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Kids...no thanx...


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Old 07-12-2008, 02:25 PM   #1
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Kids...no thanx...

I'm glad someone is having them, just glad it aint me....As I have always suspected:

"In Daniel Gilbert's 2006 book "Stumbling on Happiness," the Harvard professor of psychology looks at several studies and concludes that marital satisfaction decreases dramatically after the birth of the first child—and increases only when the last child has left home."

Having kids does not seem to increase happiness in people. An interesting article in News Week:

From News Week: Does Having Children Make You Happy? | Newsweek Global Literacy | Newsweek.com



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Old 07-12-2008, 03:58 PM   #2
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My guess is that marital satisfaction goes down because sex goes down, and one partner is particularly more likely to be overweight.

Not that I would know anything about it, but I think most people who don't have kids are probably very lonely and depressed after age 40 or 50, when your parents are probably gone and you can't blend in at the bar and everyone your age is always talking about their grandkids. I have one aunt who never had kids, she is always so happy to see distant relatives that she barely knows. I probably saw her a total of 10 times between ages 5-18, and whenever I talk to her she acts like I am her grandkid.



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Old 07-12-2008, 04:40 PM   #3
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after i had Tesla i smiled so much my face hurt. i still do sometimes. my kids have been the force behind countless moments of pure joy. their dad is a shithead though and absolutely responsible for his own misery. his one big regret according to him is he was not smart enough to dig his head out of his own ass and man up to being a good husband and father.

i think a lot of people might experience what the study says but not everyone is alike. some moms run off some dads do some would never think of it. people can't be pigeonholed by studies.



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Old 07-12-2008, 09:01 PM   #4
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My demonic XGF abandoned her daughter, and blames her Xhusband
for ruining and stealing her life away from her.

Meanwhile she has a huge nest egg she got out of the divorce that he paid for.


Of course, shes a self serving monster who, IM SURE, was incapable of
having an honorable relationship with anyone, including her own parents.



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Old 07-12-2008, 09:15 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WillBrink View Post
I'm glad someone is having them, just glad it aint me....As I have always suspected:

"In Daniel Gilbert's 2006 book "Stumbling on Happiness," the Harvard professor of psychology looks at several studies and concludes that marital satisfaction decreases dramatically after the birth of the first child—and increases only when the last child has left home."

Having kids does not seem to increase happiness in people. An interesting article in News Week:

From News Week: Does Having Children Make You Happy? | Newsweek Global Literacy | Newsweek.com

this isn't neccisarily new, similar results have been around for years. But I bet there are couples out there who would argue that the studies weren't eeneded in the first place
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Old 07-12-2008, 11:43 PM   #6
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kids are the greatest joy in life I have 4 and am a better man fore it.
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Old 07-13-2008, 03:41 AM   #7
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kids are the greatest joy in life I have 4 and am a better man fore it.
Thanks for blowing the bell curve on my taxes!



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Old 07-13-2008, 04:22 AM   #8
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Thanks for blowing the bell curve on my taxes!
You said blowing!



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Old 07-13-2008, 06:42 AM   #9
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this isn't neccisarily new, similar results have been around for years. But I bet there are couples out there who would argue that the studies weren't eeneded in the first place
Agreed.



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Old 07-13-2008, 08:36 AM   #10
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kids are the greatest joy in life I have 4 and am a better man fore it.

As you know, the concepts of work and commitment in our current society are unknown to many, if not most... So, should such people have kids? If such people realized they were simply not cut out to be good parents and or unwilling to make such sacrifices (and anyone with kids will admit there are many sacrifices made), would they not be better off not having those kids which they would not make good parents to? Again, lots of crappy parents out there who have unhappy kids.

I think people would be much better off if they were honest with themselves about their willingness and or ability to make the sacrifices that are needed for the well being of their children and not be pressured via society to pop out kids they can't deal with.

People that are honest with themselves about it and decide to not have kids because they know thy will not make "real" parents, are to be respected for that decision no less than those who step up to plate and act as "real" parents.

Those who pop out kids who are unable and or unwilling to be "real" parents, are the selfish ones. Unfortunately, that's a large % of people out there.



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Old 07-13-2008, 08:49 AM   #11
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One day sure, but it won't be for at a minimum another 10 years or so. I'm too damn young to settle down like that and have way too much I want to do. That and I don't think I could go skydiving if I knew someone was depending on me



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Old 07-13-2008, 08:49 AM   #12
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but I think most people who don't have kids are probably very lonely and depressed after age 40 or 50, .
"data gathered from 13,000 Americans by the National Survey of Families and Households. "In fact, no group of parents—married, single, step or even empty nest—reported significantly greater emotional well-being than people who never had children. It's such a counterintuitive finding because we have these cultural beliefs that children are the key to happiness and a healthy life, and they're not." So, that's the norm. vs the exception.

Personally, it's right in line with my own experiences and what I see, but it's not very PC to say such things.



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Old 07-13-2008, 09:20 AM   #13
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Witchblade approves of this thread too.



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Old 07-13-2008, 09:23 AM   #14
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Witchblade approves of this thread too.
Good to know!



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Old 07-13-2008, 09:47 AM   #15
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Can you imagine what apocalyptic madness would have occurred had I not approved?



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Old 07-13-2008, 10:24 AM   #16
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Can you imagine what apocalyptic madness would have occurred had I not approved?
We just narrowly avoided the next big one!

That's right, I said "big one"



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Old 07-13-2008, 04:23 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cadnkides View Post
kids are the greatest joy in life I have 4 and am a better man fore it.
this is possible. Of all the people I know with kids none of them ever regret it, despite the difficulties. However, this information is based on marital satisfaction, not life satisfaction.
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Old 07-13-2008, 05:07 PM   #18
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this is possible. Of all the people I know with kids none of them ever regret it, despite the difficulties. However, this information is based on marital satisfaction, not life satisfaction.
Not true. See post #12 and or read the article.



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Old 07-13-2008, 06:10 PM   #19
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Not true. See post #12 and or read the article.
what did I say counter to post #12?
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Old 07-13-2008, 06:28 PM   #20
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what did I say counter to post #12?
You said:

"However, this information is based on marital satisfaction, not life satisfaction."

Article said:

"In fact, no group of parents-married, single, step or even empty nesters -reported significantly greater emotional well-being than people who never had children"

It is in fact based on life satisfaction it appears vs. just marital.



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Old 07-13-2008, 10:25 PM   #21
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your statement claims that no parent group had higher emotional well being than non-parents. Even if we assume that emotional well being = life satisfaction, your quote does not imply that non parents had greater EWB, but simply that parents were not greater than non parents. They could be, technically, equal. Granted, I did not read the study I'm just basing it off of the quote you gave me.

In addition, my previous comment was in regard to my own knowledge and education, and that is that marital satisfaction decreases after a child, maintains a stability less than the previous average, and then increases above the original average once the child becomes 18 and leaves home. It becomes a 0 > -1 > +1 pattern. I honestly don't know of any studies or trends that measure emotional well being.
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