22 Ways To Be A Good Liberal....

**Pirate!** · 01-19-2008, 04:44 PM

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. Nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by Soccer moms driving SUV's.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7 . You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of Federal Funding.

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it is against certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G..Bell.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked any where it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belongs in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and Manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.

21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, Right Wing Conspiracy.

22. You have to believe that it's okay to give Federal workers the day off on Christmas Day .........but it's not okay to say "Merry Christmas."

**Big Smoothy** · 01-19-2008, 05:37 PM

I am NOT a Liberal.

But please clarify:

Classical or Neo-Liberal.

And, you also need a link with valid statistics and a Standard Deviation.

Liberals disappeared around 1990.

**min0 lee** · 01-19-2008, 05:43 PM

Guess we're not liberals.

**DontStop** · 01-19-2008, 06:07 PM

I'm super supreme conservative

**largepkg** · 01-19-2008, 06:12 PM

If that's the case I think I just became an Independent

**Witchblade** · 01-19-2008, 06:16 PM

What are the general classifications in politics in the USA? Conservative VS Progressive and Liberalism VS Socialism?

Liberalism: individualism, capitalism, own responsibility

Socialism: the reverse ^

The American use of the word liberal seems opposite to what the Dutch refer to as liberal.

**tucker01** · 01-19-2008, 09:32 PM

Originally Posted by DontStop

I'm super supreme conservative

No Canadian is.

**DOMS** · 01-19-2008, 09:39 PM

"You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it."

"You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G..Bell."

My favorites.

**bio-chem** · 01-19-2008, 09:51 PM

Originally Posted by DontStop

I'm super supreme conservative

**andythegreat** · 01-19-2008, 09:57 PM

22 ways to be a good republican
1.suck fast
2.suck slow
3. use and icecube
4. use ur hands and mouth simultaneously
5.deep throat it
6.use mixed speeds
7.pull my balls while u do it.
8. go all the way down and I'll pinch ur nose shut
9.lay over then end of the bed and I'll stand
10. hands and knees and I'll stand
11.69 style
12. with a condom on
13.while your parents watch
14.while your signifigant other watches
15. on camera
16. while my parents watch
17. vertical 69 style
18.just the tip
19.from the side
20. while I sing you a lullaby
21.while you make me a sandwhich
22.swallow

That was uncalled for, lets just be friends.

**DOMS** · 01-19-2008, 10:18 PM

Originally Posted by andythegreat

22 ways to be a good republican
1.suck fast
2.suck slow
3. use and icecube
4. use ur hands and mouth simultaneously
5.deep throat it
6.use mixed speeds
7.pull my balls while u do it.
8. go all the way down and I'll pinch ur nose shut
9.lay over then end of the bed and I'll stand
10. hands and knees and I'll stand
11.69 style
12. with a condom on
13.while your parents watch
14.while your signifigant other watches
15. on camera
16. while my parents watch
17. vertical 69 style
18.just the tip
19.from the side
20. while I sing you a lullaby
21.while you make me a sandwhich
22.swallow

That was uncalled for, lets just be friends.

Did you have a seizure while typing?

**Big Smoothy** · 01-20-2008, 01:18 AM

Originally Posted by Witchblade

What are the general classifications in politics in the USA? Conservative VS Progressive and Liberalism VS Socialism?

Liberalism: individualism, capitalism, own responsibility

Socialism: the reverse ^

The American use of the word liberal seems opposite to what the Dutch refer to as liberal.

The American Center political spectrum is at a different place that Australia, Canada and Europe.

John Howard, former PM of Australia was from the Liberal party. He was a GWB clone. Rudd, current PM is from the Labor party. The Aussie spectrum is to the so-called left of the US spectrum.

I think most Americans consider those that want a universal health care system (which is not "socialized" medicine) to be liberal.

The American terms of Liberal and Conservative are very outdated.

Bill Clinton was not liberal; George W. Bush was not conservative.

Just look at their public policies. Bills they signed. Bureaucratic regulations that were created and implemented.

These terms are also confusing because there are "social conservatives" and "fiscal conservatives" are not the same in the US, IMO.

Today the US government and its politicians are basically Neo-Liberals.

Clinton and GWB are both Neo-Liberal.

