Thread: Do you avoid women with kids?

Nothing against having kids, or getting involved with a woman with one, but fuck no.

Just because I'm not ready for the responsibility of dealing with kids, i'm still young and reckless, It's not (yet) in my personality. Besides, you'll always come second to the kid - understandable, but not what i'd want.

Seeing as I am 20, yes.

Originally Posted by goob

Nothing against having kids, or getting involved with a woman with one, but fuck no.

Just because I'm not ready for the responsibility of dealing with kids, i'm still young and reckless, It's not (yet) in my personality. Besides, you'll always come second to the kid - understandable, but not what i'd want.

BINGO. Wow, goob, you hit that point on the very first post.

Lots of males, (maybe everyone on here) always seem to get girls that treat their bfriends (you guys) like they are the most important thing in the world. Call it co-dependant, pathetic, doesnt matter right now, but I havent had it that much. I have, however, had some in the recent past and its..well, passed me by, so I kind of appreciate it now that its came and gone. Now that I value it, I look for it.

BUT.

With every girl running around with kids, that kind of priority shit is now RARE. You cant be number 1 and if you are, its demented.

Not to mention, every girl feels unappreciated from their past ex's not giving them credit for their attention.

Personally, ive never dated a girl with a toddler, but I have dated an older woman that had older kids. That was ok.

On a side not, I always want to say something to some friends of mine that have kids. I am no father, so what parent skill do I have? However, I have to fight back arguments so badly when I hear a 3 year old saying the words fuck and bitch without the mother showing any sort of discipline (sp?). Or how about the damn kids being up passed 9pm?

Sorry, but dating that shit sucks.

Originally Posted by fufu

Seeing as I am 20, yes.

True Story!!!!

When I was 19 I was keen for this girl that had a boy under 1, another boy who was 2 to a different dad and now is having another baby. I wanted to be with her, kinda lucky that didn't work out or I would have been in for alot of fun, especially when I decide to have kids.

Ya know, not necessarily....

It's certainly not a turn off to me by any means to me and kids seem to gravitate to me. In fact there was this girl that hung out with an old roommate of mine, cute girl and she had a cute little daughter. When we would all go out together putting her in my lap and having me sing to her was the only thing that would keep her from doing back flips all over the restaurant. I never pursued it simply because I didn't care for the woman all that much, but I defintely considered it and her having a child had no bearing on my decision.

I kinda like the fact that I would always be 2nd to the kid because if I wasn't, the woman isn't worth being with in the first place, plus I love my privacy and this would be a great bargaining tool at times.

"Ok, you take your daughter to her grandmother's and I'll go to the bar with AKIRA."

Hah, thats actually how my appreciation was created. When I first dated a woman with kids, I thought about all the fun I could have while she was stuck at home. Well, she still made it out. She would leave her house in the middle of the night to come and have sex with me. ANY NIGHT. Her sister lived with her so she was the emergency person had something went wrong.

Anyway, I fucked that relationship all up, but I trucked on. When I started getting close to the next one and the next one, I expected the same attention I had with the first mommy, but no. They could never come over in the middle of the night. Next thing I know, they are missing fun nights out with me, along with fun days at the beach.

I then realized that being with a mommy can make you feel really old really quick.

...unless she has a babysitter, but even still, where would the relationship end up?

from a woman's perspective... a woman should put her kids first and if you find one willing to put some guy she's screwing above her kids you are dating a lousy mom aka a loser. if i liked a guy n he neglected his kids for me i'd lose respect for him. also kids do not need to see mommy having a string of casual affairs. i know women that screw around after becoming a mom and trust me the kids do notice and they do care.

i think dating a woman with the responsibility of her kids added to the equation is for grown up, ready to settle down men. and there is also the huge risk that she doesn't want any more kids and, just my opinion, but i would think if you want a child of your own that could be really hard to deal with.

my kids father, after we got divorced, thanked me for being a good mother and the peace of mind it gave him that i was unlike a lot of the women he was meeting that would "leave her kids with anyone just to go out"

avoid moms unless you want something serious and the party boy days are behind you.

