Thread: Curious?

Well if you were married I would say it is wrong if your marriage is based on religious fundamentals.

If marriage for you is just for the security of a commitment or to gain public approval for living togather then anything goes.

If marriage is not religious for you but still based on love and respect then it is highly questionable. If you love and respect another that you make a lifetime commitment then why the need for a third party?

If you are married for conveinience but are both horny beyond measure and cannot be satisfied by one person then why not a four, five or sixsome? Heck, just schedule regular orgies on weekends and start a spam e-mail campaign to attract fresh meat.

Just my honest opinion. No offense intended.

Originally posted by BabsieGirl
I'm curious to find out.

How many of you have considered having a threesome?

yes

Who have tried and liked it and who have tried and didn't like it?

It was very cool

What did you like, what didn't you like and would you do it again?

it was total chaos
yep, we'd do it again

Would you consider doing this if you were married? If you have, did it put any strain on your relationship or did it make your sex life better?

we did it while being married
it made sex after the 3'some very hot

Who consider this act, a form of cheating and why?

[/quote]
Not if it's with your spouse, otherwise of course.

NT has asked me to answer my own questions. I'm a horn dog anyway, plus I can get pretty kinky...Here goes

1. I was WAY drunk Saturday and this thought POPPED in my head while at the club. The girls and I got to talking and I got to thinking......Well, when this thought came to mind, I asked the girls if they have ever had a threesome before or have ever thought about it. After I heard myself say that, I thought, HELL, WHY NOT JUST ASK THE HUBBY IF HE EVER would....So, I call him over and I ask. He was shocked that I asked because, I don't like to "share" my prize. Later on, we go home and I'm so ready for him to give it to me. I rip his clothes off, etc.......Well, my hubby and I get to talking during this......and he asks me if I was serious..(about a threesome).........I told him yes and no. Yes, because it would be interesting and exciting for him to see his wife with another lady and I'd like to fullfill his fantasies....No, because I dont think I'd be able to watch him pleasure someone else. I don't know how I would feel seeing this. That, and I wouldn't want him thinking that he can go off and have sex with other people with out me. This is my fear, that I don't want it to stem into "permission" to cheat. Then I got to thinking even more......"Would he allow me to involve another guy....like one time with another girl and then the next with a man?" He's the jealous type so I don't think that another guy in the picture would appease him HOWEVER, I don't want it to be a one way street either.

2. I have never tried it. Want to but am unsure.

3. I cannot answer. which, is why I'm asking.

4. I am married however, I don't want our marriage to fall apart due to this kind of "experiment."

5. I agree this is considered an act of cheating HOWEVER, the other person, meaning your spouse or lover would have to consent and be present/participate at that time. This would be my way of "allowing" my hubby to "cheat" with out doing it behind my back.

I've heard of marriages that fall apart because one of the two gets too carried away...i.e.: one wants to stop having this activity and the other wants to continue.

I'm curious. Was it the alcohol talking? Is this something I want to do or, am I just trying to find ways to keep my hubby from cheating, or will it only encourage him to?

Opinions?

I just wanted to add.....If no one feels "brave" enough to reply to this thread, you can send me a PM.

Only you can answer if it was the alcohol talking. Many say things while drinking that they wouldn't normally say/think sober.

There are many variations of swinging for lack of a better term. We've seen it all. A few examples:
a) the couple the play together with others in the same room.
b) the couple that play together, but like separate rooms.
c) the couple that allow their spouse/sig other to play away from the other.
d) the couple that does not allow penetration - only forplay.

Can this hurt a marriage - Absolutely!! Both parties have to be very comfortable with the idea. If either party has doubts, then engaging in extra bedroom activities won't help those doubts. We've met many couples where the male is quite excited and the female would sit during dinner/drinks and only nod her head as if she's doing him a favour or worse, is afraid or has been strongarmed into playing. It has to be agreed upon by both in the relationship otherwise it's just trouble.

a two way street ... if you think it should be, then it should be. If your hubby is unwilling to play that way, then I don't know that you should be considering it. If you're ok with just another woman joining you, then that's your call. Jealously will kill your relationship faster than you can say 'threesome'. In fact, I went to play pool with a friend from work. He had invited a couple to come along. Somehow the topic of extra ciricular bedroom activities came up. That always intrigues me Anyway, the hubby mentioned something about a test at work where they would test concentration by having pictures of naked playboy types next to questions (or something to that effect). The wife heard this while shooting pool and immediately came over to ask why he was talking about Playboy anything. I laughed to myself and thought, there is a couple who is not ready for anything like that.

Sometimes it's best to leave the fantasy as a fantasy.

Thanks for sharing NT. I think "D" of your lists of "There are couples who...." Would make me feel comfortable in doing this. Only because, the "penetration" part means something, at least to me and that type of "feeling" is meant to be shared between two people who really love/care about one another. It's a form of unity.

