Reply With QuoteDear women.
You are only a rib's worth of us so you dont get entitled to rules, or to bitch.
Women's Rules for Blow Jobs
Results 1 to 24 of 24
Thread: Women's Rules for Blow Jobs
-
09-04-2008, 06:25 AM #1FTW
- Join Date
- Mar 2002
- Location
- On my Harley
- Posts
- 4,469
- Rep Points
- 2853065
Women's Rules for Blow Jobs
sent to me by my wife
1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
2. Extension to rule #1-- So if you get one, be grateful.
3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it's not standard practice to come on someone's face.
4. Extension to rule #3 -- No, I DON'T have to swallow.
5. My ears are not handles,
6. Extension to rule #5 -- don't push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really want puke on your dick?
7. I don't care how relaxed you get, it is NEVER okay to fart.
8. Having my period doesn't mean it's "hummer week," Get it through your head -- I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because you can't have sex right now.
9. Extension to #8 -- "Blue Balls" might have worked in high school. But if you're really that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.
10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked" it for you.
11. Leaving me in bed while you play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you'd like to get another blow job in the future.
12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content.
14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut.
16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up doesn't mean I have to "kiss it good morning."
-
09-04-2008, 07:51 AM #2lifts weights ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- Jan 2005
- Location
- Minneapple
- Posts
- 4,817
- Rep Points
- 6076932
This is my journal. Click it and such
"tried and true theory on one's self is probably the only non-biased proof that something works for someone." - juggernaut
http://www.ronpaul.com/
-
09-04-2008, 12:46 PM #3..is bulking up! ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- Apr 2004
- Location
- Cana-dah
- Posts
- 5,659
- Rep Points
- 3462055
Originally Posted by Rusty
-
09-04-2008, 01:31 PM #4Bohemian Extraordinaire ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- Aug 2003
- Gender
- Location
- Mēns Incognita
- Posts
- 25,581
- Rep Points
- 396412648
If their ears aren't handles then why do some of them wear the easy-grip hoops in them?
I've had a few where I just laid back on the couch and channel surfed the whole time, I'm telling you those are the best ones....Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
and drag down the features of age,
no folds or creases from unkempt wear
eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012
-
09-04-2008, 02:04 PM #5Registered User
- Join Date
- Dec 2004
- Gender
- Location
- Utah
- Posts
- 7,915
- Rep Points
- 137779437
if LW sees this post she is going to murder you Originally Posted by FishOrCutBait
Originally Posted by IainDaniel
-
09-04-2008, 02:41 PM #6Bohemian Extraordinaire ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- Aug 2003
- Gender
- Location
- Mēns Incognita
- Posts
- 25,581
- Rep Points
- 396412648
Naw, but Jodi will.... Originally Posted by bio-chem
Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
and drag down the features of age,
no folds or creases from unkempt wear
eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012
-
09-04-2008, 02:42 PM #7FTW
- Join Date
- Mar 2002
- Location
- On my Harley
- Posts
- 4,469
- Rep Points
- 2853065
Na, She has seen it before. It's not new. Just thought I'd start it over again!!! Originally Posted by maniclion
-
09-04-2008, 03:08 PM #8Registered User
- Join Date
- Sep 2005
- Gender
- Location
- USA
- Posts
- 3,001
- Rep Points
- 13325264
Of course you have to swallow... and lick it all clean after.
And yes you are obligated. If you don't want to and if you don't like it, I will find someone who does.
-
09-04-2008, 03:54 PM #9lifts weights ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- Jan 2005
- Location
- Minneapple
- Posts
- 4,817
- Rep Points
- 6076932
she knows I am kidding. Originally Posted by bio-chem
This is my journal. Click it and such
"tried and true theory on one's self is probably the only non-biased proof that something works for someone." - juggernaut
http://www.ronpaul.com/
-
09-04-2008, 03:56 PM #10pedal pedal pedal MODERATOR
- Join Date
- Mar 2001
- Gender
- Location
- New England
- Posts
- 12,754
- Rep Points
- 184179794
whatever chick wrote that is too high maintenance.
-
09-04-2008, 05:46 PM #11Succinct ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- Jul 2006
- Location
- Holland
- Posts
- 4,474
- Rep Points
- 2291514
Yeah, she sucks. Or doesn't, which also blows. Originally Posted by I Are Baboon
-
09-04-2008, 06:26 PM #12Voodoo Doll ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- Mar 2004
- Gender
- Location
- Bangor, Maine
- Posts
- 30,609
- Rep Points
- 949440969
rule 17. if we are in the 69 position during said blowjob many of the aforementioned rules are negotiable...
Don't look back ~ You're not going that way!
-
09-04-2008, 06:28 PM #13Registered User
- Join Date
- May 2008
- Location
- uptown
- Posts
- 366
- Rep Points
- 282683
If a girl who was such a sexual prude even existed, she wouldn't have a boyfriend very long.
-
09-04-2008, 06:30 PM #14Voodoo Doll ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- Mar 2004
- Gender
- Location
- Bangor, Maine
- Posts
- 30,609
- Rep Points
- 949440969
funny women are a missing rib and being in a guys arms held close to where we supposedly originate from feels like home.... Originally Posted by FishOrCutBait
she knows I am kidding.
ps. i never went to Montreal before but it felt like home...
Don't look back ~ You're not going that way!
-
09-04-2008, 06:31 PM #15Registered User
- Join Date
- Dec 2004
- Posts
- 4,227
- Rep Points
- 1640225
Damn grabbing a chicks ears while getting dome would just be weird. I've never heard of anyone doing that.