I have not yet decided yet if my next wife will have kids or not.

With kids we would be blessed with the privilege of helping them grow up, and all the great moments that gives us as parents.

Without kids we could drop our shit for a 3 day weekend and blow off to the south of Italy, settle in to a B&B and eat room service and fuck the moments away to the back-drop of the Apennine Mountain, or dip into the Florida coast and spend the week-end scuba diving. Cabo San Lucas ... I can easily hit that for a three day weekend. With kids? Nah-ah.

Bone, thats an interesting comparison. I also think of your age vs mine (27). In which scenario would I gain more? Which one would I lose more?

Raising kids while your young nets you activites you can do with them.
Traveling when youre young can be wonderful too, plus it makes settling down that much more desirable.

Little, the woman I dated was 34-35 and I was 24-25. She said I woudl eventually want to have kids and she wasnt going to do it. At the time, I didnt care and Is till dont care about having kids...but I dont predict the future. I know I dont want certain things that hold me back like kids or marriage. However, she knew that there was a possibility to change and I think thats why she hasnt looked back.

I honestly cant remember how we broke up. I mean, I dont even remember a day of breaking up...a phone call...nothing. Thats real fucking odd.

Now she has been screwing a guy thats rich, has kids, and wont get divorced cuz of finacial reasons. Last time I heard, he hadnt even introduced my ex to his kids...and theyve been dating for years now.

She passed me up for that? But jesus, i cant even remember if we broke up.

when my kids are grown, my youngest is 9 now, i want to travel so it's the same for women too. i think i'd be very hesitant to get involved with someone with young children or a career that would get in the way of what i'll have waited 24 years to do by then.

Originally Posted by BoneCrusher

I have not yet decided yet if my next wife will have kids or not.

With kids we would be blessed with the privilege of helping them grow up, and all the great moments that gives us as parents.

Without kids we could drop our shit for a 3 day weekend and blow off to the south of Italy, settle in to a B&B and eat room service and fuck the moments away to the back-drop of the Apennine Mountain, or dip into the Florida coast and spend the week-end scuba diving. Cabo San Lucas ... I can easily hit that for a three day weekend. With kids? Nah-ah.

depends on what you want the most deep down tho. after Ty is of age i'm looking to spend at least a yr in italy, hit cambodia and so on n so on. it's more important to me than a relationship and if the person i'm with can't come i'm going alone.

Originally Posted by Little Wing

depends on what you want the most deep down tho. after Ty is of age i'm looking to spend at least a yr in italy, hit cambodia and so on n so on. it's more important to me than a relationship and if the person i'm with can't come i'm going alone.

Better try cambodia soon. In the not to distant future it is going to become very touristy. The days of hard travel and 'seeing' the real cambodia are fading into the sunset. A new dawn awaits....

I'd like to think the wealth that the tourist trade will bring in will reflect to the largely povery stricken demographic, but it's highly unlikely.

I can and will speak from experience, I have dated 2 women with kids. And I have married the second of the 2 women that had kids. I think I fell in love with her daughter before I fell in love with her. I do love kids in general however, I actually adopted her as mine a few years ago since her sperm donor is completly out of the picture anyways. I would change what I did, not even for a minute!

Originally Posted by AKIRA

Bone, thats an interesting comparison. I also think of your age vs mine (27). In which scenario would I gain more? Which one would I lose more?

Raising kids while your young nets you activites you can do with them.
Traveling when youre young can be wonderful too, plus it makes settling down that much more desirable.

Little, the woman I dated was 34-35 and I was 24-25. She said I woudl eventually want to have kids and she wasnt going to do it. At the time, I didnt care and Is till dont care about having kids...but I dont predict the future. I know I dont want certain things that hold me back like kids or marriage. However, she knew that there was a possibility to change and I think thats why she hasnt looked back.

I honestly cant remember how we broke up. I mean, I dont even remember a day of breaking up...a phone call...nothing. Thats real fucking odd.

