Thread: My girlfriend is being followed and watched by her ex husband

Do you own a gun?

Restraining order?

If they really are divorced and the credit card is in her name only, then him signing up for a service like that could likely amount to identify theft/fraud.

Research it and maybe take his ass to court - juries don't look too kindly on identity theft.

Dump her.

Holy shit, all of us posted literally within seconds of each other.

^ Haha, I saw that. I was like, I bet this thread is gonna get some play fairly quickly, I reload and bam!

Originally Posted by ReproMan

Holy shit, all of us posted literally within seconds of each other.

It would be more awesome if this was a masturbation thread for people to post when they orgasm.

Man up. Find him at a public place (not at his home) and confront him. Tell him to back the fuck off. Do NOT overtly threaten him.

And pick up a gun. Guys like that aren't stable.

Yes the credit card was in her name only... and the divorce isn't completely final. He is being investigated for credit card fraud and identity theft. I just don't like that he has people watching my house.

And yes, there is a gun here in case anyone enters my home

Originally Posted by danzik17

If they really are divorced and the credit card is in her name only, then him signing up for a service like that could likely amount to identify theft/fraud.

Research it and maybe take his ass to court - juries don't look too kindly on identity theft.

It doesn't matter if the divorce is official yet. Once papers are filed in the court, he has no rights to her information and their finances are considered separate. Finances have to be separate once it is filed or one party could run up a lot of bills and leave the other person with half the debt. The law separates finances immediately to prevent that kind of thing.

Originally Posted by NeilPearson

Yes the credit card was in her name only... and the divorce isn't completely final. He is being investigated for credit card fraud and identity theft. I just don't like that he has people watching my house.

And yes, there is a gun here in case anyone enters my home

Get her a can of pepper spray and a stun gun and one of those spike keychains to stab someones eyeballs out in defense......

He is way too spineless to attack anyone. He is the type that writes anonymous letters instead of confronting someone.

Why the heck did he has custody of the child. That doesn't sound right.

Originally Posted by NeilPearson

They are going through a nasty custody battle right now.

She got her credit card statement and saw an unknown charge on it. She called the credit card company and found out it was a service that sends your credit activity to you monthly... the e-mail address that it was set up to send it to was his.

Now he has said things in text messages that show he knows what garage she parks in when she visits me and that he knows where I live.

He is completely crazy and I am not sure what I can do about it.

He denies her access to see their child only allowing her supervised visits in his parents home and when she is there he says things like, "why aren't you here taking care of the kid instead of out fucking your new boyfriend"... and he says these things right in front of their son.

This pretty much just scratches the surface...



Any ideas?

Dude, I don't know you, but where does he live?
We could pay him a little visit... like in a supermarket parking lot at night

It's not foremanrules is it?

he doesn't deny her anything but supervised visits a court does and there must be a reason behind it. how over was their marriage before you were a factor and how much time has this guy had to get used to the idea that his life is fucked, his wife is sleeping with another man, and one of them doesn't get to be a full time parent anymore?

and something for you to reflect on.... how concerned is she with getting her kids back? is it killing her or are they conveniently out of her way while she has some time with you? she might be the woman your kids depend on someday and you have to trust.

i'm not trying to be an asshole but a woman a court thinks shouldn't see her kids without supervision might make some people a little wary.

What little wing and DOMS said.

Originally Posted by NeilPearson

He is way too spineless to attack anyone. He is the type that writes anonymous letters instead of confronting someone.

I wouldn't bank on that. I'd treat it sensitively especially if he has other people besides himself watching you. Maybe you could set up some sort of surveillance with your girl and around your garage and/or apartment to try and pick up this sort of stalking him and others are doing. Do this maybe after you get a restraining order so when you show the judge this evidence he'll be in violation.

I guarantee we can "convince" these people that this behaivior isnt appropriate.

Originally Posted by NeilPearson

He is way too spineless to attack anyone. He is the type that writes anonymous letters instead of confronting someone.

Those people are usually the most dangerous

I'd get out of the relationship until things cools

those quiet types are the scary ones. i always watch shows like first 48 and forensic files and often times it's those types that commit the crimes.

be safe mang.

Originally Posted by kiko

Why the heck did he has custody of the child. That doesn't sound right.

