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  1. When you and the aunt are alone, look her in the...

    When you and the aunt are alone, look her in the eyes and gently say "Does diabetes run in our family?"
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    203,194

    OH Lord! This gal is perfect.

    OH Lord! This gal is perfect.
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    I don't know about the morgue. Chances are after...

    I don't know about the morgue. Chances are after the inital tuds, it would be quiet. When I was in college my apartment neighbor for about 3 months was a hooker. Her bedroom was right against mine. ...
  4. Tell him he can suck your dick only if he pays...

    Tell him he can suck your dick only if he pays you some serious money for gear.
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    Why the hell are you guys worrying about what to...

    Why the hell are you guys worrying about what to wear at the gym? None of you lift anyway.
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    Well with six kids and no old man, she has to...

    Well with six kids and no old man, she has to know a thing or two in the sack.
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    Wonder how many of you reprobates would tap that...

    Wonder how many of you reprobates would tap that shit. The mother not the kid you pervs.
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    Oh that kid was so screwed. He had to make a...

    Oh that kid was so screwed. He had to make a choice, "Do I stand here and let my mother slap the shit out of me? And get the shit kicked out of me by the guys for a year because I'm a momma's boy"...
  9. Thread: Nice Squat

    by dogsoldier
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    896

    That made me squirm. The popping sound were his...

    That made me squirm. The popping sound were his knees dislocating.
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    Why? You got the hots for her? You kinky SOB.

    Why? You got the hots for her? You kinky SOB.
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    516

    Wonder how many teeth those people had between...

    Wonder how many teeth those people had between them? My guess is 4.
  12. Thread: Dog People

    by dogsoldier
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    384
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    29,258

    I want to meet the cock sucker that cut that dogs...

    I want to meet the cock sucker that cut that dogs feet off and let him in a parking lot.
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    I know this is about a month old, but...why did...

    I know this is about a month old, but...why did they prescribe blood thinners with pneumonia? I have had it about 5 times in my life and all I got was some really string antibiotics and antivirals.
  14. Thread: order

    by dogsoldier
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    I looked at all three of your posts today. ...

    I looked at all three of your posts today.

    We've been dipping into mommy's medicine cabinet again, haven't we?
  15. Thread: Poop Bandit

    by dogsoldier
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    635

    That looks strangely like Azza.

    That looks strangely like Azza.
  16. A fool and his money is soon parted. Some smart...

    A fool and his money is soon parted. Some smart guy said that.
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    Get inside his extra long reach and break his...

    Get inside his extra long reach and break his ribs. At 7' tall, you can't help but go for the breadbasket and end up hitting him in the balls.
  18. Fucking nuke them all.

    Fucking nuke them all.
  19. Yeah we got one of those crazies here in AZ. She...

    Yeah we got one of those crazies here in AZ. She wanted to regulate the amount of cleavage a women's dress can show to no more than 2 inches. That one never got out of committee.
  20. Thread: Anal sex

    by dogsoldier
    Replies
    23
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    1,934

    My first wife took it in the ass like a champ. I...

    My first wife took it in the ass like a champ. I was the one who insisted on using a condom. Something about shit on my dick that didn't work for me. My final wife told me in no uncertain terms,...
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    Wow! Power Ranger's star goes to the dark side. ...

    Wow! Power Ranger's star goes to the dark side. You know, now the California legislature will be calling for registration of all swords.
  22. There is no such thing as a "great high protein...

    There is no such thing as a "great high protein diet". You eat copious amounts of protein, lean beef, turkey, white chicken, fish and so on. Keep your carbs and fats in the 30% range range. Lift...
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    got to admit, the professor has a set of balls. ...

    got to admit, the professor has a set of balls. "Hey honey...I just invented a fat burning vest...here put it on!" Oh yeah, that got him laid.
  24. Jeez, this winter shit is getting old. It only...

    Jeez, this winter shit is getting old. It only got up to 67 degrees today in Tucson. People are wearing parkas.
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    That is what it looks like in the hall when the...

    That is what it looks like in the hall when the Women's Studies faculty have a meeting.
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