Thread: Married and 3 ways

Well, the most obvious way I can think of would be going to a bar to seek the individual (female I assume...no, I hope). That or... maybe craigslist? lol

I got the "Hell no" So I can't help you.

However I would say it is a slippery slope.

I'm more interested in the internal morale response.

This was a situation I ran into 1 1/2 years ago with my wife.

Internal Morale response in what way?

I've been told that 3ways don't work in commited relationships. But any hard-fast rule makes me question its legitimacy. I could see the downward slope that would follow though. Any such attempts start off small, but I could see one or the other member wanting to take it one step further and so on until it's full blown cheating. However, I could also see two people realizing that they enjoy swinging together.

but if the two of you didn't become committed under a swinging lifestyle, I wouldn't risk it now.

Up the ante, ask if she'd be willing to try it with 2 other women and so on.....

Originally Posted by IainDaniel

Internal Morale response in what way?

Well, I guess as a society we're conditioned to be monogamous. This obviously goes against that and a few other traditional beliefs about committed relationships. What would your concerns be? Would you be able to reconcile this against whatever beliefs you might have/had?

In my case my wife already had conversations with one of her single girlfriends about it. Apparently women are just as much freaks as we are.

After our brief conversation on the topic she came to me about a week later and said she and Robin (her friend) were in. I almost shit myself. One, because I had no idea she already had someone in mind let alone the best looking girlfriend that she has.

I don't know if it is traditional beliefs... more so the impact it will have on your relationship.

And a friend to me would be a big no no.

I thought the same way. I had countless conversations with my wife about it. Telling her to understand the possible implications. Potential loss of a friend, rumors spreading around her network of friends and such. As well as her being able to see me with her friend and not have any lingering issues.

She was undeterred.

And you actually get to stick your dick in her friend?

I found out the hard way that I had to look at some stuff ahead of time. From this my response to your question is that the "what ifs?" could kill your marriage, but if those "ifs" are cared for than you could have some harmless fun.

What if you enjoy that third person tooooo much for your wife's emotional coping mechanisms to deal with? Throttle that down and keep a handle on it. What if your wife gets bent at not being the center of attention? Plan on that and stay ahead of the curve. Keep her feeling like she is the most important person in the entire sexual experience. Make sure she cums first, often, and last. Get all the details of what she wants up front. Be fun and sexy about it, but ask if she wants to get head from the other female while you're in her ... but ask her BEFORE the game is on. Her emotional reactions may not be as easily forcasted be her as she may believe, so you need to get that sorted out before the deed gets done.

Most women are as freaky as we are. If you have one than you are one lucky mofo. If you can keep up ... than ... game on!!!

Yea, that went down about a year ago. I came home to a complete surprise. They were sitting on the couch and her friend pushed me onto the love seat and went to town. my wife joined in a few minutes later and well...you can figure out the rest.

We got together on three more occasions and it was a blast. It hasn't happened in awhile now because her friend is in a relationship and that's one line I won't cross.

Originally Posted by largepkg

Yea, that went down about a year ago. I came home to a complete surprise. They were sitting on the couch and her friend pushed me onto the love seat and went to town. my wife joined in a few minutes later and well...you can figure out the rest.

We got together on three more occasions and it was a blast. It hasn't happened in awhile now because her friend is in a relationship and that's one line I won't cross.

Lol ... good idea. Enjoy life with that one. You're a lucky man. Just remember if she wants a male third, you owe her 4x's ...

Originally Posted by BoneCrusher

I found out the hard way that I had to look at some stuff ahead of time. From this my response to your question is that the "what ifs?" could kill your marriage, but if those "ifs" are cared for than you could have some harmless fun.