Last night I asked my husband if he would mind another man being involved and his comment was, "I doubt I would ever do a threesome period but I wouldn't mind watching you and another girl while giving you 80% of my attention!" My thoughts are this.....If this is something we'd like to try, then we should talk about it (in detail) and set game rules, that way....no one should get pissed off.

I believe this was the alcohol talking HOWEVER I've been curious ever since my ex fiance and I were friends with Swingers. They are no longer married as his wife took things a little too far. Led to divorce.

Next question.......How would you go about finding another "play mate?"

Originally posted by BabsieGirl
... Is this something I want to do or, am I just trying to find ways to keep my hubby from cheating, or will it only encourage him to?

Opinions?

I don't think this will stop/hinder someone from cheating. If they were going to do it, then they would regardless. Most of those we've met do it for the sexual excitement of the act. I do know that some cheat, but I believe it was prior to them being a couple. It is important to ensure that both know what the boundaries are in such a relationship. What are each other comfortable with? Some couples do not allow kissing as they find this much more personal than the act itself. And as long as everyone understands, is comfortable with and abides by the rules then it can be an sexually exciting event.

We know a couple where both seem ok to allow the other to 'play' without the other being around. For us, that defeats the purpose of playing. For them, it was ok though.

Originally posted by BabsieGirl
Thanks for sharing NT. I think "D" of your lists of "There are couples who...." Would make me feel comfortable in doing this. Only because, the "penetration" part means something, at least to me and that type of "feeling" is meant to be shared between two people who really love/care about one another. It's a form of unity.

Last night I asked my husband if he would mind another man being involved and his comment was, "I doubt I would ever do a threesome period but I wouldn't mind watching you and another girl while giving you 80% of my attention!" My thoughts are this.....If this is something we'd like to try, then we should talk about it (in detail) and set game rules, that way....no one should get pissed off.

I believe this was the alcohol talking HOWEVER I've been curious ever since my ex fiance and I were friends with Swingers. They are no longer married as his wife took things a little too far. Led to divorce.

Next question.......How would you go about finding another "play mate?"

Websites are often a good way to scout out others. Most have pictures available so you can see what you're getting into.

Two questions. Please do not misinterprete them as this is really none of mine or anyone elses business.

Are you disatisfied with your husband? Is your sex life unfulfilling?

Do not answer, just think about it. Again, no offense at all intended here.

Originally posted by naturaltan
I don't think this will stop/hinder someone from cheating. If they were going to do it, then they would regardless. Most of those we've met do it for the sexual excitement of the act.

My idea is for sexual excitement, plus.

It is important to ensure that both know what the boundaries are in such a relationship.

What boundaries are reasonable? What boundaries have you and your wife set?[/quote]

Some couples do not allow kissing as they find this much more personal than the act itself.

Now that you mentioned the kissing...I don't think I would allow that either. I don't want to be "intimate" with another man....I just want to play, nothing serious. Just HOT foreplay, then attack the hubby......Then again....Why only a threesome??? Seems a bit unfair to the other person involved...I think a couple would be more fair that way, when my husband comes to me, she'll have someone to .....attend to her.

And as long as everyone understands, is comfortable with and abides by the rules then it can be an sexually exciting event.

I believe so too. However what if the rule gets broke? How would you handle that situation?

We know a couple where both seem ok to allow the other to 'play' without the other being around. For us, that defeats the purpose of playing. For them, it was ok though.

I agree it would defeat the purpose of playing. That's the point!

I have some friends of mine that are "SWINGERS" and they have some rules but they aren't that strict. Their philosophy is that they are basically lucky to be with one another. They can love one another and yet still be open sexually. I respect that. A lot of people can't deal with that subject.

what are their rules?

Originally posted by BabsieGirl
What boundaries are reasonable? What boundaries have you and your wife set?

Our rules are very simple ... we play together or not at all. When one leaves the room (for whatever/any reason) then the playing stops.

Now that you mentioned the kissing...I don't think I would allow that either. I don't want to be "intimate" with another man....I just want to play, nothing serious. Just HOT foreplay, then attack the hubby......Then again....Why only a threesome??? Seems a bit unfair to the other person involved...I think a couple would be more fair that way, when my husband comes to me, she'll have someone to .....attend to her.

in most FFM (female female male) threesomes, the women are bisexual, so they find things to do when not with the male. :o

However what if the rule gets broke? How would you handle that situation?

I first we didn't have any rules and were only going to see what it was all about. We were invited to a house party. My wife left in the midst of playing to get a drink and I was with the female. She was uncomfortable with that. We discussed it after the party at home and came up with the same room rule. We talk about each encounter to ensure that everything done excited the other. When one states that is didn't, we're done.

Originally posted by MeatheadSam
Two questions. Please do not misinterprete them as this is really none of mine or anyone elses business.

Are you disatisfied with your husband? Is your sex life unfulfilling?

Do not answer, just think about it. Again, no offense at all intended here.

I don't know that it's about being disatified with your spouse. It's just adding to the sexual side of the relationship. I understand from your point of view how it might/can create trouble. But in relationships where it does work, it can add a lot to the sexual relationshiop between couples.

