditions in humans almost always results in serious calamity; when it does not, its because emotional subjugation is present, and that too, is most unhealthy.
Can you be in love with more than one person?
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11-20-2006, 11:22 PM #1SoCal. Stud ELITE MEMBER
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Can you be in love with more than one person?
Can you be in love with more than one person? If no, who makes these rules?
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<- that way about 20 more pounds!
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11-20-2006, 11:39 PM #2Anti-mediocrity ELITE MEMBER
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11-21-2006, 12:10 AM #3SoCal. Stud ELITE MEMBER
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.
Originally Posted by Trouble
In a truly loving partnership, you are devoted to your mate and invest in them, because it furthers your chances in survival and successful reproduction (going by the rules of natural monogamy).
Wouldn't investing your time with many increase your chances? The law of large number is in your favor
Counter question: how do divide a living man in two, and have him survive?
You cannot divide the special affections one holds for a mate equally among two recipients. You can have love and lust, but neither is whole nor healthy.
why?
Polyamorous conditions in humans almost always results in serious calamity; when it does not, its because emotional subjugation is present, and that too, is most unhealthy.
Maybe its like two bisexual best friends who fall in love with someone and love each other?... ok this one is just a dream lol230_225_220_215_210_205_200_195_190_185_180
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11-21-2006, 12:24 AM #4Registered User
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I think it depends on the type of love. I love both my parents...
If you are talking about relationship love, I don't think so. From my (limited) experience, the one time I was truly in love all other guys didn't seem to matter, they might as well have been girls for all I was concerned. He was the only person that I noticed or cared about in that way.
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11-21-2006, 09:03 AM #5Fueled by Testosterone MODERATOR
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I think certainly you can. How can something so complex and relatively undefineable as love be relegated to rules? You can love different people if different ways, love people for the "wrong" (Obviously grossly subjective) reasons, you can stop loving someone and you can start loving someone without a seemingly distinct turning point, specific set of reasons, etc. Love is too complicated to be contained by boundaries.
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11-21-2006, 09:50 AM #6Registered User
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Although I don't approve, you might want to google polygamy
You guys are going to lose. You might as well just cheer for me, because Boston isn’t winning in Boston for the season opener. I’m sorry. " - Gilbert Arenas
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11-21-2006, 09:52 AM #7Metrosexual ELITE MEMBER
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Having one girlfriend/wife is hard enough. Why would you want more than one?
So many cries of inequality stem from one of group
of people doing little or nothing and then bitching
about another group that actually does something
to improve their lives.
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11-21-2006, 10:33 AM #8Thats Dr. Keke to you! ELITE MEMBER
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The Mormons make it work nicely. Multiple wives works better for Mormons than the traditional marriages work for the rest of Americans. Originally Posted by DOMS
I think it rocks. If those Mormon women didn't look like they hit ever branch on the way down from the top of the ugly tree, I might would adopt Mormonism.“I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.”
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11-21-2006, 10:39 AM #9Registered User
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I think you can just LOVE. There is something very special about committing to just one person as a life partner that is not available otherwise.
I do think a lot of people confuse the biological wiring and set of hormonal/neurological responses of 'falling in love' the feeling with really BEING in LOVE
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11-21-2006, 10:44 AM #10Metrosexual ELITE MEMBER
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Originally Posted by KelJu
They don't do that anymore. They haven't done it since the late 1800s. Originally Posted by KelJu
So many cries of inequality stem from one of group
of people doing little or nothing and then bitching
about another group that actually does something
to improve their lives.
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11-21-2006, 11:01 AM #11Thats Dr. Keke to you! ELITE MEMBER
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They still do it. When I get out of class later this afternoon, I'll pull you some links. There have been investigations reporting polygamy and underage marriage. The only difference is the news was calling them cults, but they were just Mormons living by the old teachings. Originally Posted by DOMS
They don't do that anymore. They haven't done it since the late 1800s.“I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.”
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11-21-2006, 11:04 AM #12Metrosexual ELITE MEMBER
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Those aren't members of the Mormon church. They'd excommunicate them for that. They're their own church (an offshoot in the loosest sense). Originally Posted by KelJu
So many cries of inequality stem from one of group
of people doing little or nothing and then bitching
about another group that actually does something
to improve their lives.