-
09-04-2008, 07:49 PM #16Bohemian Extraordinaire ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- Aug 2003
- Gender
- Location
- Mēns Incognita
- Posts
- 25,581
- Rep Points
- 396412648
10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked" it for you.
If she can get far enough down on me to get a pube in her teeth then I ain't complaining
Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
and drag down the features of age,
no folds or creases from unkempt wear
eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012
-
09-04-2008, 08:22 PM #17lifts weights ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- Jan 2005
- Location
- Minneapple
- Posts
- 4,817
- Rep Points
- 6076932
thats the sweetest thing I have heard all day, hands down Originally Posted by Little Wing
funny women are a missing rib and being in a guys arms held close to where we supposedly originate from feels like home....
ps. i never went to Montreal before but it felt like home...This is my journal. Click it and such
"tried and true theory on one's self is probably the only non-biased proof that something works for someone." - juggernaut
http://www.ronpaul.com/
-
09-06-2008, 08:24 PM #18www.musclesportmag.com
- Join Date
- Jun 2008
- Location
- New York
- Posts
- 29
- Rep Points
- 27843
Men's Rules for Blow Jobs
Men's Rules for Blow Jobs:
1- Accept themMuscleSport Mag- Bodybuilding, Pro Sports, Steroids (www.musclesportmag.com)
-
09-06-2008, 11:24 PM #19Peelosopher
- Join Date
- Feb 2003
- Posts
- 6,386
- Rep Points
- 54467411
I got one today. Just chiming in
-
09-07-2008, 03:12 AM #20fiendish thingy ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- Nov 2005
- Gender
- Location
- Massachusetts
- Posts
- 18,430
- Rep Points
- 60099873
man, whoever wrote that is really bitter.
-
09-07-2008, 03:13 AM #21fiendish thingy ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- Nov 2005
- Gender
- Location
- Massachusetts
- Posts
- 18,430
- Rep Points
- 60099873
Originally Posted by Crono1000
I got one today. Just chiming in
-
09-07-2008, 07:21 AM #22Voodoo Doll ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- Mar 2004
- Gender
- Location
- Bangor, Maine
- Posts
- 30,609
- Rep Points
- 949440969
Originally Posted by FishOrCutBait
Don't look back ~ You're not going that way!
-
09-07-2008, 10:56 AM #23Registered User
- Join Date
- May 2008
- Location
- uptown
- Posts
- 366
- Rep Points
- 282683
Whoever wrote that probably doesn't even have a guy to blow. Originally Posted by fufu
-
09-07-2008, 12:42 PM #24Esprit de Corps ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- May 2004
- Location
- Oklahoma
- Posts
- 5,072
- Rep Points
- 10978847
Funny thing....
I've known both types. Women who CAN'T STAND the thought of Fellatio and others who love it.
The truth is... if you're a woman who enjoys sex with a man, you really need to understand that this is probably one of the most effective ways to get your "soldier" to stand at attention (if you know what I mean).
But then... we have a sexual health forum to discuss such strategies.
NEVER write a check with your mouth that you can't cash with your ASS!!
I can run faster mad than you can scared
"All right brain... I don't like you and you don't like me. So let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer" ~ Homer Simpson
Similar Threads
-
NPC Women's Physique Rules & Regulations
By ParadiseCup in forum Bodybuilding GossipReplies: 0Last Post: 01-20-2012, 03:43 AM -
Blow Job
By ROID in forum Open ChatReplies: 9Last Post: 01-21-2010, 04:55 PM -
Blow jobs!
By Bill Palfenier in forum Open ChatReplies: 5Last Post: 07-08-2009, 11:10 AM -
How to blow yourself in the gym
By irontime in forum Open ChatReplies: 14Last Post: 10-09-2003, 11:19 AM -
Women's Rules for Blow Jobs
By Rusty in forum Open ChatReplies: 30Last Post: 01-16-2003, 06:21 PM
Posting Permissions
DISCLAIMER:
All health, fitness, diet, nutrition & supplement information presented on IronMagazineForums.com's pages is intended as an educational resource and is not intended as a substitute for proper medical advice. We do not condone the use of anabolic steroids (AAS), all information about AAS is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Consult your physician or health care professional before performing any of the exercises, or following any diet, nutrition or supplement advice described on this website. As well as any exercise technique or regimen, diet, supplement, etc., particularly if you are pregnant or nursing, or if you are elderly or have chronic or recurring medical conditions. Discontinue any exercise that causes you pain or severe discomfort and consult a medical expert. The statements made about products have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration (U.S.). They are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any condition or disease. Please consult with your own physician or health care practitioner regarding the suggestions and recommendations made at IronMagazineForums.com. Neither the author of the information, nor the producer, nor distributors of such information make any warranty of any kind in regard to the content of the information presented on this website. Except as specifically stated on this site, neither IronMagazineForums.com, nor any of its authors or other representatives will be liable for damages arising out of, or in connection with the use of this site. This is a comprehensive limitation of liability that applies to all damages of any kind, including (without limitation) compensatory, direct, indirect or consequential damages, loss of data, income or profit, loss of or damage to property and claims of third parties. Sponsors pay for advertising space, we have no affiliation with the companies that have banners displayed on our websites. Please be advised it is your responsibility to check the laws that govern your country, state, or province in regards to items offered by some companies you may read about on this site.