Book of Would you kill yourself if you knew heaven existed and it was awesome?
And he said,
This is undoubtedly the most explicit of this great thinker's questions. What if you had direct access to heaven porn just by killing yourself? Would you have to pay $15/month for such porn? And if so, do they take Visa? Or, do we need some kind of, heaven Visa? Would heaven porn actors have heaven penises, or would it just be mostly heaven girl on heaven girl? Because of the direct nature of this quote, it is often one overlooked for analysis, but that would be a great mistake. Indeed, the Great Blue Bunny teases us by withholding the truth to these questions we know he possesses, but he so wisely challenges us to come to these conclusions ourselves.Originally Posted by Vieope
When the saint Prince fell to his knees and called out to Vieope, he looked to the sky and pleaded for answers to these great questions. "Oh great, all knowing Rabbit," he screamed, "Could I surfeth the web all day in thy heaven?" Vieope felt that he might bless Man with his wisdom. The saint Prince could make out behind his veil of tears a burning stack of porno mags. And from this stack emitted a great aura of knowledge upon the saint. Vieope spoke:
To which Prince replied, "Shalleth I enjoy the hole-i-ness of your women too? And drinketh thine wine?"Originally Posted by Vieope
Then the saintly David spoke out to the burning stack of porno mags. "But oh great Bunny, I chooseth not to kill myself, for I am enjoying my time on Earth. I like my non-heaven porn and food. Musteth I kill myself if I am not in living Hell now?"Originally Posted by Vieope
Some say this dialog leads us to believe that this was the fate of our prophet. Could this be so? Most analysis's say no. Indeed, the Bunny's human side was momentarily swayed by the evil Dontstop's temptations, which may have lead Vieope astray. We see this in a power struggle between the two entities, when Vieope eventually succumbs to Dontstop's beckoning, admitting to his defeat:Originally Posted by Vieope
But this moment of weakness is quickly distempered when Vieope reveals that heaven welcomes all men and women, and that the more in the great Lagomorphic kingdom the better.Originally Posted by Vieope
This is perhaps, the most overlooked book of Vieope but it is not without its lessons. What becomes of us once we die? Undoubtedly there will be lots of heaven porn and heaven food, as taught to us by the Great Bunny. But if even The Great Two Eared One can be swayed by evil, cannot we all? However, The Humpy One also spoke firmly and confidently against this evil, perhaps to set an example of how we all must act when tempted by evil desires.Originally Posted by Vieope
Some experts believe that this Book holds some counter evidence for the second coming of Vieope. Vieope says:
Some experts consider this a mistranslation of Vieope's native language occurring some time among the multiple renditions of the Bunny Book. Indeed, many modern Vieopian doctrines more accurately now print, "Nobody can come lasting hours... Even if that was possible you could not do that more than three times."Originally Posted by Vieope
Considering that we have seen at least one Vieope within our written history, one may assume that Vieope may return to us up to two more times, commonly referred to as the Second and Third Coming of Vieope. However, some believe that Vieope spoke this through experience, and that these doctrines are based on the third reincarnation of Vieope. He knew when taking his lagomorph form that he had used up all his energy to do so, and that he would be unable to come a third time. Such a theory is highly controversial and accepted by few, but it does beg the question that if this is the third and last Bunny, what form might primitive Vieopes had taken? Ancient texts suggest prophets such as myCATpwerlifts, Irontime, gr81, or God Hand. Perhaps only Albob is old enough to have insight dating so far back in time, but heâ€™s rather indecipherable these days.
However, we also must ask ourselves if this passage indeed has a more direct meaning. Are we too quick to look pass the surface value of his words? Might there be a blue bunny somewhere not in the holy land of Brazil but rather in heaven Brazil, surrounded by heaven chick-bunnies, and probably a few heaven banana hammocks as well? If so, he left us with the followings words, reminding us that we must be prepared at any moment to leave this world.
Perhaps then, we can finally join hands with the Bunny One, and nibble on his carrot stick.Originally Posted by Vieope
Join us next week when we do a review of some of the smaller books. Such as The Book Ice and the Book of Wut if dogs were GOD as written by the saintly Vaginaeye. Then we will explore the final books of Vieope, and ultimately the secrets of the final words and what experts believe they reveal about the fate of the Bunny, humanity, and the world.