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Hey Norm!

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Thread: Hey Norm!

  1. 02-19-2007, 08:13 AM #1
    min0 lee
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    Hey Norm!

    No Help Wanted


    Coach:Can I draw you a beer, Norm?
    Norm:No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one.
    Coach:How about a beer, Norm?
    Norm:Hey, I'm high on life, Coach. Of course, beer is my life.
    Fortune and Men's Weights:




    Coach:How's a beer sound, Norm?
    Norm:I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in.
    Coach:What's up, Norm?
    Norm:Corners of my mouth, Coach.
    Snow Job:




    Coach:What's shaking, Norm?
    Norm:All four cheeks and a couple of chins, Coach.
    Coach:Beer, Normie?
    Norm:Uh, Coach, I dunno, I had one this week. Eh, why not, I'm still young.
    Norman's Conquest:




    [Norm comes in with an attractive woman.]Coach:Normie, Normie, could this be Vera?
    Norm:With a lot of expensive surgery, maybe.
    I'll Be Seeing You (Part 2)




    Coach:What's up, Normie?
    Norm:The temperature under my collar, Coach.
    Diane Meets Mom:




    Coach:What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?Norm:Going down?[Norm returns from the hospital.]Coach:What's up, Norm?
    Norm:Everything that's supposed to be.
    Peterson Crusoe:




    [Norm comes in, depressed. He just stands by the door with a sullen face.]
    Norm:[mutters] Afternoon, everybody.
    All:Norm? (Norman?)
    The Heart is a Lonely Snipehunter:




    Sam:What's new, Normie?
    Norm:Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach. They're demanding beer.
    King of the Hill:



    Coach:What'll it be, Normie?
    Norm:Just the usual, Coach. I'll have a froth of beer and a snorkel.
    The Mail Goes to Jail:




    Coach:What would you say to a beer, Normie?Norm:Daddy wuvs you.
    Behind Every Great Man:


    Sam:What'd you like, Normie?
    Norm:A reason to live. Gimme another beer.
    Norm:Afternoon, everybody.
    Cliff:Afternoon, everybody.
    All:[silence]
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  3. 02-19-2007, 08:18 AM #2
    min0 lee
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    Woody:How's it going, Mr. Peterson?
    Norm:Poor.
    Woody:I'm sorry to hear that.
    Norm:No, I mean pour.

    Sam:How's life treating you, Norm?
    Norm:Like it caught me sleeping with its wife.

    Norm:Women. Can't live with 'em, pass the beer nuts.

    Sam:What's going down, Normie?
    Norm:My butt cheeks on that bar stool.

    Sam:How's life in the fast lane?
    Norm:Dunno, can't get on the on-ramp.

    Woody:Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?
    Norm:Alright, but stop me at one ... make that one-thirty.

    Sam:What's the story, Norm?
    Norm:Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer.

    Sam:How about a beer, Norm?
    Norm:That's that amber sudsy stuff, right? I've heard good things about it!

    Woody:What's going on, Mr. Peterson?
    Norm:The question is what's going in Mr. Peterson. A beer please, Woody.

    Sam:What's up, Normie?
    Norm:My nipples, it's freezing out there.
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  4. 02-19-2007, 08:53 AM #3
    DOMS
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    Quote Originally Posted by min0 lee View Post
    [Norm comes in with an attractive woman.]
    Coach:     Normie, Normie, could this be Vera?
    Norm: With a lot of expensive surgery, maybe.
    So many cries of inequality stem from one of group
    of people doing little or nothing and then bitching
    about another group that actually does something
    to improve their lives.
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  5. 02-19-2007, 09:19 AM #4
    Witmaster
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    I miss Cheers. That was a fantastic show.
    NEVER write a check with your mouth that you can't cash with your ASS!!

    I can run faster mad than you can scared

    "All right brain... I don't like you and you don't like me. So let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer" ~ Homer Simpson
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  6. 02-19-2007, 10:15 AM #5
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    Cliff:"Well, ya see Norm, it's like this...A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first."

    "This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members."

    "In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first."

    "In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
    I hope that donkey doesn't have a heinie troll!


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  7. 02-19-2007, 10:16 AM #6
    min0 lee
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    Quote Originally Posted by the nut View Post
    Cliff:"Well, ya see Norm, it's like this...A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first."

    "This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members."

    "In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first."

    "In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
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  8. 02-19-2007, 11:19 AM #7
    Gazhole
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    Cliff's explanations were the best part of that show.
    http://www.getlifting.info

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    Disclaimer: All health, fitness, diet, nutrition, anabolic steroid & supplement information posted here is intended for educational and informational purposes only, and is not intended as a substitute for proper medical advice from a medical doctor. We do not condone the use of anabolic steroids (AAS), all information about AAS is for educational and entertainment purposes only. If you choose to use AAS it's your responsibility to know the laws of the country that you live in. Consult your physician or health care professional before performing any of the exercises, or following any diet, nutrition or supplement advice described on this website.
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  9. 02-19-2007, 12:21 PM #8
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  10. 02-19-2007, 04:03 PM #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by the nut View Post
    Cliff:"Well, ya see Norm, it's like this...A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first."

    "This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members."

    "In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first."

    "In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
    You don't know how many times I've used that in support of judicious use of drugs...
    Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
    not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
    and drag down the features of age,
    no folds or creases from unkempt wear
    eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
    no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
    but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012
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