Thread: He's available??

Originally Posted by lioness

If a couple had been seeing each other for a couple years...

Originally Posted by lioness

1st year taking it slow. The last 6 months...much more serious.

AND

The guy posted on a site similar to this that he was "single, available"...and was flirting sending pics back and forth to other women...

In the ‘near 40’ age group…not 20 something. Oh...it's not for me...it's for a "friend". Fine, the question is for me.

He's alot like Manic...a leo. Manic talks about his sweetie. I just can't make sense of what to do here.

Thoughts....

Also wondering what I can buy at the liquor store…I mostly drink wine…think I might want something more substantial tonight.

You must be without a doubt sure the person you see posting as him is in fact him ... not some sneaky ass contender for his affections. The internets are filled with strategery.

After you validate unequivocally it's him ... deal with what your heart has told you and you've already posted here in this thread. He violated the rules of the game so he’s not morally responsible enough to invest yourself in anymore. At our age we have no time for dealing with emotionally irresponsible shitheads. If he is in a committed relationship with you and posting that kinda shit he is violating your right to be treated with respect and consideration emotionally. Kick him to the curb in a way that gives you quality closure.

Just be sure it is him posting first ... not someone trying to break you up so she can then show up at his door to console him. People can be very ruthless in matters of love and money.

VERY GOOD POINTS. Thank you for you thoughts...

I'm 99% sure it's him. He's sent me info from this site he's on...things about diet and such. He's mentions it often.

The only reason I questioned it at 1st (besides I just didn't WANT to believe)...was that somebody sent me the links my email...I don't know who it was. THAT was strange. At 1st I was mad and trying to figure out WHO sent them...

BUT

The point is...it doesn't matter who or why in the end. Those are his words and actions.

I will show him though... I will be real and honest.

He was finally letting his guard down with me...not being so scared of being hurt again...willing to see where this might go...hanging around my kids some, decorating my house together, spending holidays with each other's family.

this is gonna be hell...

make sure there is really something to be upset over. it is easy for a guy to say something flirtatious or even sexy online and it really means nothing. there are guys even on im that will say something to be funny or encouraging maybe even comforting but they are good loyal guys and there is no real intent sexual or otherwise. he's not a woman so don't expect him to act or think like one. it is hard to accept guys thinking another woman is hot, harder to accept them saying so but STILL it is miles away from them stepping away from your side and toward another. but if he is making plans or trying to stir up some cyber kick him in the nads.

Originally Posted by Little Wing

make sure there is really something to be upset over. it is easy for a guy to say something flirtatious or even sexy online and it really means nothing. there are guys even on im that will say something to be funny or encouraging maybe even comforting but they are good loyal guys and there is no real intent sexual or otherwise. he's not a woman so don't expect him to act or think like one. it is hard to accept guys thinking another woman is hot, harder to accept them saying so but STILL it is miles away from them stepping away from your side and toward another. but if he is making plans or trying to stir up some cyber kick him in the nads.

THAT is what keeps coming up in my head. ^^^

This is why I thought I'd ask and get others opinions. My brain feels like a scrambled egg right now.

I am okay with the flirting...sort of What I DON'T like is the question was asked something like, "Are you single, married, taken?" Some people put 'in between'...etc. But it was a clear...I am single and have nobody in my life. It was CLEAR cut.

THAT is different that being flirty and sexual. IMO

He maintained being 'single' in town for a LONG time. But things had changed...I thought. So, it's a bit of a raw nerve with me.

Thanks for your insight... very true.

yea i'd be pissed if my s.o. said that.

Originally Posted by lioness

I am okay with the flirting...sort of What I DON'T like is the question was asked something like, "Are you single, married, taken?" Some people put 'in between'...etc. But it was a clear...I am single and have nobody in my life. It was CLEAR cut.

If he said it like that, It's not a good sign

But you know, you can get all mad and shit, but you need to talk to him, ask him what the fuck is going on, I mean, yes he could lie about the reason why he said something like that, but you said something about him being hurt, well that could change the situ al little bit, but it's clear that he hurt you with this, and if he does not know that he did that, he'll probably do it again.

I'd offer the other half of my scotch but... you don't seem like the scotch type.

Man... I've really not words to say that could offer you any further condolence other than the fact that you deserve far better than that.

You need to confront him. Sober preferably.

Doesn't sound right. What kinda morooooon would say that kinda stuff in a place he would get busted at? Sounds like someone is screwing the pooch here ...

If he did then he is over stating his level of involvement emotionally with you. That is teenage just learning how to date kinda crap ... not what you'd expect from a grown-up.

I do not look forward to dating again. I sooo do not miss this kinda BS.

