Flex

I just finished college, so i have a million, although many are kinda hazy since i'm a rockstar and spent many-a-nights blacked out.

Anyhow, what are your funny sex stories? or ones that you've heard?

we're talking TRUE ones people, not ones you made up.

This should be iiiiiiiiiiiinteresting.

You're a funny guy, Sully, I like you. Dat's why I'm going to kill you lahst.


* Got juice?*Need Motivation?*How to Train*
*Arnold vs. Ronnie vs. Haney vs. Sergio*
*YEAH BUDDY...LIGHT WEIGHT!*Ahhnold*

Flex

Where to start?

I have over a million, since my buddies were the biggest scumbags alive, but they'll come to me slowly.

I'll start with this one....

My boy finally had sex with this chick he liked who lived next door. As their lying in bed, she asks "since we're probably gonna be sleeping together, i'd like to know how many girls you've been with".

Obviously my buddy is feelign awkward as hell, so he's like "uhhhh, not sure." She asks "over ten?" He says "yes". She asks "over twenty?". He says "yes". She is now starting to get real weirded out and asks, "over thirty?" He says "well, i've been to Cancun". She gets outta bed without saying a word, puts her clothes on, and doesn't talk to him again hahaha.

You're a funny guy, Sully, I like you. Dat's why I'm going to kill you lahst.


* Got juice?*Need Motivation?*How to Train*
*Arnold vs. Ronnie vs. Haney vs. Sergio*
*YEAH BUDDY...LIGHT WEIGHT!*Ahhnold*

Flex

Not that funny?

well, there's more.

So my buddy is derailing this other chick in the living room of his college apartment. He has her bent over and doing her doggystyle, when 3 heads poke in through the wall of his living room. (they broke a huge whole in the wall while partying, and covered it with a poster. aparently he didn't know, and wouldn't you know it, the girl from the above story is one of the chicks who peeks in)

You're a funny guy, Sully, I like you. Dat's why I'm going to kill you lahst.


* Got juice?*Need Motivation?*How to Train*
*Arnold vs. Ronnie vs. Haney vs. Sergio*
*YEAH BUDDY...LIGHT WEIGHT!*Ahhnold*

da jock

1. Me & my wife had sex sort of standing doggie sex in our claw-foot bathtub /shower last summer. We kept slipping and sliding, when she came her legs sort of gave out and she banged her knees up, when I came I pumped too hard and lost my balance & smacked her head against the wall & bruised my elbow! We should of just jumped into bed.

2. (5 years ago or so) When we were dating we were banging doggie (again) on her couch. I had one leg on the floor & one bent on the couch arm, she had one leg on the flloor & one arm on the coffee table. When we started cumming her arm slipped off the table & she tumbled forward I fell backward. So she was groaning/laughing finishing her self off on the floor & I had shot cum everywhere & banged my head on the floor! We had to clean up before her roomies came back! We laughed hysterically!

3. Just a funny thing. when I was like 13? I jacked off with vaseline, it of course felt awesome! But, it took literally like a week to get my package totally clean again,that stuff never comes off! I was afraid somehow someone would find out my dirty secret!!

Mudge

One of my favorites was a guy talking about slipping in the shower while trying to have sex and falling through a glass door.

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When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. Lao-Tzu
I don't know any sources so don't ask - thanks

Mudge

"...and I took the town, they never knew what..... screwed em..."

Kinesiology Vote @ Top 25 Deads Comp Bench
Motivation Bench form MaxCalc Charles Poliquin
When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. Lao-Tzu
I don't know any sources so don't ask - thanks

448448

I have these two friends(a couple) they went to cancun, and had a few threesomes. they have had hiv for a few years.

MaxMirkin

Damn, that is hilarious!!!

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ponyboy

When I was in school I lived in a frat house on the same floor as a guy that was kind of a freak - he always had these weird goth chicks in and out all the time. One day as I'm walking to the bathroom I hear a voice calling out from his room. I knock on the door and hear a girl's voice quietly asking for help. Opening the door, there is a girl handcuffed to this guys' bed naked - he had gone to class and left her there sleeping chained up! She couldn't reach the key!