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11-21-2006, 11:55 AM #13Yuppie
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I think you can love more than one girl (deeply care for her) but you can only be in love with one at a time. I still deeply care for a lot of my ex-girlfriends as good friends who genuinely want the best for me and I genuinely want the best for them. As for being in love, it's putting her above all else and only having eyes for one girl.
Polygamy to me seems is mainly for financial reasons and status. You can joke that a lot of monogamy is as well, but I'd like to think it typically doesn't start as that
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11-21-2006, 12:22 PM #14Registered User
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The washingtonpost jsut did an article on 3 "sister-wives" that are fighting to make it legal in their state. Tehyr an estimated 40,000 still out there
You guys are going to lose. You might as well just cheer for me, because Boston isn’t winning in Boston for the season opener. I’m sorry. " - Gilbert Arenas
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11-21-2006, 02:05 PM #15Bohemian Extraordinaire ELITE MEMBER
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Just as you can hate several people you can love just as many...love knows no boundary....I love all of you.
Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
and drag down the features of age,
no folds or creases from unkempt wear
eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012
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11-21-2006, 02:42 PM #16Yuppie
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but are you in love with all of us? Originally Posted by maniclion
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11-21-2006, 03:05 PM #17% ELITE MEMBER
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Yes one can be in love, in the romantic sense, with more than one person. Acting on that is another matter.
Everyone thinks they are unique. There are 10,000 people just like you out there. So love for another can occur.
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11-21-2006, 03:15 PM #18Registered User
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I believe you can be in love with more than one person - if you are NOT in a relationship or married.
I don't really think you can give your whole self/mind/being to more than one person if you are involved though.
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11-21-2006, 03:20 PM #19Registered User
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I'm in love with most women I meet.
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11-21-2006, 03:22 PM #20Registered User
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I think that would be "in lust" wouldn't it?? Originally Posted by NeilPearson
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11-21-2006, 04:02 PM #21I am Rollo Tomassee.. ELITE MEMBER
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Why is that.. Originally Posted by katt
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11-21-2006, 04:16 PM #22Registered User
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that's just my opinion - you can be in love with two people, but once you are committed, if two people come into play, I would think the inner conflict would play a part. Originally Posted by AKIRA
The basis of a realtionship is honesty and trust, so wouldn't you have confusion and an imbalance with two people?? Does that make any sense whatsoever??
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11-21-2006, 05:19 PM #23% ELITE MEMBER
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Assuming that the people accept monogamy--and all the attendant values that go with it--I would agree with you. But that's not absolute. Values blow like the wind. And so do many different people. Originally Posted by katt
that's just my opinion - you can be in love with two people, but once you are committed, if two people come into play, I would think the inner conflict would play a part.
The basis of a realtionship is honesty and trust, so wouldn't you have confusion and an imbalance with two people?? Does that make any sense whatsoever??
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11-21-2006, 05:26 PM #24Registered User
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Point taken - Originally Posted by Decker
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11-21-2006, 05:45 PM #25Bohemian Extraordinaire ELITE MEMBER
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If 2 girls loved me at once I would surely love them back, but I'm a deprogrammed individual in a individualist reality...
Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
and drag down the features of age,
no folds or creases from unkempt wear
eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012
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11-21-2006, 06:20 PM #26Registered User
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Originally Posted by maniclion
I am with Mancilion, love is just love. The whole pair-bonding thing seems to me to be more about basic biological wiring, it is an evolutionary adaptation in mammals and the bonding time depends on the amount of time it takes to raise an offspring (mostly, there are exceptions).
I think that having one special partner in your life is an amazing gift that most take for granted as something that is just done.
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11-21-2006, 06:22 PM #27Im hungry ELITE MEMBER
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manic, is that HST in your avi?
Prohibition goes beyond the bounds of reason in that it attempts to control a man's appetite by legislation, and makes a crime out of things that are not crimes. Abraham Lincoln
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11-21-2006, 06:41 PM #28Bohemian Extraordinaire ELITE MEMBER
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Of course it is you filthy swine...! Originally Posted by Spitfire
Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
and drag down the features of age,
no folds or creases from unkempt wear
eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012
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11-21-2006, 06:45 PM #29Monochromatic Bunny
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I am still trying to find out if you can love someone and you want to know about more than one person?
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11-21-2006, 06:59 PM #30Bohemian Extraordinaire ELITE MEMBER
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"Live your lives out? Naw, love your lives out." - Jack Kerouac
Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
and drag down the features of age,
no folds or creases from unkempt wear
eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012
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