Sounds like some of you need some pointers, so here`s the 12 step program :D
The first sensual touch you should consider is sticking a pinkie into your own armpit. Does it stink? Are the hairs matted together with hard, crusty gunk? Remember that while the world's most beautiful women love to hump hideous men, no woman wants to come within 30 feet of a man who reeks of industrial grade body odour. Bathe, shave, wash-out your arse-cleft, change your underwear, brush your tongue, check for zits and put a little gel in your hair. And never, ever, wear cologne that costs under $50 - bottled farts will attract more women.