Thread: The New Testament of Vieope

Book of Would you kill yourself if you knew heaven existed and it was awesome?
And he said,

Originally Posted by Vieope

I dont mean in a religious way, I mean if heaven was scientifically proved and you could talk with people in heaven through cell phones, email, receive news, heaven tv shows, heaven porn, heaven music, you would sometimes taste heaven food in the annual heaven convention and it would taste unbelievable. Everything there would be better and it doesnt matter how you died. Suicide or normal death.
Would you kill yourself?

This is undoubtedly the most explicit of this great thinker's questions. What if you had direct access to heaven porn just by killing yourself? Would you have to pay $15/month for such porn? And if so, do they take Visa? Or, do we need some kind of, heaven Visa? Would heaven porn actors have heaven penises, or would it just be mostly heaven girl on heaven girl? Because of the direct nature of this quote, it is often one overlooked for analysis, but that would be a great mistake. Indeed, the Great Blue Bunny teases us by withholding the truth to these questions we know he possesses, but he so wisely challenges us to come to these conclusions ourselves.

When the saint Prince fell to his knees and called out to Vieope, he looked to the sky and pleaded for answers to these great questions. "Oh great, all knowing Rabbit," he screamed, "Could I surfeth the web all day in thy heaven?" Vieope felt that he might bless Man with his wisdom. The saint Prince could make out behind his veil of tears a burning stack of porno mags. And from this stack emitted a great aura of knowledge upon the saint. Vieope spoke:

Originally Posted by Vieope

Yes

To which Prince replied, "Shalleth I enjoy the hole-i-ness of your women too? And drinketh thine wine?"

Originally Posted by Vieope

Yes, it is heaven. Food is better, sex..
Everything would taste and feel better.

Then the saintly David spoke out to the burning stack of porno mags. "But oh great Bunny, I chooseth not to kill myself, for I am enjoying my time on Earth. I like my non-heaven porn and food. Musteth I kill myself if I am not in living Hell now?"

Vieope spoke:

Originally Posted by Vieope

But you would enjoy more in heaven.

Some say this dialog leads us to believe that this was the fate of our prophet. Could this be so? Most analysis's say no. Indeed, the Bunny's human side was momentarily swayed by the evil Dontstop's temptations, which may have lead Vieope astray. We see this in a power struggle between the two entities, when Vieope eventually succumbs to Dontstop's beckoning, admitting to his defeat:

Originally Posted by Vieope

You obviously know more about orgasms than me.

But this moment of weakness is quickly distempered when Vieope reveals that heaven welcomes all men and women, and that the more in the great Lagomorphic kingdom the better.

Originally Posted by Vieope

But I think that is true. You know more about orgasms because you are a woman.

Well any ideas how sex might improve in this heaven? More people?

This is perhaps, the most overlooked book of Vieope but it is not without its lessons. What becomes of us once we die? Undoubtedly there will be lots of heaven porn and heaven food, as taught to us by the Great Bunny. But if even The Great Two Eared One can be swayed by evil, cannot we all? However, The Humpy One also spoke firmly and confidently against this evil, perhaps to set an example of how we all must act when tempted by evil desires.

Some experts believe that this Book holds some counter evidence for the second coming of Vieope. Vieope says:

Originally Posted by Vieope

Nobody can get multiple orgasms lasting hours... Even if that was possible you could not do that more than three times.

Some experts consider this a mistranslation of Vieope's native language occurring some time among the multiple renditions of the Bunny Book. Indeed, many modern Vieopian doctrines more accurately now print, "Nobody can come lasting hours... Even if that was possible you could not do that more than three times."

Considering that we have seen at least one Vieope within our written history, one may assume that Vieope may return to us up to two more times, commonly referred to as the Second and Third Coming of Vieope. However, some believe that Vieope spoke this through experience, and that these doctrines are based on the third reincarnation of Vieope. He knew when taking his lagomorph form that he had used up all his energy to do so, and that he would be unable to come a third time. Such a theory is highly controversial and accepted by few, but it does beg the question that if this is the third and last Bunny, what form might primitive Vieopes had taken? Ancient texts suggest prophets such as myCATpwerlifts, Irontime, gr81, or God Hand. Perhaps only Albob is old enough to have insight dating so far back in time, but he’s rather indecipherable these days.

However, we also must ask ourselves if this passage indeed has a more direct meaning. Are we too quick to look pass the surface value of his words? Might there be a blue bunny somewhere not in the holy land of Brazil but rather in heaven Brazil, surrounded by heaven chick-bunnies, and probably a few heaven banana hammocks as well? If so, he left us with the followings words, reminding us that we must be prepared at any moment to leave this world.

Originally Posted by Vieope

Are you ready after 10 minutes of an orgasm?

Perhaps then, we can finally join hands with the Bunny One, and nibble on his carrot stick.

Join us next week when we do a review of some of the smaller books. Such as The Book Ice and the Book of Wut if dogs were GOD as written by the saintly Vaginaeye. Then we will explore the final books of Vieope, and ultimately the secrets of the final words and what experts believe they reveal about the fate of the Bunny, humanity, and the world.

I'm not sure how to respond to this so I'm just gonna give multiple choice.

a) And I thought I was bored.

b) And I thought I had problems.

c) Maybe I don't want to try acid.

uhhh C

Originally Posted by SYN

I'm not sure how to respond to this so I'm just gonna give multiple choice.

a) And I thought I was bored.

b) And I thought I had problems.

c) Maybe I don't want to try acid.

How about D) And I thought I was gay!...


oh wait...

this thread is what happens after a successful




when you are left with too much time on your hands. literally.

Thus he spake unto them with the booming voice of one who huffs sulfur hexafluride and he sayeth, "Go! Go thou hence and bounce, bounce for man, bounce for the quarreling hillbillies of Afghan, bounce and ponder the grave consequences of rooms gone askew through the paranoiac-critical mind melt where the passage of time slithers amongst the italic malice of four thought... Thats right 4th dimensional.....where he and I toil away for play and for spiritual reconciliation with the ennui of corporealness and the space that surrounds it....."

Originally Posted by Little Wing

this thread is what happens after a successful




when you are left with too much time on your hands. literally.

that is not only hilarious but frighteningly accurate

Originally Posted by SYN

I'm not sure how to respond to this so I'm just gonna give multiple choice.

a) And I thought I was bored.

b) And I thought I had problems.

c) Maybe I don't want to try acid.

You may not have liked it, but I thought it was rather imaginative and well-written.

Originally Posted by Triple Threat

You may not have liked it, but I thought it was rather imaginative and well-written.

who said i didn't like it?

Originally Posted by Triple Threat

You may not have liked it, but I thought it was rather imaginative and well-written.

TT speaks the truth.

And oh thou firebrand eyes seeketh the light and the way, and lo I shall teach that the faint fluffy tail in yon distance, as you see as a cloud, will be revealed to be Vieope the exalted one leading the way, and he will ask on this path, 'What other worlds exist where intrepid perception is left to the morbid beasts?" and you will not answer 'What other worlds?" This will be your journey and your exit too. Levitations 2:-9