Reply With QuoteWhy did Hitler kill himself?
Cause he got his gas bill.
the effed up joke thread =)
Results 1 to 30 of 41
Thread: the effed up joke thread =)
-
08-14-2007, 02:09 PM #1Preved Medved! ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- May 2003
- Location
- Brooklyn
- Posts
- 947
- Rep Points
- 902073
the effed up joke thread =)
Heres' mine
Q: How many times does a baby spin in a microwave before it explodes?
A: I dunno. Always too busy masturbating to notice.
-
08-14-2007, 02:16 PM #2Amor Fati
- Join Date
- Jul 2002
- Posts
- 4,231
- Rep Points
- 2829338
"The greatest obstacle to knowledge is not ignorance but the illusion of knowledge." -Barry Marshall, Nobel Laureate
-
08-14-2007, 05:08 PM #3Lift or Die ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- Jul 2004
- Location
- Austin Texas
- Posts
- 8,588
- Rep Points
- 3434652
Q:What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew?
A: A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.
-
08-14-2007, 05:53 PM #4Registered User
- Join Date
- Jan 2006
- Location
- Pacific Northwest
- Posts
- 5,360
- Rep Points
- 28016594
Q. Why did the fish get kicked out of school?
A. Cause he was caught with seaweed.
-
08-14-2007, 06:43 PM #5Amor Fati
- Join Date
- Jul 2002
- Posts
- 4,231
- Rep Points
- 2829338
Eff'ed up not stupid jokes...jeesh.
Q. What'd Jesus Christ say to the pollacks?
A. Play dumb till I get back.
Q. How was copper wire invented?
A. Two Jews fighting over a penny."The greatest obstacle to knowledge is not ignorance but the illusion of knowledge." -Barry Marshall, Nobel Laureate
-
08-14-2007, 06:43 PM #6Amor Fati
- Join Date
- Jul 2002
- Posts
- 4,231
- Rep Points
- 2829338
Last one:
What'd Hitler say to the black jews?
Go to the back of the oven! *rim shot*"The greatest obstacle to knowledge is not ignorance but the illusion of knowledge." -Barry Marshall, Nobel Laureate
-
08-14-2007, 06:53 PM #7Registered User
- Join Date
- Feb 2007
- Posts
- 4,763
- Rep Points
- 2003677
lol. whats the difference between a jew and a canoe?
a canoe tips.
a jew with a boner walks into a wall.
what hits first?
his nose.
-
08-14-2007, 07:44 PM #8God has graced us again
- Join Date
- Mar 2005
- Location
- Chicagoland
- Posts
- 2,354
- Rep Points
- 13432368
That is the greatest joke ever
Originally Posted by iMan323
I drive a big truck
-
08-14-2007, 08:10 PM #9Registered User
- Join Date
- Jul 2007
- Gender
- Location
- northwest
- Posts
- 1,716
- Rep Points
- 8136875
whats worse than paper tits?
a cardboard box.
why do all polish last names end in "ski"?
because they cant spell taboggan"katt's spotter"
" its not how much u can benchpress. its how much other people think u can." bob chicherillo
-
08-14-2007, 08:25 PM #10Lift or Die ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- Jul 2004
- Location
- Austin Texas
- Posts
- 8,588
- Rep Points
- 3434652
NSFW Originally Posted by the other half
-
08-14-2007, 08:28 PM #11your sisters better
- Join Date
- Jan 2007
- Location
- michigan
- Posts
- 1,143
- Rep Points
- 287427
Q:how many babys can you fit into a telephone booth?
A: depends on how you slice them5'7" 173lbsl squat:365x2 11/19/07 bench 225x3 1/11/08
40 time: 4.51sec march 10th 07
38" vertical
-
08-14-2007, 08:31 PM #12Registered User
- Join Date
- Feb 2007
- Posts
- 4,763
- Rep Points
- 2003677
baby jokes arent really funy
-
08-14-2007, 08:34 PM #13your sisters better
- Join Date
- Jan 2007
- Location
- michigan
- Posts
- 1,143
- Rep Points
- 287427
depends on how fucked up in the head you are Originally Posted by danny81
5'7" 173lbsl squat:365x2 11/19/07 bench 225x3 1/11/08
40 time: 4.51sec march 10th 07
38" vertical
-
08-14-2007, 08:34 PM #14Lift or Die ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- Jul 2004
- Location
- Austin Texas
- Posts
- 8,588
- Rep Points
- 3434652
funNy
-
08-14-2007, 08:47 PM #15Registered User
- Join Date
- Feb 2007
- Posts
- 4,763
- Rep Points
- 2003677
yah funny.
