Thread: Why can't new parents shut up about their kids?

You're definitely not alone. Long ago my wife and I decided not to have children and we've noticed that while we do have very good freinds who have children, our closests friends are couples who don't have kids.

Here's a cool website for the non-breeders:

http://www.childfreebychoice.com/

Originally Posted by NeilPearson

My wife and I are in our mid 30s so I have seen this pattern many times...

We get to be good friends with a couple and then they get pregnant after that we ALWAYS grow apart and the friendship pretty much ends.

So the latest one... she tells us she is pregnant so I say (half jokingly), "Well it's been nice knowing you guys". She laughed it off but in reality I know it is just a matter of time. Now she is only 3 months pregnant but she is already completely annoying. She still works out with my wife but says she can't do half of the exercises due to her condition... and then she complains that she isn't getting a good enough work out.

Every five minutes, the conversation always comes back to kids, or getting fat, or looking at her latest ultrasound pictures or kids clothes. It is sooo incredibly annoying. I can't imagine how bad it will be by the time the kid actually pops out.

Oh well, time to look for new friends again.

They talk about it because it's something existing for them.

It doesn't sound like your wife's every been pregnant. Well, you probably wouldn't know this, but some pregnant woman practically go insane.

When I was 18, I worked at a restaurant. I was tending the register when this pregnant woman (of at least 8 months) walks up and wants to pay her check. She gives me a $20 to pay her bill and to change in the form of a 10, a 5, and 5 ones back. I try to explain to her that if use the $20 to pay for her meal that I won't be able to also give her the change that she wanted. She starts to yell at me. Nothing that I said could get through to her.

Then the husband walks over. He was about 6'3" and well over 250 pounds. In a gruff voice he said "I'll take care of this honey, go wait in the car." The woman smiled at me smugly and left.

The man turns to me, and in a the most contrite voice I'd ever heard, started to profusely apologize. He takes the change for the $20, gives me another $20 to break, apologizes a few more times, and then left.

Oh, and if a pregnant woman tries to lift too much weight, they can cause the placenta to detach for the uterus.

Originally Posted by DOMS

They talk about it because it's something existing for them.

It doesn't sound like your wife's every been pregnant. Well, you probably wouldn't know this, but some pregnant woman practically go insane.

When I was 18, I worked at a restaurant. I was tending the register when this pregnant woman (of at least 8 months) walks up and wants to pay her check. She gives me a $20 to pay her bill and to change in the form of a 10, a 5, and 5 ones back. I try to explain to her that if use the $20 to pay for her meal that I won't be able to also give her the change that she wanted. She starts to yell at me. Nothing that I said could get through to her.

Then the husband walks over. He was about 6'3" and well over 250 pounds. In a gruff voice he said "I'll take care of this honey, go wait in the car." The woman smiled at me smugly and left.

The man turns to me, and in a the most contrite voice I'd ever heard, started to profusely apologize. He takes the change for the $20, gives me another $20 to break, apologizes a few more times, and then left.

Oh, and if a pregnant woman tries to lift too much weight, they can cause the placenta to detach for the uterus.

I think the most I've ever seen her lift was benching 30 pounds... and squats with zero weight... not even the bar

Originally Posted by NeilPearson

I think the most I've ever seen her lift was benching 30 pounds... and squats with zero weight... not even the bar

Then it's probably a lack of energy or comfort. She obviously wants to workout hard, but probably just can't do it physically right now. It must be frustrating to her.

She has legitimate problems which you seem to be berating her for.

And regarding losing friends who have children, it makes sense.

Good friends are usually people that you have something in common with. Be it a job, a hobby, or practically anything. When they have children, those children become a central part of their lives. You are having a problem with it; how do you think they feel when you can't relate to something so important to them? It's not easy for you or them.

People change, relationships dissolve, and almost nothing lasts forever (or even a lifetime).

Originally Posted by DOMS

Then it's probably a lack of energy or comfort. She obviously wants to workout hard, but probably just can't do it physically right now. It must be frustrating to her.

