I got laid!!!

CRASHMAN · 03-23-2003, 06:17 PM

Alright since dave, dero, and crono were so interested i had to post this...i was gonna do it anyway

so i get home from work and the phone rings and i was like cool so it was my freinds sister

i answer the phone and her and her friends want me to come hang out and so i was like fuuuuck ya! so i go get the girls (4 of them) and roll up to a party they didn't drink or anything so i really didn't think i was gonna get any

then there was a fight at the party and it got all broken up so we went back to my friends sisters house and it was hot as hell in the house so i take off my sweat shirt and the girls were like "your so muscley let me see your muscles" i was humble about it "no i don't have muscles" etc.... so they finally talk me into flexing and of course i do and ones like dam thats the size of my head i was all proud and shit so we all chill there and then they wanted a ride back to their other friends house so i'm like cool and ones like give me a ride to my house to so i'm cool so i drop off the 3 girls then i drive the other girl to her house we were saying bye then she gives me a hug then jumps on me like white on rice on a paper plate in a snow storm i was like fuck ya but my dumb ass didn't put the car in park so i take my foot off the brake. so i notice that the car is rolling and slam on the brake she goes flyin off the seat fuck thought i killed the moment that time but no i didn't so we get to work then i get to the bra mother fuger!

can't they make those things with velcrow or somethin serious so after 10 minutes of double hand bra undoing i finally get the shit undone then we get goin. i'm gettin the condom on SNAP!! the condom breaks the only condom i have

!! so i was like mother fucker this shit ain't endin this way so i'm like were goin to 7-11 put our cloths on shirt on backwards ripped pants cause she didn't do the zipper all the way on my pants hair messed up all sweat i come pealing out around the coner by the 7-11 the guys out side smokin i run in past him grab a pack of condoms we start laughin and we get the fuck outa there then i remeber no ones home at my friends we charge in that house go in his room and do our bissness by this time i was not in the mood for fourplay so we get all ready fuckin right there MOTHER FUCKER!!!! i forgot the condoms in the car so i'm sick on this i throw on my shoes on i don't care if i'm naked charge out to the car grab the condoms run back to the house BAM! fat face plant i tripped over a sprinkler on the lawn truely fuckin painfull any way i run my ass up stairs we get back to work.....and i came up for a good idea for a practical joke a farting condom like when you open it it farts that'd be fuckin hilarious.....anyway we do our thing we started at like 3 ended at like 6 after all that it was a great night

david · 03-23-2003, 06:27 PM

You are such a CLUCK sometimes! I would've highlighted certain things in here and made gestures at it but the whole damn thing is funny!

You are such a nut! Now, post some pictures of your first lay, virgin boy! A normal picture of her, please. Nudes of you are not required!

Congratulations though! You should be like all set for the next two months! Now, are you going to try to have a relationship with her???

Why is this in sexual health though. Your not teaching us anything but how to over react when losing your virginity!

Just kidding, Crash!

Crono1000 · 03-23-2003, 06:27 PM

that's one long ass sentence. Dude, ya need to get laid more, practice makes perfect

david · 03-23-2003, 06:44 PM

What sucked was he talked about more of his fuck ups then him fucking....

Crash! Was Part 2? Dero wants to know!

Crono1000 · 03-23-2003, 06:46 PM

tell us the good stuff. C'mon we're all friends here.

Crono1000 · 03-23-2003, 06:46 PM

did she touch your butthole?

Titanya · 03-23-2003, 06:57 PM

i can't imagine anyone still wanting to have sex with you after all that

david · 03-23-2003, 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Crono1000
did she touch your butthole?

You went there...... unbeleivable! Shouldn't it be the other way around? Did he touch her there??

Crono1000 · 03-23-2003, 07:02 PM

there' Titanya. you have a lot of catching up to do after today. You've been brought up in probably the top 10 sumthin threads in some way or another. You'd think you had spunk or something with all this fame you're getting.

Crono1000 · 03-23-2003, 07:05 PM

there's no telling what screwups happened during the sex. Did you at least put it in the right hole? There's two down there, get the right one.

or did ya stick it in her belly button?

would probably be a better fit

kuso · 03-23-2003, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CRASHMAN
i don't care if i'm naked charge out to the car grab the condoms run back to the house BAM! fat face plant i tripped over a sprinkler on the lawn truely fuckin painfull

Anyone else think he actually broke his boner here and the rest of the story is what he PLANNED rather than what happened??

Dero · 03-23-2003, 07:55 PM

Pianomahnn · 03-23-2003, 08:32 PM

Kuso is funny2me!!!!

david · 03-23-2003, 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Titanya
i can't imagine anyone still wanting to have sex with you after all that

Personally I think he fell asleep watching Porky's and then dreamnt that he was Pee Wee!

Crono1000 · 03-23-2003, 09:09 PM

I knew his story sounded familar

lean_n_76er · 03-23-2003, 11:11 PM

Congrats to Crash!

