What I learned from Porn...

**Witmaster** · 12-06-2006, 10:45 AM

WHAT PORNO'S WOULD HAVE YOU BELIEVE...
1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are always rock hard and ready to go.
3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.
10. All women are noisy fucks.
11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
12. Those tits are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other (and the girl isn't disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
17. Asian men don't exist.
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't have even the slightest problem with you jamming your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
19. There's a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
21. Nurses suck patient's cocks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
26. Assholes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trouser and find a cock there.
29. Men don't have to beg.
30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
31. Every guy has a penis as big as John Holmes.
32. All women are completely bald.
33. Women really don't mind being picked up off the street and then fucked in a moving van.
34. Any girl with pigtails is a teen.
35. Any other girl is a MILF.

Feel free to add your insight

**Witchblade** · 12-06-2006, 10:48 AM

17 and 19, haha! This is great!

**goandykid** · 12-06-2006, 10:50 AM

Women always have sex with the pizza man, plumber, and boss.

**KelJu** · 12-06-2006, 10:59 AM

Originally Posted by Witmaster

WHAT PORNO'S WOULD HAVE YOU BELIEVE...
1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are always rock hard and ready to go.
3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.
10. All women are noisy fucks.
11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
12. Those tits are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other (and the girl isn't disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
17. Asian men don't exist.
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't have even the slightest problem with you jamming your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
19. There's a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
21. Nurses suck patient's cocks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
26. Assholes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trouser and find a cock there.
29. Men don't have to beg.
30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
31. Every guy has a penis as big as John Holmes.
32. All women are completely bald.
33. Women really don't mind being picked up off the street and then fucked in a moving van.
34. Any girl with pigtails is a teen.
35. Any other girl is a MILF.

Feel free to add your insight

I can add to the list.

Plumbers and pizza delivery guys get a lot of ass.

**KelJu** · 12-06-2006, 11:00 AM

Originally Posted by goandykid

Women always have sex with the pizza man, plumber, and boss.

**goandykid** · 12-06-2006, 11:01 AM

Originally Posted by KelJu

I can add to the list.

Plumbers and pizza delivery guys get a lot of ass.

haha, you bastard.

**KelJu** · 12-06-2006, 11:19 AM

I clicked post with quickpost, then walked to the kitchen to make some coffee. When I walked back, I saw that quickpost was still sitting there, so I copy pasted into the regular post text area. In that amount of time you had posted exactly what I posted, and I look like a retard.

**fUnc17** · 12-06-2006, 11:22 AM

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trouser and find a cock there.

**goandykid** · 12-06-2006, 12:11 PM

Originally Posted by KelJu

I clicked post with quickpost, then walked to the kitchen to make some coffee. When I walked back, I saw that quickpost was still sitting there, so I copy pasted into the regular post text area. In that amount of time you had posted exactly what I posted, and I look like a retard.

Regardless, we both had a solid point. Porn makes me want to be a pizza man.

**MCx2** · 12-06-2006, 12:12 PM

My favorite:

25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".

**MCx2** · 12-06-2006, 12:12 PM

Originally Posted by goandykid

Regardless, we both had a solid point. Porn makes me want to be a pizza man.

Being a pizza man made me want to be a porn star.

**Spud** · 12-06-2006, 02:45 PM

Originally Posted by Witmaster

WHAT PORNO'S WOULD HAVE YOU BELIEVE...
11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

Hahahah!

**fletcher6490** · 12-06-2006, 03:17 PM

People don't ever have sex with the covers over them.

**fletcher6490** · 12-06-2006, 03:21 PM

Guys can last long enough to get a blow job then fuck her missionary then get blown again then fuck her doggy style then get blown again then fuck her in the ass and finally get blown again.

Maybe it's just me

**DOMS** · 12-06-2006, 03:45 PM

Originally Posted by fletcher6490

Guys can last long enough to get a blow job then fuck her missionary then get blown again then fuck her doggy style then get blown again then fuck her in the ass and finally get blown again.

Maybe it's just me

You can't keep your man from blowing his wad while you do all that?

**ALBOB** · 12-06-2006, 03:50 PM

36. Every woman in the world absolutely loves anal sex. Even if it's her first time.

**Little Wing** · 12-06-2006, 09:57 PM

some nuns have hooker nails and bikini tan lines.

**clemson357** · 12-06-2006, 10:11 PM

What I learned from porn:

the jackhammer

**DOMS** · 12-07-2006, 09:28 AM

Originally Posted by Little Wing

some nuns have hooker nails and bikini tan lines.

**Witchblade** · 12-07-2006, 11:18 AM

Size matters.

Oh wait, it does.

**DOMS** · 12-07-2006, 11:33 AM

Originally Posted by Witchblade

Size matters.

Oh wait, it does.

Doesn't it make you gag?

**Detroit_4_Life** · 12-08-2006, 09:47 PM

Every single girl has no problem with giving head

**Little Wing** · 12-09-2006, 08:27 AM

some girls have their clitoris located inside their vagina and will moan uncontrollably n have loud earth shattering orgasms from being screwed in positions the clitoris normally would recieve no stimulation is it were locayed in the usual spot.

**Little Wing** · 12-09-2006, 08:29 AM

a 120 pound woman can squirt 3 gallons of fluid during the course of an hours sex and not even be thirsty.... and no one will even ask if she needs to use the bathroom or offer her toilet paper.

**Little Wing** · 12-09-2006, 08:36 AM

cock doesn't taste like shit immediately after a guy pulls it out of your ass.

**Little Wing** · 12-09-2006, 08:40 AM

girls will happily suck your cock less than a second after you remove it from another girls ass or vagina

**Little Wing** · 12-09-2006, 08:41 AM

if you have a big fat cock pretty girls will fuck you even if you look like ron jeremy's dad and all your clothes came from the 70's.

**Little Wing** · 12-09-2006, 08:49 AM

n nine million things that go on the "to do" list.

**bio-chem** · 12-09-2006, 12:31 PM

Originally Posted by Little Wing

some girls have their clitoris located inside their vagina and will moan uncontrollably n have loud earth shattering orgasms from being screwed in positions the clitoris normally would recieve no stimulation is it were locayed in the usual spot.

can i get a map?

**Little Wing** · 12-10-2006, 02:53 AM

Originally Posted by bio-chem

can i get a map?

i'll trade you a map for spell check

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