Meatheadsam ... you are amongst the majority in your thoughts about the subject.

I like your rule. If one leaves the room, the playing stops. That would suck though

So, when your wife left the room, what were you and the other gal doing?

Originally posted by BabsieGirl
So, when your wife left the room, what were you and the other gal doing?

Ugh.....okay...don't share...<puts hands on hips and stomps foot and says....huh!

Thanks for sharing NT. I appreciate your time and opinions.

Originally posted by naturaltan
I don't know that it's about being disatified with your spouse. It's just adding to the sexual side of the relationship. I understand from your point of view how it might/can create trouble. But in relationships where it does work, it can add a lot to the sexual relationshiop between couples.

Meatheadsam ... you are amongst the majority in your thoughts about the subject.

I am more open minded than I might seem. But I am completely satisfied with my wife and our sex life.

But I am not blind nor dead and do appreciate a beautiful female form just as my wife appreciates a good looking male. But I will never need another to get me stimulated for action. If My wife so much as gazes in my direction I am ready to throw off the clothes .

Originally posted by BabsieGirl
Ugh.....okay...don't share...<puts hands on hips and stomps foot and says....huh!

Thanks for sharing NT. I appreciate your time and opinions.

I'm pretty sure you can make something up.

Originally posted by MeatheadSam
I am more open minded than I might seem. But I am completely satisfied with my wife and our sex life.

But I am not blind nor dead and do appreciate a beautiful female form just as my wife appreciates a good looking male. But I will never need another to get me stimulated for action. If My wife so much as gazes in my direction I am ready to throw off the clothes .

Can I get a HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!

Originally posted by MeatheadSam
I am more open minded than I might seem. But I am completely satisfied with my wife and our sex life.

But I am not blind nor dead and do appreciate a beautiful female form just as my wife appreciates a good looking male. But I will never need another to get me stimulated for action. If My wife so much as gazes in my direction I am ready to throw off the clothes .

I can appreciate that! For most, it doesn't work and that's cool. I think we're sorta have the same understanding. I do not and will not need another woman to stimulate me. But as you said, you appreciate a beautiful female as does your wife appreciate a handsome man. I guess we as a couple have just taken that appreciation further than most.

it makes a stable, loving compassionate relationship all the more so. If one of the partners is greedy, insecure, manipulative or rather self-centered, these sort of relationships fall apart as soon as the swinging starts. Some marriages are an eternal power struggle/game between the two spouses, and an open marriage does not work for these people.

if you and your parter are both givers and enjoy assisting the other's pleasurable pursuits then it seems to work. IF one of you is the least bit more of a taker, then it is destined to result in some disastrous encounters.

as a general rule, it takes forever to get the woman to become involved in such a lifestyle yet once involved, it takes forever to get them out. they love it!

meet people, broach the subject with your female friends who you find sexually exciting.
go soft swap first. Make sure that your partner knows what it is that you are doing when or if he is not around. Never assume anything.

it's all pretty enjoyable. you have to be honest and upfront and willing to accept what happens.

Naturaltan..."Sometimes it's best to leave the fantasy as a fantasy". I agree with you on that completley i mean god knows that we all have crazy and kinky fantasys about sex, but sometimes it is just better to stay that way.... for example, I love my girlfriend and we have a prety good relationship yet I do think about different women all the time and "fantasyse" about them but when its all over and i think about it again I realize that Sex and intimacy is our time together and our expression of love in a way for one of other and i wouldn't like anyone to interfer into that moment, so be carefull what you do, because lust can get the best of us and after it all done you find asking yourself "WHAT HAVE I DONE " ???? . I dont know if you can understand what i mean with this but i tried to explain it the best I can, good luck now......... heheeheheh, also I do fanasyse about my ex- and my current girlfriend together, damn she had some good skills

Also, i would like to include that "SWINGERS" are really not a good couple, If you wanna fuck other people than don't get married, also think about the afect it would cause to your marrige in the long run, you are going to stop trusting on another and even stop caring what the other does and even fall in love with someone else and just screw up the "flame" you have for one another and before you know it you screwed up you life together just because you tried some different ass. Im not trying to be a smartass and i am very young and not even married but i know a lot and lot of things about relationships because of my own personal experience and because I've done so much research on the "perfect" relationship....(there is none). (i am realy considersing going into that kind of career in the future )

Originally posted by naturaltan
Sometimes it's best to leave the fantasy as a fantasy.

I think this sums up my thoughts exactly. Some of the stuff I think is HOT, I bet I'd hate if we actually acted it out. My wife is not into anything anywhere close to a threesome esp. an additional female, so this conversation is not going to happen in my world.

well, i think talking to your spouse about this kind of subject can be helthy and is good to see what the other person thinks about that sort of thing but remember you need to be confortable with one another completley and trusting and knowing that the other is saying the truth, talking about it and acting it out is a cmopletely different thing.....................