Have you ever

**FishOrCutBait** · 09-08-2007, 12:58 AM

just felt really alone?

**FishOrCutBait** · 09-08-2007, 01:15 AM

Originally Posted by FishOrCutBait

just really felt alone?

**tallcall** · 09-08-2007, 01:49 AM

I feel alone all the time, maybe I just got used to it

**FishOrCutBait** · 09-08-2007, 02:01 AM

Originally Posted by tallcall

I feel alone all the time, maybe I just got used to it

dude, it frickin sucks.

**tallcall** · 09-08-2007, 02:04 AM

Originally Posted by FishOrCutBait

dude, it frickin sucks.

You're telling me. Well, at least I can talk to you. What's going on?

**b_reed23** · 09-08-2007, 02:05 AM

why do you feel alone??

**tallcall** · 09-08-2007, 02:08 AM

Originally Posted by b_reed23

why do you feel alone??

Because no one truly understands how I feel everyday, and it's so hard to tell anyone, so I just feel completely separated from just about everyone.

**FishOrCutBait** · 09-08-2007, 02:12 AM

Originally Posted by tallcall

Because no one truly understands how I feel everyday, and it's so hard to tell anyone, so I just feel completely separated from just about everyone.

Nice.

Thats gotta be great.

Do you mean you just dont feel like you can relate to anybody?

**tallcall** · 09-08-2007, 02:20 AM

Originally Posted by FishOrCutBait

Nice.

Thats gotta be great.

Do you mean you just dont feel like you can relate to anybody?

That is a better way to say it, yeah. It all centered around me telling my parents that I'm gay. I just feel like I keep screwing up everything I touch. I used to hate myself for just being the way I am (I always draw attention, I'm larger than just about everyone, I have tourette's syndrome, and now I'm also gay, god what a screw-up), now it just feels so much worse. I really don't think anyone will be able to relate and because of that, I feel very isolated and alone.

**FishOrCutBait** · 09-08-2007, 02:25 AM

Originally Posted by tallcall

That is a better way to say it, yeah. It all centered around me telling my parents that I'm gay. I just feel like I keep screwing up everything I touch. I used to hate myself for just being the way I am (I always draw attention, I'm larger than just about everyone, I have tourette's syndrome, and now I'm also gay, god what a screw-up), now it just feels so much worse. I really don't think anyone will be able to relate and because of that, I feel very isolated and alone.

Shit amigo, Im sorry.

I wish I could tell you OH YEAH MAN I UNDERSTAND LOL

but, know that my heart goes out to you.

one thing to remember is that you are you.

and you need to be ok with you no matter what, because if you arent, nobody else can be.

**FishOrCutBait** · 09-08-2007, 02:32 AM

Originally Posted by tallcall

You're telling me. Well, at least I can talk to you. What's going on?

I think my girlfriend of 4 years is gonna tell me shes done.

yay.

**FishOrCutBait** · 09-08-2007, 02:44 AM

Originally Posted by FishOrCutBait

I think my girlfriend of 4 years is gonna tell me shes done.

yay.

so im pretty sure Im right.

fuck, im gonna become a monk.

**maniclion** · 09-08-2007, 03:39 AM

Originally Posted by FishOrCutBait

so im pretty sure Im right.

fuck, im gonna become a monk.

If it doesn't last then it's not meant to be. Let me tell you I didn't think I would ever find a girl who would last longer than a year, now I've been with mine almost 10 years. But I do remember the ones who got away, Misty was the first one who made me learn what lovesick was, i remember I couldn't eat, sleep, even think straight, my stomach was in knots, hell she almost made me cry and I haven't cried since I was 13 and my mother died of course I was 18 then. It sucked, the despair was intense my stomach felt like I'd swallowed a bowl of lead Cheerios, my heart made my chest feel like it was imploding. After that I told myself that I'd never feel like that again, then after if a relationship didn't work I would shrug it off and look at it as getting an upgrade then I'd find a girl better than the previous one....

**tingnting** · 09-08-2007, 05:56 AM

Have any of you guys ever felt suicidal..??

**tallcall** · 09-08-2007, 06:54 AM

Originally Posted by tingnting

Have any of you guys ever felt suicidal..??

I have, but I'm seeing a therapist for help. That was a few years ago and I stopped myself before doing anything, but sometimes, I still wish I had. I am facing depression because of the amount of criticism I take (or percieve) which is because of the fact that I hate myself for all those things I mentioned previously. Sometimes it feels like it'll just never stop. I feel so much better after I talk to my therapist, but my parents want me to stop seeing him, they think he is driving us apart. Of course they think all of this is just an obsession and that I need drugs (being gay is an obsession?). This is the reason that... well, sometimes I just don't know anymore.

**tingnting** · 09-08-2007, 07:04 AM

Originally Posted by tallcall

I have, but I'm seeing a therapist for help. That was a few years ago and I stopped myself before doing anything, but sometimes, I still wish I had. I am facing depression because of the amount of criticism I take (or percieve) which is because of the fact that I hate myself for all those things I mentioned previously. Sometimes it feels like it'll just never stop. I feel so much better after I talk to my therapist, but my parents want me to stop seeing him, they think he is driving us apart. Of course they think all of this is just an obsession and that I need drugs (being gay is an obsession?). This is the reason that... well, sometimes I just don't know anymore.

