Zen Sarcasm
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Thread: Zen Sarcasm
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05-02-2007, 03:58 PM #1I'm CEO, Bitch! ADMINISTRATOR
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Zen Sarcasm
ZEN SARCASM
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,
for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much
leave me the hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your
neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of
car payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their
shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you
have their shoes.
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to
fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
probably worth it.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and
put it back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark
side, and it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a
laxative on the same night
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05-02-2007, 04:24 PM #2Registered User
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05-02-2007, 04:26 PM #3Registered User
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My favorites:
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their
shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you
have their shoes.
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05-02-2007, 04:29 PM #4Succinct ELITE MEMBER
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05-02-2007, 07:25 PM #5Super Moderator SUPER MODERATOR
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Gotta love #22
Motivation Bench form Charles Poliquin When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. Lao-Tzu
Disclaimer: All health, fitness, diet, nutrition, anabolic steroid & supplement information posted here is intended for educational and informational purposes only, and is not intended as a substitute for proper medical advice from a medical doctor. We do not condone the use of anabolic steroids (AAS), all information about AAS is for educational and entertainment purposes only. If you choose to use AAS it's your responsibility to know the laws of the country that you live in. Consult your physician or health care professional before performing any of the exercises, or following any diet, nutrition or supplement advice described on this website.
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05-02-2007, 07:28 PM #6Metrosexual ELITE MEMBER
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I like this version better:
Originally Posted by Prince
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.So many cries of inequality stem from one of group
of people doing little or nothing and then bitching
about another group that actually does something
to improve their lives.
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05-02-2007, 11:23 PM #7Registered User
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I need to make this one into a shirt.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
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05-03-2007, 10:02 PM #8I'm CEO, Bitch! ADMINISTRATOR
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many people could use this advice. Originally Posted by emitecaps
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05-04-2007, 06:59 AM #9Ronnie Coleman RULES! ELITE MEMBER
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Fucking funny.
]
If you always do what you've always done, you will always get what you always got.
12-12-2002, 07:24 PM Robert DiMaggio
just think if we deleted the two word only thread, the post whore thread, etc., then their post counts would drop to about half!
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05-04-2007, 08:56 AM #10Founder of GOSB SUPER MODERATOR
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Yep! Originally Posted by Mudge
Gotta love #22
Disclaimer: All health, fitness, diet, nutrition, anabolic steroid & supplement information posted here is intended for educational and informational purposes only, and is not intended as a substitute for proper medical advice from a medical doctor. We do not condone the use of anabolic steroids (AAS), all information about AAS is for educational and entertainment purposes only. If you choose to use AAS it's your responsibility to know the laws of the country that you live in. Consult your physician or health care professional before performing any of the exercises, or following any diet, nutrition or supplement advice described on this website.
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05-04-2007, 02:46 PM #11Bohemian Extraordinaire ELITE MEMBER
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They all remind me of my most favorite quipper of all time....
Women should be obscene and not heard. Groucho MarxCoarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
and drag down the features of age,
no folds or creases from unkempt wear
eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012
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