What if you enjoy that third person tooooo much for your wife's emotional coping mechanisms to deal with? Throttle that down and keep a handle on it. What if your wife gets bent at not being the center of attention? Plan on that and stay ahead of the curve. Keep her feeling like she is the most important person in the entire sexual experience. Make sure she cums first, often, and last. Get all the details of what she wants up front. Be fun and sexy about it, but ask if she wants to get head from the other female while you're in her ... but ask her BEFORE the game is on. Her emotional reactions may not be as easily forcasted be her as she may believe, so you need to get that sorted out before the deed gets done.

Most women are as freaky as we are. If you have one than you are one lucky mofo. If you can keep up ... than ... game on!!!

I couldn't agree more with all the above! I made sure my wife was the one getting the most attention. To the point my wife pushed me back to her friend. Apparently she really gets off on watching me. She wasn't to much into intimate contact with her friend although her hands and toys were being used by and on both.

There wasn't (up to this point) any problems with the experience. My wife recently asked me if I wanted to get together with her friend again. I said no as long as she's in a relationship.

Originally Posted by BoneCrusher

Lol ... good idea. Enjoy life with that one. You're a lucky man. Just remember if she wants a male third, you owe her 4x's ...

Not so sure about another guy. I wouldn't know what the hell to do? I guess just sit back and watch the wifey get pounded?

I have a firm no contact line drawn when another mens junk is exposed.

not to be an ass but chances are if they will do stuff he doesn't know they are up for stuff you don't know about too

Originally Posted by Crono1000

I've been told that 3ways don't work in commited relationships. But any hard-fast rule makes me question its legitimacy. I could see the downward slope that would follow though. Any such attempts start off small, but I could see one or the other member wanting to take it one step further and so on until it's full blown cheating. However, I could also see two people realizing that they enjoy swinging together.

but if the two of you didn't become committed under a swinging lifestyle, I wouldn't risk it now.

You're not going to get a more perfect answer than this.

Originally Posted by DOMS

You're not going to get a more perfect answer than this.

I live for comments like this. I'm gonna go export an illegal alien just for you

Ttiwwop

you'd be on your way to a wrecked marrige...

I tend to agree with the conservative thinking by some of you. I had all the same thoughts and concerns prior to it happening. The thing is it's been about a year since the last hook up and there have been no negative repercussions to this point.

I always thought most women would have a hard time sharing their man. Seems to me jealousy would get the better of them. I've never met a women less jealous in all ways than my wife. We've talk about it at length. Mainly due to my concerns that she may be holding her feelings in. She told me repeatedly she has no problems and actually enjoyed the experience. I see no reason to create a problem with more questions, so I trust her as I always have.

I guess knowing your partner would go a long way to determine wether it's a good idea for you to cross this line. Thing is, I learned a lot more about my partner because of the experience.

I’ll be looking out for your next post
I guess it will start like this:
My wife and I were getting our groove on last night and all
of a sudden (SURPRISE) I found myself playing meat swords with some other dude,
should I be upset ?
Or
Will the pain in my ass go away?

Are you offering your sword?

Originally Posted by largepkg

I thought the same way. I had countless conversations with my wife about it. Telling her to understand the possible implications. Potential loss of a friend, rumors spreading around her network of friends and such. As well as her being able to see me with her friend and not have any lingering issues.

She was undeterred.

How about the possibility that she decides that her friend does it for her more than you do?

Originally Posted by NeilPearson

How about the possibility that she decides that her friend does it for her more than you do?

I think he's in the clear it's been a year now and they haven't had any issues. I think more marriages would be saved if couples were more open to experimenting, so many end up cheating if they had a mutual understanding and did it together all trust issues could be dissolved. I know it wouldn't work for every couple like me and my GF we are still giddy in love so adding another to the mix would probably make that person feel like a third wheel, we'd be all over each other and she'd feel like we just wanted her to watch.....I'm not saying large and his woman aren't giddy in love but they obviously got to a point where they'd done it all and wanted to "spice" it up..... One of our other fellow posters is a swinger remember NaturalTan? He and his Mrs. go out and hook up with chicks all the time together....