**largepkg** · 01-20-2008, 07:01 AM

Originally Posted by bio-chem

My point exactly.

**brogers** · 01-20-2008, 09:58 AM

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

I found this very interesting. Think of the quality of art from centuries ago, and compare it to the crap we have today, despite all the funding for art. I had never really thought of this before.

All of those points are pretty good though. Thanks for posting

**andythegreat** · 01-20-2008, 11:33 AM

Originally Posted by DOMS

Did you have a seizure while typing?

Oh, na sorry, no seizure I was receiving a bj.

**DOMS** · 01-20-2008, 12:02 PM

Originally Posted by andythegreat

Oh, na sorry, no seizure I was receiving a bj.

Tell him to knock it off.

**andythegreat** · 01-20-2008, 12:27 PM

Originally Posted by DOMS

Tell him to knock it off.

Danny's gotta make a livin somehow.

**DOMS** · 01-20-2008, 02:26 PM

Originally Posted by andythegreat

Danny's gotta make a livin somehow.

Just make sure to watch out for the razorblades.

**andythegreat** · 01-20-2008, 02:28 PM

Originally Posted by DOMS

Just make sure to watch out for the razorblades.

hahahhahahahahaha

dammit the sneaky bastard, cut my sac open, stole my money and ran. I shoulda known there was somthin sketchy about a gangster prostitute.

**KelJu** · 01-20-2008, 02:52 PM

Most of those are true unfortunately. I think a much funnier list could be made about conservatives.

You have to be against gay rights, but you have to suck men off in restrooms.
You have to save the unborn, but you have to kill everyone else.
You have to scream travesty at man receiving a blowjob from a consenting adult, but ignore a pedophile who tried to molest underage interns.

Lawl, get me off of this. I could be stuck here all day.

**DOMS** · 01-20-2008, 02:58 PM

Originally Posted by KelJu

Most of those are true unfortunately. I think a much funnier list could be made about conservatives.

You have to be against gay rights, but you have to suck men off in restrooms.
You have to save the unborn, but you have to kill everyone else.
You have to scream travesty at man receiving a blowjob from a consenting adult, but ignore a pedophile who tried to molest underage interns.

Lawl, get me off of this. I could be stuck here all day.

Someone did make a counter list, but it was generally pathetic.

**KelJu** · 01-20-2008, 03:04 PM

Originally Posted by DOMS

Someone did make a counter list, but it was generally pathetic.

Oh snap I missed it. Actually, I think my eyes saw it, but my brain removed it from my vision so I wouldn't have to become dumber by comprehending it.

**andythegreat** · 01-20-2008, 03:05 PM

If enjoying blow jobs makes me pathetic, then I'm guilty as charged. If you would like for me to compile a real anticonservative list I'd be happy to.

**KelJu** · 01-20-2008, 03:07 PM

Originally Posted by andythegreat

If enjoying blow jobs makes me pathetic, then I'm guilty as charged.

I'm confused.

**DOMS** · 01-20-2008, 03:09 PM

Originally Posted by KelJu

I'm confused.

He works in the service industry.

**andythegreat** · 01-20-2008, 03:11 PM

Originally Posted by KelJu

I'm confused.

that sho is a right pert little cat you got in that picture, what kinda name is suitin to be called of such a cat?

**KelJu** · 01-20-2008, 03:12 PM

Originally Posted by andythegreat

that sho is a right pert little cat you got in that picture, what kinda name is suitin to be called of such a cat?

Thank you, my cat is named Jack. Do I smell a insult coming for having a cat?

**andythegreat** · 01-20-2008, 03:14 PM

no, I just felt like randomly going slingblade for a minute. It is a nice specimen of a cat though. lol

**KelJu** · 01-20-2008, 03:26 PM

Originally Posted by andythegreat

no, I just felt like randomly going slingblade for a minute. It is a nice specimen of a cat though. lol

Thank you very much. Jack is a rescue kitty from shelter.

**clemson357** · 01-20-2008, 03:29 PM

23. You have to be pro-choice when it comes to aborting your unborn child, but anti-choice when it comes to your retirement, your health insurance, your ability to defend yourself against criminal attack, your education, and your rights to your own salary.

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