Because she gave him his day... and he just won't give the kid back

Originally Posted by Little Wing

he doesn't deny her anything but supervised visits a court does and there must be a reason behind it. how over was their marriage before you were a factor and how much time has this guy had to get used to the idea that his life is fucked, his wife is sleeping with another man, and one of them doesn't get to be a full time parent anymore?

and something for you to reflect on.... how concerned is she with getting her kids back? is it killing her or are they conveniently out of her way while she has some time with you? she might be the woman your kids depend on someday and you have to trust.

i'm not trying to be an asshole but a woman a court thinks shouldn't see her kids without supervision might make some people a little wary.

She hasn't had her day in court in yet. There is no court order. His lawyers and him are doing everything they can to drag it out. Actually she was finally able to get a temporary court order that takes effect on Tuesday. That took about 4 months. Over the holidays, they wouldn't schedule anything. Come Tuesday, they will have legally enforceable split time while she goes for full custody. That will take months through parental evaluations and court hearings.

She is very concerned with getting her child back. I can't think of anything else she could be doing. It has already cost about $15k in legal fees.

I am not ever going to have children or marry anyone. If I did though, I would be quite comfortable with her raising them.

I agree if the courts would have done anything to prevent her from seeing them, I would have to think differently. They fought over custody and had a court date scheduled. The day before he finally came to an agreement with her on shared custody. She signed it and the court date was cancelled because an agreement had been met. Then the next day, after the court date was missed, she finds out he didn't sign it so there is nothing legally enforceable. Then the holidays hit and she has to start from square one scheduling another court date.

Their marriage was over at least a year before she left. They had separate rooms for a year and the whole time she was asking him for a divorce but for complex reasons (kids, mortgage, etc), she continued to live under the same roof. I got together with her after she left the home.

We have no plans to introduce myself to her child any time soon. We both feel he has went through too much change already. On days that she has custody, she will spend all the time with him. I get the other days.

Originally Posted by soxmuscle

those quiet types are the scary ones. i always watch shows like first 48 and forensic files and often times it's those types that commit the crimes.

be safe mang.

He's not quiet... he is loud and abnoxious and tells his story of woe to anyone who will listen. He's quite outgoing and has no trouble barking orders at women. He just wouldn't ever try it with a man.

Originally Posted by kiko

If she has legal custody, she can get him arrested for refusing to return the kid. She should get a cop to escort her to his house and get the kid. I can't believe she hasn't done that already.

That is the issue... Prior to this coming Tuesday, there has been nothing that says either one of them have legal custody. The police won't do shit without a court order.

Come Tuesday it will be a very different story. He will go balistic when she takes him. I am sure police will be involved before the week is through. He is saying now that he knows they have a written argreement but he is hoping she will be 'flexible' with it... meaning let him continue to have more time than her. She is telling him that she will only give him whatever time the law says she has to.

Did I mention that up until the time she left, he never showed any interest in the kid? He didn't know the kids doctors name or really anything about children.

The first weekend he had the kid, he decided they should make pancakes... and since he doesn't know shit about kids, he let a 5 year old flip his own pancakes on the stove. So of course the kid burnt his hand. But now that she's gone, he has magically transformed into someone who wants his kid around 24/7 and believes that he is the only one that can care for him.

the courts won't look kindly on him depriving the boy of his mother with no legal order nor will they appreciate him being sneaky and vindictive. if what you say is true his sudden interest in their son is to use the child as a weapon, that is both sad and scary. maybe she could get a psychologist to speak on her behalf about the mentality of a person who uses a child to punish a partner...

Originally Posted by Little Wing

the courts won't look kindly on him depriving the boy of his mother with no legal order nor will they appreciate him being sneaky and vindictive. if what you say is true his sudden interest in their son is to use the child as a weapon, that is both sad and scary. maybe she could get a psychologist to speak on her behalf about the mentality of a person who uses a child to punish a partner...

She is working on that. They are to get full evaluations done (including the child) to decide what is in the childs best interest. She knows that ultimately a judge is not going to be happy with his behavior. The frustrating part is it takes so long... and a few months is a lot of time for a six year old to have to go through this stuff.

I have met some douche bags in my time but this guy has done things I didn't know people could actually do.

Actually, I probably shouldn't be saying anything in a public forum like this. Some of this information may be things that should only come out in court.

I would greatly appreciate it if this whole thread could be deleted.

I just started it because I was pissed when I found out he had people watching my home.