Naw, he really didn't get laid...

he came when he hit the lawn cause he found a gopher hole and he ended up pokin her with a stick!

Burner02 · 03-23-2003, 11:44 PM

hey crash....not exactly the most romantic way..but it..worked...

**I Are Baboon** · 03-24-2003, 07:25 AM

Crash, you are one smooooooth mofo.

david · 03-24-2003, 09:15 AM

Oh lord! People, your egging him on!

cornfed · 03-24-2003, 10:02 AM

Damn, boy, I'm impressed

irontime · 03-24-2003, 10:15 AM

Holy shit Crash, with the way your story was going I was almost expecting you to say that you prematuraly ejaculated.

Well at least one thing went right eh? Nice work bro.

MJ23 · 03-24-2003, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CRASHMAN
they didn't drink or anything so i really didn't think i was gonna get any

U could of stopped right here...

Kuso

Yeah, I definitely believe this one

CRASHMAN · 03-24-2003, 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by david
Why is this in sexual health though. Your not teaching us anything but how to over react when losing your virginity!

Just kidding, Crash!

Hey shut up i wasn't a virgin

i had sex before that

CRASHMAN · 03-24-2003, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Crono1000

or did ya stick it in her belly button?

would probably be a better fit

i don't wanna hear about your exsperiences with TIT

CRASHMAN · 03-24-2003, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by lean_n_76er
Congrats to Crash!

Naw, he really didn't get laid...

he came when he hit the lawn cause he found a gopher hole and he ended up pokin her with a stick!

i poked her with my stick

CRASHMAN · 03-24-2003, 01:30 PM

I'll write the Dirty details later when i'm not in a public place

lina · 03-24-2003, 02:38 PM

Crashman, you do have a knack for accidents!

Good job on getting that condom and being responsible.

CRASHMAN · 03-24-2003, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by lina
Crashman, you do have a knack for accidents!

Good job on getting that condom and being responsible.

thank you....i don't want a kid right now!

but i do wish i got a # LOL

03-23-2003, 06:17 PM	#1
CRASHMAN SoCal. Stud Elite Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: in a box on a corner near you Posts: 10,081 Photos: 2	I got laid!!! Alright since dave, dero, and crono were so interested i had to post this...i was gonna do it anyway so i get home from work and the phone rings and i was like cool so it was my freinds sister i answer the phone and her and her friends want me to come hang out and so i was like fuuuuck ya! so i go get the girls (4 of them) and roll up to a party they didn't drink or anything so i really didn't think i was gonna get any then there was a fight at the party and it got all broken up so we went back to my friends sisters house and it was hot as hell in the house so i take off my sweat shirt and the girls were like "your so muscley let me see your muscles" i was humble about it "no i don't have muscles" etc.... so they finally talk me into flexing and of course i do and ones like dam thats the size of my head i was all proud and shit so we all chill there and then they wanted a ride back to their other friends house so i'm like cool and ones like give me a ride to my house to so i'm cool so i drop off the 3 girls then i drive the other girl to her house we were saying bye then she gives me a hug then jumps on me like white on rice on a paper plate in a snow storm i was like fuck ya but my dumb ass didn't put the car in park so i take my foot off the brake. so i notice that the car is rolling and slam on the brake she goes flyin off the seat fuck thought i killed the moment that time but no i didn't so we get to work then i get to the bra mother fuger! can't they make those things with velcrow or somethin serious so after 10 minutes of double hand bra undoing i finally get the shit undone then we get goin. i'm gettin the condom on SNAP!! the condom breaks the only condom i have !! so i was like mother fucker this shit ain't endin this way so i'm like were goin to 7-11 put our cloths on shirt on backwards ripped pants cause she didn't do the zipper all the way on my pants hair messed up all sweat i come pealing out around the coner by the 7-11 the guys out side smokin i run in past him grab a pack of condoms we start laughin and we get the fuck outa there then i remeber no ones home at my friends we charge in that house go in his room and do our bissness by this time i was not in the mood for fourplay so we get all ready fuckin right there MOTHER FUCKER!!!! i forgot the condoms in the car so i'm sick on this i throw on my shoes on i don't care if i'm naked charge out to the car grab the condoms run back to the house BAM! fat face plant i tripped over a sprinkler on the lawn truely fuckin painfull any way i run my ass up stairs we get back to work.....and i came up for a good idea for a practical joke a farting condom like when you open it it farts that'd be fuckin hilarious.....anyway we do our thing we started at like 3 ended at like 6 after all that it was a great night
	230_225_220_215_210_205_200_195_190_185_180 \|----\|----\|----\|----\|----\|----\|----\|----\|---\|----\| <- that way about 20 more pounds!

03-23-2003, 07:55 PM	#12
Dero Registered User Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 10,779 Photos: 6
	Senior citizen at work, don't bugg me.

