Thread: And another thing . .

weird, took about 5 months to start happening, im starting to switch from daytime dreaming, back to night time dreaming

for years ive been telling people, i never dream it seems, i dont remember my dreams, fuck ive only had two dreams in the past 20+ years that ive even recalled the next morning, one was a devil dancing on a stage, the other was new york city getting nuked, you might remember that post, scary shit dat was

i never made the connection either, it must have been the pot, my dreaming cells were resin clogged or sumthin'

and my dreams are vivid too, i havent dreamed like this since i was a kid

last night i dreamed a fraternity was having a wild party, and some drunk kid pulled the stops on a railroad car, the whole train crashed into a big brick factory, and a chain reaction destroyed the whole world, i could see whole walls of bricks coming down from the sky, but lucky for me and some other folks we dived under some freeway overpasses, things really sucked at first, alot of fucking dust and stinky oily air, but... then i remembered cheesecake, yes cheesecake!!, and then we all went on a mission to eat all the cheesecake in the world before it spoiled

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oh ya, another thing while were here, thanks man

"if i can do something to help, ide like to"

i dont need to look at the log to remember, ya rock bottom and crying sucks, makes ya feel weak, pathetic, when ya look back on it though, those 5 seconds of key pressing were very cool, 20 years from now i well remember that moment

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yup......... im still an asshole, im just not a stoned asshole anymore

seriously though, not that that wasnt totally... non-serious... the real true assholes in my life are the folks still smoking and hating me for quiting, i know what they think....

- how dare you take away my fulcrum to feeling better about my shit filled life?
- how dare you give me one less slice of lies to spread my shit onto?
- how dare you not be a part of my shit sandwhich?
- how dare you take away my.... circumstantial equalization?

virtual friendship, thats all it was, i always wanted friends that didnt get high all the time, but at my age, its not easy... everyones so.... set in their circles it seems, people have made suggestions, but to be honest, i aint going to church just to make freinds, and i sure the hell aint going there as a propective believer, call me cynical but ive had enough of people saying God is what i need, what peeple call cynical.... i call reality, i got church right here anytime i want anyway, these friends dont make for real good conversation, but at least theyre pure hearts, God to me is for throwing out the window and-every-fucking-morning-its-communion-yut-huh

God i love saying that

hmmmm, looks like my 1000+ views for posts days are gone, no more hits for octocutey, im outta rotation, i guess i was more entertaining when i was up all night drinking cheap wine and getting stoned <sniff> <sniff> please dont drop my contract, i can be radio-friendly i swear please give me another chance, <sniff> <sniff> here... here... check out this gem i wrote just last night, just listen please <sniff> ... it'll only take a minute

<tuning slow strum -- fine adjust, adjust.... adjust, ok sounds good enough>

"im feeling like taking the long way home tonight
I just might turn left, fuck!... i might even turn right
and with any luck, ill find that piss-stained harbor light"

I swear CMT will love this shit, i can take the "fuck" out really, i'll put up the promotion fees myself, i'll sell my house, i'll sell my piano, please i need to a big star again, dont make me start typing in capital letters, WERE AS GOOD AS ANY OTHER BAND IN THE WORLD!

[no youre not, you dropped all your gems 16 years ago, do you remember that time back in 84 when you cancelled that show and fucked your fans because the stage was too small, that stage wasnt too small, your ego was just too big because you had a top ten hit that week, fuck you shut up]

but, but.... I'll re-record that record without all those LA writers, I take back that comment to that DJ about my top ten hit, i didnt mean it i swear, we'll make a record and call it Excitable Critters and then i'll go eat a whole fucking rain forest with my bare teeth, GIMME THE FUCKING CASH I DESERVE IT NOW NOW NOW WHY SHOULD THE FLOCK HAVE ALL THE CREDIT IT WAS JUST A FUCKING HAIRCUT GODDAMNIT!!! echo.... echo.... echo.... echo....]

[sigh, sigh, wake up sigh, youre talking in your sleep, get up.... its time to feed the chickens]

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actually the best shit was being fine-tuned, ready to be loaded up and go, a multimoniker superthread, by im not into asking for permission because i know what that will bring, fuck that, ill keep my dark gems to myself where i'll hold em and i'll squeeze them and i'll luv them like theyre my bestest wittle friends

my problem is this, i hope you will see and appreciate the honesty here, the reason im such an asshole, besides the fact that i am one, is that HZ represents one thing to me, which i definitely can identify with, and yet ultimately it is controlled by another, and to me those two ideals are at opposite poles, to me an entire world away from one another, and one isnt better or worse than the other, they are just completely different animals, and even though I may be attracted more to one end, it doesnt mean im completely repelled by the other, but I could never play nice with both beasts at the same time