-
08-14-2007, 11:23 PM #16Peelosopher
- Join Date
- Feb 2003
- Posts
- 6,386
- Rep Points
- 54467411
Q: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
A: Nothing. You already told her twice.
Q: Why'd the woman cross the road?
A: Who cares? Why isn't she in the kitchen?
-
08-14-2007, 11:26 PM #17Amor Fati
- Join Date
- Jul 2002
- Posts
- 4,231
- Rep Points
- 2829338
Lol okay, i have some.
Q. What did the battered wife do when she got home from the hospital?
A. Wash the dishes if she knows whats good for her.
Q. Whats easier, loading a truck full of babies or bowling balls and why?
A. The babies cause you can use a pitchfork."The greatest obstacle to knowledge is not ignorance but the illusion of knowledge." -Barry Marshall, Nobel Laureate
-
08-15-2007, 07:44 AM #18Registered User
- Join Date
- Jul 2007
- Gender
- Location
- northwest
- Posts
- 1,716
- Rep Points
- 8136875
thanks bone, i will never be able to look at a young mother with an infant child the same agian!!!!!!!
"katt's spotter"
" its not how much u can benchpress. its how much other people think u can." bob chicherillo
-
08-15-2007, 07:54 AM #19Magical Apelikemenace ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- Mar 2005
- Location
- New Delhi, India
- Posts
- 14,427
- Rep Points
- 10917694
Daughter: Dad I want to have a talk with you about sex, is it as big a deal as everyone says?
Father: You aren't ready for that, what did you want to know?
Daughter: My boyfriend Tommy said if I dont have sex wih him he'll leave me.
Father: Then he isn't worth your time.
Daughter: Tommy says he doesn't want to "DO IT" just so he can brag... He wants to experiment, to see what it feels like.
Father: Well then, bring him over to the house Friday night and I'll fuck him.
Have Problems?... Chances are its due to overpopulation
Save The Oceans, Save the Planet, Save Your Family, Save Yourself!
-
08-15-2007, 10:23 AM #20Lift or Die ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- Jul 2004
- Location
- Austin Texas
- Posts
- 8,588
- Rep Points
- 3434652
effed up isn't it? Originally Posted by the other half
thanks bone, i will never be able to look at a young mother with an infant child the same agian!!!!!!!
-
08-15-2007, 10:30 AM #21Registered User
- Join Date
- Jul 2007
- Location
- Washington, DC
- Posts
- 22
- Rep Points
- 10
A dyslexic man walks into a bra...
-
08-15-2007, 10:45 AM #22Peelosopher
- Join Date
- Feb 2003
- Posts
- 6,386
- Rep Points
- 54467411
greatest thread ever
-
08-16-2007, 05:52 AM #23Registered User
- Join Date
- Jun 2006
- Posts
- 1,285
- Rep Points
- 737152
a man phones his boss and says
"i wont be in today im sick"
his boss replies
"How sick ?"
man says
"well im in bed with my sister"When you play for Celtic forget the Jersey forget the club, your playing for a people and a cause.
-
08-16-2007, 12:35 PM #24Amor Fati
- Join Date
- Jul 2002
- Posts
- 4,231
- Rep Points
- 2829338
A redneck's daughter walks up to him and asks him to borrow the pick up for the evening.
"well you know what to do," says the man.
the daughter drops to her knees and starts sucking him off. After a couple of seconds, she stops and asks, why does you dick taste like shit?
"Oh! I completely forgot, your brother has the car tonight!""The greatest obstacle to knowledge is not ignorance but the illusion of knowledge." -Barry Marshall, Nobel Laureate
-
08-16-2007, 01:26 PM #25Metrosexual ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- Jul 2004
- Location
- In a van, down by the river...
- Posts
- 28,876
- Rep Points
- 922623595
Not the correct media, but I'm posting it anyway, rather than making a new thread.
So many cries of inequality stem from one of group
of people doing little or nothing and then bitching
about another group that actually does something
to improve their lives.
-
08-16-2007, 01:27 PM #26Metrosexual ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- Jul 2004
- Location
- In a van, down by the river...
- Posts
- 28,876
- Rep Points
- 922623595
How do you know when it's bedtime at Micheal Jackson's house?
When the big hand is on the little hand.So many cries of inequality stem from one of group
of people doing little or nothing and then bitching
about another group that actually does something
to improve their lives.
-
08-16-2007, 01:30 PM #27Metrosexual ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- Jul 2004
- Location
- In a van, down by the river...