How long have you been feeling this way..??

**Little Wing** · 09-08-2007, 07:49 AM

yes and yes but i'd never do it, i just understand why people do.

**tingnting** · 09-08-2007, 08:02 AM

Originally Posted by Little Wing

yes and yes but i'd never do it, i just understand why people do.

Do you think if you had loads of money you'd feel different..??

**tallcall** · 09-08-2007, 08:27 AM

Originally Posted by tingnting

How long have you been feeling this way..??

A couple of years now.

**FishOrCutBait** · 09-08-2007, 08:52 AM

Originally Posted by maniclion

If it doesn't last then it's not meant to be. Let me tell you I didn't think I would ever find a girl who would last longer than a year, now I've been with mine almost 10 years. But I do remember the ones who got away, Misty was the first one who made me learn what lovesick was, i remember I couldn't eat, sleep, even think straight, my stomach was in knots, hell she almost made me cry and I haven't cried since I was 13 and my mother died of course I was 18 then. It sucked, the despair was intense my stomach felt like I'd swallowed a bowl of lead Cheerios, my heart made my chest feel like it was imploding. After that I told myself that I'd never feel like that again, then after if a relationship didn't work I would shrug it off and look at it as getting an upgrade then I'd find a girl better than the previous one....

I figured 4 years would be "lasting" though, i dont know.

**Little Wing** · 09-08-2007, 09:18 AM

Originally Posted by tingnting

Do you think if you had loads of money you'd feel different..??

when you are really depressed money doesn't matter. at all.

**maniclion** · 09-09-2007, 12:29 AM

Originally Posted by FishOrCutBait

I figured 4 years would be "lasting" though, i dont know.

My parents were married 9 years, nothing lasts. It takes a lot of hard work and fortitude to make a relationship last, and never let yourself be lulled into thinking it will. Always keep it in the back of your mind that if you don't make a conscious effort to keep it going it will fizzle out, just like a campfire if you don't keep it going it won't last on it's own...

**BoneCrusher** · 09-09-2007, 01:06 AM

Originally Posted by FishOrCutBait

just felt really alone?

Why are you alone? By choice or by consequence?

**KentDog** · 09-09-2007, 02:30 AM

Originally Posted by FishOrCutBait

just felt really alone?

yes but not right now! damn what an awesome last three days.. life is great! not much free time, keeping busy with school, work, and going out with friends whenever I can.. damn this campus is loaded with babes. I'm going to miss it when I graduate!

Enjoy life while you can fish! we're in the prime of our lives, don't sweat the little things and spend time with your friends whenever you can!

**KentDog** · 09-09-2007, 02:36 AM

Fish, don't tell me this is all over a girl! Dude you only feel alone because you are so used to spending so much time with her. It's for the best, you can't force a relationship! You're 18, you shouldn't even be thinking about marriage or any of that "lasting" at that age (I'm 22 and I shouldn't and don't anymore either!)! I had my heart broken over the last year and I thought this girl was the one. Dude, I'm telling you there is more than one "the ones!" I was crushed for a while, especially given the circumstances in which it ended, but the way I see it now is.. although I let myself love that selfish and dishonest girl and got walked on in return, I felt I was in love.. and I'm grateful that I've had the experience of having that feeling.. to be stupid enough to think you'd be willing to do anything for some girl, because a lot of people are not as fortunate to have experienced that in a lifetime. Dude enjoy your life! You're 18, don't look back in regret! Call your friends, spend time with your fam, and don't look for another relationship just to fill that void (if it happens it happens).

**goob** · 09-09-2007, 03:12 PM

^^^Good advice. Look forward, not backwards. There's a whole world of possibilities, people and places to explore.

**FishOrCutBait** · 09-09-2007, 05:45 PM

Originally Posted by KentDog

Fish, don't tell me this is all over a girl! Dude you only feel alone because you are so used to spending so much time with her. It's for the best, you can't force a relationship! You're 18, you shouldn't even be thinking about marriage or any of that "lasting" at that age (I'm 22 and I shouldn't and don't anymore either!)! I had my heart broken over the last year and I thought this girl was the one. Dude, I'm telling you there is more than one "the ones!" I was crushed for a while, especially given the circumstances in which it ended, but the way I see it now is.. although I let myself love that selfish and dishonest girl and got walked on in return, I felt I was in love.. and I'm grateful that I've had the experience of having that feeling.. to be stupid enough to think you'd be willing to do anything for some girl, because a lot of people are not as fortunate to have experienced that in a lifetime. Dude enjoy your life! You're 18, don't look back in regret! Call your friends, spend time with your fam, and don't look for another relationship just to fill that void (if it happens it happens).

So Im never listening to her goddamn friends again.

my girlfriend was talking to her friend, and sent me a text afterward saying that she wanted to talk to me in person

i talked to her friend on myspace, and that damn idiot told me she wasnt coming, (im moving, btw)

but when I talked to my girlfriend, she just wanted to reassure me about the whole situation.

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