Funny thing was she wasn't pissed about being left there. She just needed to go to the bathroom. She was pretty hot too. Freaking weirdos.

Today I can do what others will not so that tomorrow I will do what others cannot.

The difference between winners and losers is that winners do things that losers don't want to do.

Goodfella9783

I went to the movies with a buddy and his girlfriend to see the movie "Phone Booth." In the middle of the movie he gets the idea he wants to bang his girl right there in the seat next to me. So he asks my permission first (what a nice guy), and of course I'm not gonna cock block. So he and his girl then go at it in the seat next to me in a half full theater. Don't ask me how they didnt get caught.

ALBOB

Come on, you didn't blackmail her? "Sure bitch, I'll unlock the cuffs......................for a price." And don't even try to tell me she was too ugly. You were school age and she had a heartbeat. (At that age, if it's been too long, even the heartbeat isn't mandatory. )

Rules? You mean we have RULES for that???

da jock

As far as things I've seen (I wasn't the one having sex); I was a DJ @ college and was spinning @my best friends frat mixer (for free to meet girls & drink!). Around 4am I was wrapping things up & I noticed a Frat pledge was sitting over in a dark corner on a spent keg with a girl on his lap, figured they were prolly making out/what ever no big deal. A few minutes later they really started thrashing around and I noticed they were actually f**king. Somewhere in somebodies trunk there's a picture of him giving a thumbs up about a minute after busting with her still on his lap & his pants around his knees! Booze & hormones! What a mix!

Carpe Diem

I used to date this girl that liked to go to parties at peoples houses and have butt sex in thier bedrooms. One night we had snuck into someones bedroom for the usual when she only had a little Ky jelly left in her tube. It wasn't going well so I looked for somethig that might take the place of the KY.

I saw this big container of clear looking gel setting on the counter so I grabbed a handful of it. It worked fine for a couple of seconds then she started squirming and then finally going crazy.

The stuff I had used was hairgel and it had Alcohol in it as a drying agent.

We left right away and when we got to her apartment I went into the other bedroom to wash the stuff off my dick. My package had dried to my underwear and I had to tear it off like a big bandage.

ALBOB

Ummm..........what to say?...........ahhhhhhh..............what to say?...........errrrrrrr..............what to say?..................hmmmmmmm.................... .....FUCKING OUCH!!!

Rules? You mean we have RULES for that???

ponyboy

I think I was too weirded out and kind of disturbed. Tends to be a turnoff. Her "boyfriend" also probably had every STD known to man and I wasn't going near anything he touched with a ten foot pole. Plus I tend to not be into raping defenseless women. I think they are all good reasons.

Today I can do what others will not so that tomorrow I will do what others cannot.

The difference between winners and losers is that winners do things that losers don't want to do.

Vieope

FURtherness

JLB001

"When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on."

UrinalCakeEater

just the other night i was with my boyfriend. i think we all know where this ones headed. oops



so, where was I? i invited my boyfriend over for some candle lit dinner and a raunchy dick session. and let me tell you, we were in for a surprise. we started with dinner and a bubble bath. then we turned on some music (the new nickleback) needless to say, that led to some finger banging. he got me off once or twice just doing that. oh man! then we headed to the mall. i needed a comforter on my new bed. so we went to jc pennys. we were looking at the sheets when we saw a display bed. and right at that moment the new nickleback came on the loud speaker. the song was "photograph". no joke. my dick started to tingle a little bit. we ran hand in hand and jumped on the bed. we got in another fingerbang session that led to duel man explosions all over the place. boy, was it hot? me oh my.



the next day i missed my period. and now we are both 7 months pregnant

tallcall

Stop teasing me!!!

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Smooth=1

hahaha, some of the post are hilarious...

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Akon84

some good stories here lol

ReproMan

Band name.