Now she has been screwing a guy thats rich, has kids, and wont get divorced cuz of finacial reasons. Last time I heard, he hadnt even introduced my ex to his kids...and theyve been dating for years now.

She passed me up for that? But jesus, i cant even remember if we broke up.

It's really hard for single mums to truust men enough to want to have kids with them after being hurt and or left alone with the child or children or they already have.. at least for myy self with out being extreemely choosey anyway.. and imo, too often and sadly, it's thenn that a women will often sacrifice her reeal happiness in a relationship as a trade off for a reasonable prospect of financial security.. whiich always some time or other or over and over again presents as an option and which the kid quietly also notices and becomes helpless twd because they too 've noted the hardships of being raised by one ( hurt ) parent trying to keep it together for them both or all and make ends meet ( and maybe not make a similar mistake about at least somme of where we screwed up ) on their own when clearly they weren't set up to do that alone ... not alot of men are realstic in getting that about us.. we f*cked up .. and we're cautious and we're cautious and we're probably a harder pull than alot of other women... some us who it didn't turn desperate anyway.


As far as shooting off somewhere on a spur of the moment trip though, routine aside, if I personally felt like I might want to do that, even if it was for me going to be as a chance to bond over and catch up on or build on some well deserved sexual fun with my partner providing it was a long term relationship we were planning on having where we were shooting to create and share a life together.. I would stiill take my kid - if she wanted to come - and I'd probably prefer she did rather than leave her all the time while I ran off for sex at the expense of keeping her involved in my life and being there in hers with her.. the only difference being that I'd be mindful that she wouldn't have as much of my attention or time then as she normally might and plan the trip around a whole other bunch of things that I might think she'd like to do.. or let her invite a friend and give them their own room.. or book a villa with a self-contained sub-section they could hang out in.. she's a whole other fun at times on trips like that anyway... like supporting her to have cool trip of her own by meeting up and doing a meal or a chat and sharing a laugh or buzz shee had or something .. or suggesting something new she might want to try and getting a mummy buzz that she's growing her character .. I like helping her to have a good time aswell.. if that doesn't happen then I don't enjoy it myyself as much anyway for having become a parent who neglects my kid. If men can't appreciate and liike that about being with me, let alone expect me to do that just to be with them, then my daughter I have an alright time without them anyway most of the time.. as i do hanging out with my neices and nephews or other ppls kids when we happen to find ourselves in the same space .. I don't consider them a burden to be around .. although during sex it could be tricky .

It's really hard being a single mum .. especially when you meet hot men that otherwise things 'd be pretty peachy and you could do morally corrupt with .. because no one else is getting hurt.. but just becauuse a guy's hot and we might otherwise really not mind have as much hot and dirty sex with ( one of ) them as we could .. that doesn't just automatically mean they're good enough tooo actually be with or have kids with!!... .. they seem to miss that . Bee the man who she deserves to be with??.. Lol

Blooming tianshi lotus.

Originally Posted by Double D

I can and will speak from experience, I have dated 2 women with kids. And I have married the second of the 2 women that had kids. I think I fell in love with her daughter before I fell in love with her. I do love kids in general however, I actually adopted her as mine a few years ago since her sperm donor is completly out of the picture anyways. I would change what I did, not even for a minute!

I can totally see that. Something very similar happened to me. Too bad that sweet little girl's mom was a piece of trash....

Awesome of you btw to adopt her. I knew you were a good man DD!!

Thank you. It didnt take anything at all! The piece of shit sperm donor didnt even show up to the court house the day they issued him a supena. He is a complete piece of trash. But it has worked out best for me. The fact she is not biologically mine means absolutly nothing at all. I have 2 kids right now and 1 on the way and I love her just as much as the other one who is here now. Nothing could ever change that. Shes an awesome little person and she couldnt be anymore sweeter!

good thread

Originally Posted by Double D

Thank you. It didn't take anything at all! The piece of shit sperm donor didn't even show up to the court house the day they issued him a subpoena. He is a complete piece of trash. But it has worked out best for me. The fact she is not biologically mine means absolutely nothing at all. I have 2 kids right now and 1 on the way and I love her just as much as the other one who is here now. Nothing could ever change that. Shes an awesome little person and she couldn't be anymore sweeter!

