Thread: So am I officially a dirty old man now?

The armless driver cant have this type of fun.

Well if that sort of behavior makes you a dirty old man, I think I'm sort of in there with you, hell I think we're just about all there with you.

Originally Posted by Crono1000

So like any good story this one begins with me masterbating. Titanya's been out of the house for the weekend and so I thought I'd take advantage of the alonetime: I've been holding out for 2 days straight so that today I could "beat" my old record of 7 times in 1 day. Well, given that the ol' ball and chain isn't around to tell me not to eat like a pig, I decided I'd get #3 out and then hit the Chinese Buffet for the special lunch price, get back home and then crank out #4 to the hot asian waitress who I would store in my spank bank. So I wrap up #3, tuck it in, and then head straight out of the apartment to get to the buffet in time, where I meet our new neighbor (a cute chick but I'm pretty sure she's a level 70 night elf priest in some other reality). I introduce myself, she introduces herself, we shake hands, and then I drive off.

However, it is then that I realize that not 20 seconds probably passed between me practicing to hold an eggroll and me shaking this poor, unsuspecting chick's hand. It just felt... kinda dirty, but kinda funny too.

nahhh I think it's more a matter of intention. A dirty old man would have that whole premeditated thing going on, and you didn't. The anticipation or her touch would be followed by the grin as his hand grasped hers. You were non-plussed about that part. There would be an uncontrollable need to hold the clasp of hands longer than she was comfortable with. You never mentioned it. All that closeness would of course be followed by a hurried walk directly to the nearest public men's room cuz a proper dirty old man would have no choice but to punch his clown within moments. You managed enough composure to make it home before you rubbed one out.

While you are not qualified to call yourself a dirty old man ... you do have potential.

Originally Posted by BoneCrusher

nahhh I think it's more a matter of intention. A dirty old man would have that whole premeditated thing going on, and you didn't. The anticipation or her touch would be followed by the grin as his hand grasped hers. You were non-plussed about that part. There would be an uncontrollable need to hold the clasp of hands longer than she was comfortable with. You never mentioned it. All that closeness would of course be followed by a hurried walk directly to the nearest public men's room cuz a proper dirty old man would have no choice but to punch his clown within moments. You managed enough composure to make it home before you rubbed one out.

While you are not qualified to call yourself a dirty old man ... you do have potential.

something tells me you know all this from experience

Originally Posted by Crono1000

something tells me you know all this from experience

...

lawlz

I rate this thread 10/10.

Outstanding work Crono.....outstanding.

7 times in one day must make you so sore afterwards that even getting a hard on would be painful as hell...

"Spank Bank" that's a good one.

Originally Posted by Plateau_Max

7 times in one day must make you so sore afterwards that even getting a hard on would be painful as hell...

"Spank Bank" that's a good one.

man, I never made it pass #6. I guess I'm just not 17 anymore

Originally Posted by Plateau_Max

7 times in one day must make you so sore afterwards that even getting a hard on would be painful as hell...

"Spank Bank" that's a good one.

aww shux . We women can do that in 40 minutes! .

Originally Posted by Crono1000

man, I never made it pass #6. I guess I'm just not 17 anymore

You can do anything you put your mind to. Now regroup, and try again!

Chrono Trigger is one of the best games ever.

You didn't wash your hands after wacking off, knowing that you were going to be eating a hands on buffet?

Originally Posted by FishOrCutBait

Chrono Trigger is one of the best games ever.

god it is. I downloaded a lot of the game's music this weekend, which is already great, but limewire is full of remixes of its songs and they're just freaking incredible.
Just try not to listen to this and cry


I love this game so much it's likely it was Chrono Trigger I was thinking about 20 seconds before shaking her hand

Originally Posted by soxmuscle

You didn't wash your hands after wacking off, knowing that you were going to be eating a hands on buffet?

I'm not sure, actually. I mean, I guess I usually wash my hands, but basically, I mean it was a Chinese buffet so, whatever was still on my hands was gonna be in my food anyway, why wash 'em?

Originally Posted by Crono1000

I'm not sure, actually. I mean, I guess I usually wash my hands, but basically, I mean it was a Chinese buffet so, whatever was still on my hands was gonna be in my food anyway, why wash 'em?

Extra protein! A little cum never hurt in anybody

Originally Posted by soxmuscle

Extra protein! A little cum never hurt in anybody

thats what i told my ex when she got some on her face

Originally Posted by soxmuscle

Extra protein! A little cum never hurt in anybody

Speaking from experience?











Just kidding

Originally Posted by soxmuscle

A little cum never hurt in anybody

That's what Freddie Mercury thought.