Originally Posted by BoneCrusher

Doesn't sound right. What kinda morooooon would say that kinda stuff in a place he would get busted at? Sounds like someone is screwing the pooch here ...

If he did then he is over stating his level of involvement emotionally with you. That is teenage just learning how to date kinda crap ... not what you'd expect from a grown-up.

I do not look forward to dating again. I sooo do not miss this kinda BS.

Look at it objectively...as if you were not emotionally involved. What would you say if your friend came to you in this exact same situation? Don't jump to any conclusions but it sounds to me like you're taking this relationship a lot more seriously than he is, or someone is fucking w/ you.

Eventually you're going to have to confront him, jsut don't let emotion cloud your judgement. It could be a complete misunderstanding. I hope all works out, and if not, his loss.

Originally Posted by Witmaster

I'd offer the other half of my scotch but... you don't seem like the scotch type.

It's okay. I'll take it.

Originally Posted by goandykid

Look at it objectively...as if you were not emotionally involved. What would you say if your friend came to you in this exact same situation? Don't jump to any conclusions but it sounds to me like you're taking this relationship a lot more seriously than he is, or someone is fucking w/ you.
Eventually you're going to have to confront him, jsut don't let emotion cloud your judgement. It could be a complete misunderstanding. I hope all works out, and if not, his loss.

I’m trying to look at it without the emotions. That's why I posted. I'm pretty 'real'. I don't have many Illusions. I'm not the lady with her head in the clouds.

But we have been exclusive for awhile (at least a year...I don't have a date). Lately we've had serious/honest talks and we both completely understood where the other was at.

And...he's not the type to 'fuck with me'. ALTHOUGH that is EXACTLY how it looks...I realize. He's probably the most honest, loyal, capable man I’ve ever known. He doesn't blow sunshine up my *ss to make me feel better. He's real...so, when he's said he was ready (and all those other gooey things I won't dare put in writing...lol)...It was authentic.

If I were you...I'd say what YOU just said. That makes sense. That's what I would tell a friend. I'll know soon.



Thanks for your input. It helps hearing different perspectives...

Originally Posted by Witmaster

I'd offer the other half of my scotch but... you don't seem like the scotch type.

Never tried it. There's a 1st time for everything.

Originally Posted by goandykid

It's okay. I'll take it.

No...I'm 38...time to try scotch!!!!

Originally Posted by Little Wing

yea i'd be pissed if my s.o. said that.

I would never have any of my online identitities (alwayas ManicLion) suggest that I am not who I am if I wanted to be an actor I'd have pursued an acting career, obviously if he feel you're not worth mentioning to others in the cyber world then he doesn't deserve you.,,,,<Here's a big pair of lion paws coming around your shoulders and squeezing you tight mah dear>

Originally Posted by lioness

Never tried it. There's a 1st time for everything.




No...I'm 38...time to try scotch!!!!

Really, you've never tried it?

James Bond is somewhere shaking his head right now.

Originally Posted by lioness

I’m trying to look at it without the emotions. That's why I posted. I'm pretty 'real'. I don't have many Illusions. I'm not the lady with her head in the clouds.

Were that truly the case, I'd say dump his fucking ass esta pronto.

Originally Posted by Mudge

Were that truly the case, I'd say dump his fucking ass esta pronto.

If that were the case, she already would have.

As hard as you try to look at it objectively, you are human. Find out the full story, then act as you know you should, not as you want.

Also you must consider the weight of your responsibility in this post. Now we as your fellow IM members are invested in you emtionally. We feel what you feel, want to cry with you, and would kick this guy's ass if you just nod. So keep us posted on the outcome.

Hell we'd even help you set up and nab his ass for being a two-timer if you want. One of us could act like a cyber hottie and get him to meet some 3 hours away from his home then do a no show ... a few times . Repost images of some ubber hot unknown on imageshack to keep him droolingly interested in going the extra distance then end it with him coming to somewhere close and "Hello" it is you there laughing at him. Just a thought ...

BC, you are truly evil. Good work!

Originally Posted by Triple Threat

BC, you are truly evil. Good work!

Originally Posted by lioness

If a couple had been seeing each other for a couple years...

1st year taking it slow. The last 6 months...much more serious.

AND

The guy posted on a site similar to this that he was "single, available"...and was flirting sending pics back and forth to other women...

In the ‘near 40’ age group…not 20 something. Oh...it's not for me...it's for a "friend". Fine, the question is for me.

He's alot like Manic...a leo. Manic talks about his sweetie. I just can't make sense of what to do here.

Thoughts....