No she is just a drama queen

Originally Posted by NeilPearson

No she is just a drama queen

Which is amplified x10 because she is pregnant. I feel ya.

Maybe because the birth and life of a child is supposed to be an awesome thing.

I do understand where you're coming from but come'on. Bringing a life into this world trumps everything or at least so I'm told.

Originally Posted by DOMS

They talk about it because it's something existing for them.

It doesn't sound like your wife's every been pregnant. Well, you probably wouldn't know this, but some pregnant woman practically go insane.

When I was 18, I worked at a restaurant. I was tending the register when this pregnant woman (of at least 8 months) walks up and wants to pay her check. She gives me a $20 to pay her bill and to change in the form of a 10, a 5, and 5 ones back. I try to explain to her that if use the $20 to pay for her meal that I won't be able to also give her the change that she wanted. She starts to yell at me. Nothing that I said could get through to her.

Then the husband walks over. He was about 6'3" and well over 250 pounds. In a gruff voice he said "I'll take care of this honey, go wait in the car." The woman smiled at me smugly and left.

The man turns to me, and in a the most contrite voice I'd ever heard, started to profusely apologize. He takes the change for the $20, gives me another $20 to break, apologizes a few more times, and then left.

Oh, and if a pregnant woman tries to lift too much weight, they can cause the placenta to detach for the uterus.

Insane? Maybe trying to shortchange you.

Originally Posted by Brachiisaurus

Insane? Maybe trying to shortchange you.

No, she was nuts.

Originally Posted by largepkg

Maybe because the birth and life of a child is supposed to be an awesome thing.

I do understand where you're coming from but come'on. Bringing a life into this world trumps everything or at least so I'm told.

That's a lie parents tell themselves and others to justify their fuck up.

Every time she comes over, I turn on Nanny 911 for an example of the bliss of motherhood

I couldn't imagine a greater experience then my two boys.

Sure some people don't want kids, and that is fine.

I would just figure as friends you would be supportive and happy about there excitement.

To each there own

Originally Posted by NeilPearson

That's a lie parents tell themselves and others to justify their fuck up.

Sounds like you don't want kids, no biggie. Do whatever floats your boat.

I for one want children, and expect my friends to treat me no differently. When all my friends had children I was there to support them. That's what friends do.

Originally Posted by largepkg

Sounds like you don't want kids, no biggie. Do whatever floats your boat.

I for one want children, and expect my friends to treat me no differently. When all my friends had children I was there to support them. That's what friends do.

Having kids isn't for everyone. I'm glad that people have started to learn this.

But I think it's great. From giving you kid their first taste of lemon to helping them succeed in school to enrolling them in a martial art class. It's like nothing else.

Originally Posted by IainDaniel

I couldn't imagine a greater experience then my two boys.

Sure some people don't want kids, and that is fine.

I would just figure as friends you would be supportive and happy about there excitement.

To each there own

Your statement couldnt be more right. we just had our second child 3 weeks ago...its the best experince life has to offer.

It sounds to me that original poster is an ignorant selfcentered jerk....who would want him as a friend or his wife with how they view others and then spout off about them on a public forum....zero class.

Originally Posted by Dub guy

Your statement couldnt be more right. we just had our second child 3 weeks ago...its the best experince life has to offer.

It sounds to me that original poster is an ignorant selfcentered jerk....who would want him as a friend or his wife with how they view others and then spout off about them on a public forum....zero class.

hehe, I knew I would piss off all the parents :P

Originally Posted by Dub guy

Your statement couldnt be more right. we just had our second child 3 weeks ago...its the best experince life has to offer.

It sounds to me that original poster is an ignorant selfcentered jerk....who would want him as a friend or his wife with how they view others and then spout off about them on a public forum....zero class.

Duh... why do you think I don't want kids? I am way too into myself and doing things for me to give it all up for some stupid kid who would probably just shove me off to an old folks home after I spent my entire life savings raising the little brat.

