Thread: Passing lanes, cell phones, and brushing your teeth..

In a perfect world, people wouldn't have to say they were sorry.

But, they would anyway. Looking around, you can see a whole lot of people doing things that try the patience of those around them. This is not to say we ought not to be patient, only to say "Why tax the finite amount of patience in the world?"

You could tally up a list of things that bug you, and a list of do's and don'ts to combat them - but this would take much time and make you a fascist. Rather, we need only increase our awareness of the effect we have on the people around us. It's all about communication, folks.

Let us take, for example, cellular telephones (Apple - I'm still waiting for my free iPhone. Don't you read my blogs?). These modern marvels are a boon of convenience and safety to society, but can communicate volumes on how you view the world around you.

Picture this: You are sitting in a restaurant and your phone rings, playing a tune you feel is great. You look at the phone to see who is calling. It takes you a moment to read it, another to decide if you should answer, all the while allowing it to continue playing aloud.

You decide to answer, but the person on the other end is somewhere loud and you have to speak up. Now, that call may be important to you, but here's what you are communicating to the entire restaurant:

"To hell with you all and whatever kind of day you had. I'm interrupting your nice meal, date, whatever, because I'm more important than all of you. Fuck you all for trying to have a nice time in public. This is MY public, and screw you."

If this is indeed what you are trying to say, I'm not too worried about you. Somewhere, someday, you'll step over the line in front of the wrong guy and he'll beat the crap out if (of) you. Three or four more sound beatings and you'll straighten right out, or at least be afraid to go out in public because for some reason people like to beat you up.

Here is what you are saying to whoever is dining with you: "I hate you. Sit there like an idiot while I talk to someone else and ignore you even though you are sitting directly in front of me." Guys, if a girl you are buying dinner for answers her phone at the table and says anything but "... sorry, I have to go. I'm on a great date with an amazing guy." - that's the last time you buy her dinner.

Have some pride. She doesn't like you, or respect you. You may as well like and respect yourself. If her conversation goes on at all, get the check leave her $20 for a cab and bail. Girls, if a man buying you dinner takes a call at the table, leave the table. Take your purse and coat. I'm saving you a lot of hassle. He's not that into you.

The true misfits of decency don't worry me much. I'm especially worried about the nice folks who are being inadvertently inconsiderate to those restaurants. If you are expecting a call, switch to vibrate, friend. This will allow you to know when your call is coming in without forcing everyone to hear 50 Cent's "In Da Club".

When that call comes in, and you HAVE to take it? Excuse yourself from the table. Talk outside the front door. But consider, do you NEED to be so available to phone calls for one hour? What do you want to communicate to your dining partner? Are you here to blow everyone's meal? What is your impact?

The same can be said for the freeway. If you are in the passing lane going slow, how are you ever going to know you are backing up cars behind you if you don't look in your rear view mirror? It's not just for makeup and booger checks, people. It's your last line of defense because you forgot that that page 23 of your driver's test handbook says "Slower traffic keep right, left lane is for passing."

One quick glance is all it takes to realize, "Oops. I'm being that asshole on the road who has no idea what's going on behind them." Oh, and when you do get out of people's way, try the "Sorry, my bad." wave. It works wonders on diffusing road rage.

So, when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, say to yourself, "Today I will be more aware of my effect on the world around me. I will endeavor to treat people as I would want to be treated. My communication to those around me will accurately reflect my respect, care, and understanding."

Then say, "Whoa, I better brush my teeth and shower- who wants to smell me coming a mile away? Best I scrub under these nails, too - lest I repel all in my wake."

For my part, the next time I see someone suffering in silence at a table while their meal buddy takes a long, loud call, I'm going to invite them to join my table. Screw their pal, leave him to rot there alone.

Nuts.

Not sure where it came from, but a friend of mine posted it in a blog. Thought it fit pretty well with some topics we've been discussing lately.

I keep my cell phone on vibrate all the time too... I don't really understand why people would do otherwise unless they're at home/ their cell phone's in another room.