03-23-2003, 11:11 PM	#16
lean_n_76er Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: right where I want to be Posts: 2,225	Congrats to Crash! Naw, he really didn't get laid... he came when he hit the lawn cause he found a gopher hole and he ended up pokin her with a stick!
	Where there is smoke, there is not enough lubrication!

03-23-2003, 11:44 PM	#17
Burner02 Super Hero in Training Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Tip of the spear! Posts: 28,316	hey crash....not exactly the most romantic way..but it..worked...
	Success leaves clues. People who produce outstanding results do specific things to create those results Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing NOW to solve our problem THERE IS NO TOMORROW! - Appollo Creed

03-24-2003, 10:02 AM	#20
cornfed Sweet 'lil Innocent Mod Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: serenity now insanity later Posts: 1,802	Damn, boy, I'm impressed
	- "If I ever run into Dave Grohl, I'm gonna kick his fuqqin' ass... because he sucks and he wrote this cheese-dick song for Ozzy that I have to fuqqin' play on and I'll never forgive him for that. Foo Fighters is a fuqqin' candy-ass girl band but you've got that mother-fuqqer submitting songs [for the album], and those douchebags from the Offspring, too." "...Dave Grohl? Fuq Dave Grohl! ...you're getting this guy to write songs for Ozzy? Just because he played drums for fuqqing Sh!tvana?" --- Zakk Wylde --- ---Dimebag Darrel RIP---

03-23-2003, 06:27 PM	#2
david EAST COAST BRAT Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Waterworld, FL Posts: 25,419 Photos: 2	You are such a CLUCK sometimes! I would've highlighted certain things in here and made gestures at it but the whole damn thing is funny! You are such a nut! Now, post some pictures of your first lay, virgin boy! A normal picture of her, please. Nudes of you are not required! Congratulations though! You should be like all set for the next two months! Now, are you going to try to have a relationship with her??? Why is this in sexual health though. Your not teaching us anything but how to over react when losing your virginity! Just kidding, Crash!

03-23-2003, 06:27 PM	#3
Crono1000 Peelosopher Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 5,768 Photos: 11	that's one long ass sentence. Dude, ya need to get laid more, practice makes perfect

03-23-2003, 06:44 PM	#4
david EAST COAST BRAT Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Waterworld, FL Posts: 25,419 Photos: 2	What sucked was he talked about more of his fuck ups then him fucking.... Crash! Was Part 2? Dero wants to know!

03-23-2003, 06:46 PM	#5
Crono1000 Peelosopher Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 5,768 Photos: 11	tell us the good stuff. C'mon we're all friends here.

03-23-2003, 06:57 PM	#7
Titanya I'm Pritty! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Puerto Rico Posts: 1,324	i can't imagine anyone still wanting to have sex with you after all that

03-23-2003, 07:02 PM	#9
Crono1000 Peelosopher Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 5,768 Photos: 11	there' Titanya. you have a lot of catching up to do after today. You've been brought up in probably the top 10 sumthin threads in some way or another. You'd think you had spunk or something with all this fame you're getting.

03-23-2003, 07:05 PM	#10
Crono1000 Peelosopher Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 5,768 Photos: 11	there's no telling what screwups happened during the sex. Did you at least put it in the right hole? There's two down there, get the right one. or did ya stick it in her belly button? would probably be a better fit

03-23-2003, 08:32 PM	#13
Pianomahnn I bike to work. Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 1,224 Photos: 6	Kuso is funny2me!!!!

03-23-2003, 09:09 PM	#15
Crono1000 Peelosopher Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 5,768 Photos: 11	I knew his story sounded familar

03-24-2003, 07:25 AM	#18
I Are Baboon pedal pedal pedal Moderator Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Beerville Posts: 10,904 Photos: 10	Crash, you are one smooooooth mofo.

03-24-2003, 09:15 AM	#19
david EAST COAST BRAT Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Waterworld, FL Posts: 25,419 Photos: 2	Oh lord! People, your egging him on!

03-24-2003, 10:15 AM	#21
irontime The Original Jackass Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: If not here, then on some porn site. Posts: 5,101 Photos: 1	Holy shit Crash, with the way your story was going I was almost expecting you to say that you prematuraly ejaculated. Well at least one thing went right eh? Nice work bro.
	If god were suddenly condemned to live the life which he has inflicted on man, he would kill himself. - Alexander Dumas (1802 - 1870)

03-24-2003, 01:30 PM	#26
CRASHMAN SoCal. Stud Elite Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: in a box on a corner near you Posts: 10,081 Photos: 2	I'll write the Dirty details later when i'm not in a public place
	230_225_220_215_210_205_200_195_190_185_180 \|----\|----\|----\|----\|----\|----\|----\|----\|---\|----\| <- that way about 20 more pounds!

03-24-2003, 02:38 PM	#27
lina It's a Wonderful Life!!! Elite Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Lounging around... Posts: 2,797	Crashman, you do have a knack for accidents! Good job on getting that condom and being responsible.