Originally Posted by NeilPearson

Duh... why do you think I don't want kids? I am way too into myself and doing things for me to give it all up for some stupid kid who would probably just shove me off to an old folks home after I spent my entire life savings raising the little brat.

OK, I'll be your huckleberry.

When your wife leaves you either by death or displeasure you'll be old, with no family and alone. Sounds like fun...

Family and friends are a support system that you seem to lack based on your posts.

Originally Posted by largepkg

OK, I'll be your huckleberry.

When your wife leaves you either by death or displeasure you'll be old, with no family and alone. Sounds like fun...

Family and friends are a support system that you seem to lack based on your posts.

You think your kids are going to look after you when you get old?

Highly unlikely... with the way most people move around now a days, your kids are much more likely to live 1000+ miles away from you than they are to take care of you.

My wife said it best when she was talking to her parents about her not having kids:

Parents: "But who is going to take care of you when you are old?"

Wife: "The same people that are going to take care of you... the people at the old folks center"

The difference is I will still have the money to afford the care.

And I have plenty of family and friends as a support system... actually more than I want usually.

Before we hop all over people and make this a kids vs no kids flamefest the OP was just expressing how things change between friends when the situation changes. My best friend (I was his best man) of several years also had a kid and moved to the suburbs in the past year. As a result I've found myself simply not wanting to hang out at their place because everything centers around the baby. It sucks, but the friendship has changed significantly as a result.

Also, any parties are now kid friendly, meaning they are totally focused on the kids running around and talking about them. Not fun for anyone who doesn't have kids and doesn't want them. Then the party is over by 8pm because the kids all have to get put to bed. As a result I just don't want to go like I used to. I prefer to show up at 8 after all the kid couples are gone and hang with the ones who want to stick around. I've found as a result I'm losing touch with many couples I used to hang out with. Life goes on.

Originally Posted by ponyboy

Before we hop all over people and make this a kids vs no kids flamefest the OP was just expressing how things change between friends when the situation changes.

That's the thing. I never intended to make it a "kids vs no kids" debate. I'm very respectful of others choices. It would seem the thread starter may not be.

My feeling on the situation is, if your friends were good friends then you work it out. Again all my friends have had children and I have none but I respect them a great deal.

Originally Posted by largepkg

That's the thing. I never intended to make it a "kids vs no kids" debate. I'm very respectful of others choices. It would seem the thread starter may not be.

My feeling on the situation is, if your friends were good friends then you work it out. Again all my friends have had children and I have none but I respect them a great deal.

I have no problem if people want to have kids. That is there business. I was just venting at being annoyed. I don't care if it is about kids or motorbikes or sports or anything. When a friend you have known for years suddenly overnight develops an interest that you really don't care about and they insist on talking about it every minute while you are together... it is just annoying.

That is all I meant to say.

Originally Posted by largepkg

Maybe because the birth and life of a child is supposed to be an awesome thing.

I do understand where you're coming from but come'on. Bringing a life into this world trumps everything or at least so I'm told.

There is nothing awesome about it. Every mammal but the platypus can do it with out thinking about it.

It is funny, because the less educated and successful you are, the more likely you will be good at pumping out more spawns.

Originally Posted by KelJu

It is funny, because the less educated and successful you are, the more likely you will be good at pumping out more spawns.

that statement has zero validity and purely your opinion.

Originally Posted by Dub guy

that statement has zero validity and purely your opinion.

Its common sense if you pay attention to the world you live in, but I'll pull some facts for you later.

Proud member of a DINK marriage here.

Neil, we'd love to hang with you and your wife if you lived close by. Finding other couples without kids is hard to come by.

Originally Posted by KelJu

There is nothing awesome about it. Every mammal but the platypus can do it with out thinking about it.

How is it not awesome?

How simple the reproduction process is yet so complicated. No matter what the species, it is an awesome and amazing experience.

Originally Posted by I Are Baboon

Proud member of a DINK marriage here.

Neil, we'd love to hang with you and your wife if you lived close by. Finding other couples without kids is hard to come by.

You wanna babysit