Thread: 41 ways to melt a women's heart

Do you have any to add? How about 41 ways to shit on her heart?

Very nice Mino, I'll start to call you the love Dr.

If you want to really piss her off, call her another womans name. Make sure your on your toes though, cause a right cross is coming very quickly!

35. Moan her mothers name when she goes down on you.

What's funny is that most women would find half of these things creepy/weird, especially in a relationship that is less than several years old.

Originally Posted by min0 lee

35. Moan her mothers name when she goes down on you.

Yup! That'll do it.

Originally Posted by min0 lee

Do you have any to add?

blow torch
microwave oven
small nuclear explosion
lightsaber

Originally Posted by min0 lee

35. Moan her mothers name when she goes down on you.

Moan her fathers name when she goes down on you.

24. Touch her arm when you leave the table to go to the bathroom. Touch her again when you come back......make sure you didn't wash your soiled hands.

Originally Posted by Triple Threat

Moan her fathers name when she goes down on you.

9. Ask to see a picture of her when she was a child....and proceed to make fun of how fat and ugly she was when she was a pimple infested child.

16. Undress her and put her to bed when she falls asleep in the car......undress while she still in the car and then take her to bed, to your neighbors delight.

#12. When you commence your oral skills, don't forget the poop chute.

Originally Posted by TexanTA1996

What's funny is that most women would find half of these things creepy/weird, especially in a relationship that is less than several years old.

Nahhhh....it's just you, even from the computer you creep me out.

The rules on how to treat are the following. If you have ideas for more please feel free to contribute.

1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better." This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really hard until she cries (this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are).

3. Once a month, sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs; they love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say "you better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things, as they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because jewelry is for pussies.

7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words "F**K you" and grab the other girl's ass. Girls love competition.

8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for mile so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset, tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that, lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can."

9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick." Women love those special nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

11. Warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her our jacket, because then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop complaining about the cold right now, you're going to be complaining about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there, she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party is dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you all night.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny...why shouldn't girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes, then jump up and scream in her ear. Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things (like basketball).

15. After you have made love, say "listen toots, put your knickers back on and go make me a cup of tea".
If she laughs, is not out of the bed within 3 seconds, is not back within 3.5 minutes, or the tea is crap/does not come with decent biscuits (or any combination of the above) tell her that it's over until she learns to make better cups of tea; a Woman loves to better herself - give her the chance to do so.

16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give her self-confidence, then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time you're in her house, steal one of her shoes, earrings or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way, she'll go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order, interrupt and say "no, she's not hungry." Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then punch her in the face. Girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. Give her one of your t-shirts, and make sure it has your smell on it (but not a sexy cologne smell...a bad smell. You know what I'm talking about).

21. When it's raining, keep asking her if she's crying. She'll say "no, it's just the rain." Ten minutes later, turn to her and just scream at her to stop crying. Girls like a tough man.

22. Titty twisters and plenty of them.

23. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.

24. Remember her birthday, but don't get her anything. Teach her that material objects arent important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps you happy, and your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

25. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then, next time you know she's coming over on a trash day, leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can.

26. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call that you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really excited, then don't call.

27. If you're ever travelling on public transport in a foreign country with your girlfriend, make sure you stand near the automatic doors. When the bus/train is at a platform and the doors are about to close, push her off (if she falls over it's a bonus as she is less likely to be able to re-board said vehicle). This will leave her stranded in a strange place with no way of getting home…. What an adventure! And will also teach her to never say your relationship lacks 'spice' again.

28. Leave a trail of candles at your front door for your lady with a note to follow them……. (Girls love a guy to be Romantic)…….End your mysterious trail of love at the kitchen sink, with the vacuum cleaner next to it and then her suitcase full of everything she owns. With a huge banner hanging up saying "HINT".

Originally Posted by IronAddict

Very nice Mino, I'll start to call you the love Dr.

If you want to really piss her off, call her another womans name. Make sure your on your toes though, cause a right cross is coming very quickly!

fuck me I have actually fucking done that for real once....I called her by my exes name one time when we were just about to ahve sex...Needles to say that we didnt after that.....

Those are all pretty much common sense for me, except the flowers thing, jewelry is much more persuasive.....

Originally Posted by IJ300

The rules on how to treat are the following. If you have ideas for more please feel free to contribute.