Hug 'em and don't ever let 'em go. Make sure they know with every spec of their being that you love them with every spec of yours. It will mater big time in their teens ... when the only influence you have over them is through their love and respect for you.

They are lucky and blessed to have you ... as you are them

Thank you BC. I definitly tell them everyday I love em. I do believe that my wife thinks I may do it a bit much, but thats the way I grew up. My parents always let me know how they feel and I do the same with mine. Theres no doubt they know how I feel and I show NO BIAS whatsoever torward one and not the other.....

Originally Posted by Double D

Thank you BC. I definitly tell them everyday I love em. I do believe that my wife thinks I may do it a bit much, but thats the way I grew up. My parents always let me know how they feel and I do the same with mine. Theres no doubt they know how I feel and I show NO BIAS whatsoever torward one and not the other.....

I grew up the exact opposite; my parents never told me they loved me, which is why I make sure to tell my little brothers every night I am able to tuck them in and which is also why I will be doing the same with my kids in the future.

Life gets funny and kind of changes everything when you start loving kids , even when they arre you're brothers or sisters. It's a sweethearted and imo pretty grown up thing to take on . good on you .

Blooming tianshi lotus.

Originally Posted by KentDog

I grew up the exact opposite; my parents never told me they loved me, which is why I make sure to tell my little brothers every night I am able to tuck them in and which is also why I will be doing the same with my kids in the future.

my mom never said it either and it's devastating. i don't remember her ever even touching me as a child. now Tesla is almost 16 n still sits on my lap n i never miss a day telling my kids i love them. i don't understand how some people cannot enjoy their kids. i seriously think some of the best "parenting" out there comes from people who opt not to have kids when they recognize they don't have the desire or ability to give a child all they need.

I agreee. After becoming a single mum, that was kind of me. then I met a man and had lots of pretty hot unprotected sex with him and maybe a month in, since he didn't want to stop seeing me decided we'd subconsciously decided to allow ourselves to be vulnerable to that .. so not beeing in that kind of life position ourselves where we had time and long term cash enough from the right means maybe .. to be good influences on any potential kids,.. it's nice to be able to step back and know what there might be something to set up life differently for and a way to do it. It's nice to know oneself to care to take care with babies lives and hearts.
..for me it is anyway .

Blooming tianshi lotus.

Women with kids put out, that is one demographic I don't want to purge from the dating pool. With the spread of crotch rot, the pool gets shallower and shallower every year.

I wouldn't say I would avoid them, but its not plus IMO.

I think any man in his right mind would agree that it's better to be with a woman that does not have a child, like a friend of mine explained to me:'' It's aweful, everytime you see that kid, it's a reminder that she, the woman that you love, has been f*cked by another man and he came inside of her!''...Lol
But I must admit, if the girl was hot as hell, who cares if she had a young little child? I know of this guy who is butt-ugly (although he thinks he is all that) and he hooked up with this beautiful skinny model-type young girl who has a baby...In my opinion, he got way lucky!

Originally Posted by Little Wing

my mom never said it either and it's devastating. i don't remember her ever even touching me as a child. now Tesla is almost 16 n still sits on my lap n i never miss a day telling my kids i love them. i don't understand how some people cannot enjoy their kids. i seriously think some of the best "parenting" out there comes from people who opt not to have kids when they recognize they don't have the desire or ability to give a child all they need.

Good post, LW. I agree that it is devastating, never receiving any affection from the parents. With myself, I've never felt like a son as much as a financial burden. When I'm completely independent and out on my own, which will be soon, I can't see myself visiting or talking to my parents much unless it's to talk or see my little brothers or to let them know I'm doing well (financially).