Thread: Vaseline

A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted
by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet.

He says, 'I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the
product?'
She says, 'Yes. My husband and I use it all the time.'

'And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?'
'We use it for sex.'
The researcher was a little taken back. 'Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex.
I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been frank so far, can you tell
me exactly how you use it for sex?

The woman says, 'I don't mind telling you at all.
My husband and I put it on the door knob and it keeps the kids out.'

lol...Not about Vaseline, but how's this one ?

A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She put on her robe and went downstairs. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She saw him wipe a tear from his eye and take a sip of his coffee.

"What's the matter dear? Why are you down here at this time of night?" she asked.

"Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating and you were only 16?" he asked.

"Yes, I do," she replied.

"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making out?"

"Yes, I remember."

"Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail?'"

"Yes, I do," she said.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "You know...I would have gotten out today."