Also wondering what I can buy at the liquor store…I mostly drink wine…think I might want something more substantial tonight.

Tell the little dick punk bitch to fuckoff. Then, broadcast his name, address and the size of the little dick that he has. Finally, go out and bang someone for fun. Then leave. Or, have some lesbo sex videotape it and send it to me via PM.

oh and forget the booze. Sex is more fun.

Originally Posted by maniclion

I would never have any of my online identitities (alwayas ManicLion) suggest that I am not who I am if I wanted to be an actor I'd have pursued an acting career, obviously if he feel you're not worth mentioning to others in the cyber world then he doesn't deserve you.,,,,<Here's a big pair of lion paws coming around your shoulders and squeezing you tight mah dear>

there are only two members who know my real identity. I dont share this shit with everyone, as i am a closed guy. If I share this with others, than they are really cool peeps to me. I take as this guy seeing if he can have his cake and eat it too. He doesnt give two shits about her and he needs to disappear. Little punk ass bitch.

Originally Posted by maniclion

I would never have any of my online identitities (alwayas ManicLion) suggest that I am not who I am if I wanted to be an actor I'd have pursued an acting career, obviously if he feel you're not worth mentioning to others in the cyber world then he doesn't deserve you.,,,,<Here's a big pair of lion paws coming around your shoulders and squeezing you tight mah dear>

Awww. Thanks.

I copied what you wrote (minus your name ) to give to him. That's exactly how I feel.

Where's Flex ... someone get Flex on the line. This would be $50 well spent.

Originally Posted by BoneCrusher

Also you must consider the weight of your responsibility in this post. Now we as your fellow IM members are invested in you emtionally. We feel what you feel, want to cry with you, and would kick this guy's ass if you just nod. So keep us posted on the outcome.

Hell we'd even help you set up and nab his ass for being a two-timer if you want. One of us could act like a cyber hottie and get him to meet some 3 hours away from his home then do a no show ... a few times . Repost images of some ubber hot unknown on imageshack to keep him droolingly interested in going the extra distance then end it with him coming to somewhere close and "Hello" it is you there laughing at him. Just a thought ...

Yeah...a girlfriend said the same thing! Sounds fun. Not my style. It made me laugh though!

I saw what I needed to see. As Little Wing said...lots of people flirt. He's been on this site for YEARS... It's a place like this. It'd be like one of you who'd been here 5 years...saying you're Single on a thread that asked. It's a place where you mention things like that.

I thought about showing ya'll the link...but I'm afraid someone here might know him.

I'm not trying to cause anyone trouble. I just want some peace and a great life. No revenge...just some answers..

THANKS FOR THE OFFER!

Originally Posted by lioness

Yeah...a girlfriend said the same thing! Sounds fun. Not my style. It made me laugh though!

I saw what I needed to see. As Little Wing said...lots of people flirt. He's been on this site for YEARS... It's a place like this. It'd be like one of you who'd been here 5 years...saying you're Single on a thread that asked. It's a place where you mention things like that.

I thought about showing ya'll the link...but I'm afraid someone here might know him.

I'm not trying to cause anyone trouble. I just want some peace and a great life. No revenge...just some answers..

THANKS FOR THE OFFER!

Ummmmm ..... nah. I don't flirt if I'm commited. Someone might take me up on it and then where would I be? Anyone who flirts is saying he/she/mino is open to where ever the outcome goes to.

Thanks all...

He's actually not a big creep. I have much higher standards than allowing some 'player' in my life. He's a solid, wise man. He makes mistakes...he has 'baggage' like the rest of us.

Your various perspectives helped me put into words all the different thoughts and feelings I had.

I talked to him. He sort of was ticked at me...saying I was checking up on him. I'll tell ya what...I sure did poke around there once I saw that post...but I don't ever check up on him in any way...I trusted him. I saw some stuff when I started looking the day I got the email. I can't keep that stuff quiet...I would have spoken up before. I wear my heart on my sleeve!!!!

He said nobody knows it's him on the site (1 person) and they don't have my email. I'd sent info from there to 3-5 people...so maybe it's one of them. Anywhoooo...I tried to let that conversation slide...b/c it really didn't matter.

He was honest and truthful...explained but didn't try to cover up anything. He couldn't believe I was so upset...I'd been crying.

I'm exhausted. Things were left open...not sure what will happen from here. I mentioned taking a little 'break'. He seemed to think I needed it. I needed it! He's into zen...and he thinks I have alot of negative in my head right now...that I need to clear out. really???? ya think???


Thanks again for your insight. I learn from other peoples experiences. Thanks all...

Just play this safe emotionally. Sounds fishy ... he blames you for not being blind. Who does that?