- Posts
- 28,876
- Rep Points
- 922623595
Did you hear that Micheal Jackson and Elton John are producing a song together?
It's call Don't Let Your Son Go Down On Me.So many cries of inequality stem from one of group
of people doing little or nothing and then bitching
about another group that actually does something
to improve their lives.
-
08-16-2007, 04:54 PM #28Smartass anthropologist ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- Apr 2006
- Location
- Anywhere, everywhere, nowhere....
- Posts
- 5,999
- Rep Points
- 14780903
Q)What do you call a room full of women, , half with yeast infections,half with PMS?
A) A cheese and whine party.
What's the definition of a perfect woman?
a) Three feet tall with a round hole for a mouth and a flat head so that you can put a pint of beer on it.
b) The sports model has pullback ears and her teeth fold in.
c) The economy model fucks all night and, at midnight, turns into a roast beef sandwich and a six pack
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It was stapled to the chicken
-
08-20-2007, 09:16 PM #29Registered User
- Join Date
- Oct 2004
- Location
- Wisconsin
- Posts
- 421
- Rep Points
- 111442
I will apologize in advance for the offensive humor...
Whats similar with a screen door and a women?
The more you bang them the loser they get
FOR DOMS...
How do you keep a black man from hanging around your front yard.
Hang him in the back
How do you get a black man out of a tree?
cut the rope
Whats the difference between hitting a deer and hitting a Mexican.
There are skid marks in front of the deer.
how many jews can you fit in a volkswagon?
2 in front, 2 in back and 350 in the ashtray
what do you get when you cross an elaphant with a poodle?
a dead poodle with an 18inch asshole
What's the best thing about an Ethiopian blowjob?
you know she will swallow
Why do women take longer than men to reach orgasm?
Who cares
How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.
Why are there so many homes for battered women? Because they just don't fucking listen!!
Why do Japanese Sumo wrestlers shave their legs? So you can tell them apart from feminists
A girl is watching her father shower. She points to his penis and says, "Daddy, when will I get one of those?" He looks at his watch and says, "When your mother leaves for work!"ILLEGITIMIS CON CARBORUNDUM!!
(don't let the bastards grind you down)
I love vegetarians, they're a great source of lean protien!
-
08-20-2007, 09:29 PM #30Thats Dr. Keke to you! ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- Jul 2005
- Location
- In my imagination.
- Posts
- 13,701
- Rep Points
- 433491349
Wow! Just ....wow! That is so disturbing! Originally Posted by Yanick
“I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.”
Similar Threads
-
Joke Of The Day Thread......
By nkira in forum Open ChatReplies: 11Last Post: 02-19-2009, 03:54 PM -
The Joke Thread
By TheGreatSatan in forum Open ChatReplies: 43Last Post: 08-03-2008, 03:21 PM -
joke thread
By danny81 in forum Open ChatReplies: 13Last Post: 07-31-2007, 07:58 AM -
MJ joke thread
By ZECH in forum Open ChatReplies: 6Last Post: 11-22-2004, 12:49 PM
Posting Permissions
DISCLAIMER:
All health, fitness, diet, nutrition & supplement information presented on IronMagazineForums.com's pages is intended as an educational resource and is not intended as a substitute for proper medical advice. We do not condone the use of anabolic steroids (AAS), all information about AAS is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Consult your physician or health care professional before performing any of the exercises, or following any diet, nutrition or supplement advice described on this website. As well as any exercise technique or regimen, diet, supplement, etc., particularly if you are pregnant or nursing, or if you are elderly or have chronic or recurring medical conditions. Discontinue any exercise that causes you pain or severe discomfort and consult a medical expert. The statements made about products have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration (U.S.). They are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any condition or disease. Please consult with your own physician or health care practitioner regarding the suggestions and recommendations made at IronMagazineForums.com. Neither the author of the information, nor the producer, nor distributors of such information make any warranty of any kind in regard to the content of the information presented on this website. Except as specifically stated on this site, neither IronMagazineForums.com, nor any of its authors or other representatives will be liable for damages arising out of, or in connection with the use of this site. This is a comprehensive limitation of liability that applies to all damages of any kind, including (without limitation) compensatory, direct, indirect or consequential damages, loss of data, income or profit, loss of or damage to property and claims of third parties. Sponsors pay for advertising space, we have no affiliation with the companies that have banners displayed on our websites. Please be advised it is your responsibility to check the laws that govern your country, state, or province in regards to items offered by some companies you may read about on this site.