If you don't mind...

**NeilPearson** · 04-22-2008, 12:35 PM

Originally Posted by Edolie

He has severe OCD (obsessive Compulsive Disorder), which is why he takes the zoloft and anxiety meds. It slows down his train of thought and makes it easier for him to make it through the day.

Run, you don't need that in your life. I know I have a family member with OCD.

Originally Posted by Edolie

Since I first met him, he has changed a lot. He doesn't do as much of the OCD stuff as he used to and has started to travel again...which hasn't happened in around three years..

Of course he has. That's what kids do at that age.

Originally Posted by Edolie

Beh, there is way to much to describe it on here. I only bothered because you don't just throw something like this away because of sex problems.

Of course you do. If you are having sex problems at 24 and aren't even married or living together... it is time to pack it in. This is the time in the relationship that you should be banging it out every day.

Originally Posted by Edolie

We do have chemistry, we love spending time together...he can't stand being away from me for one night. If there is such a thing as true love, then this is it. I don't want to get all gushy, but that's just it. Before, I thought that I would never meet someone. Sure, he's odd, but he is an amazing person.

Oh my god, I think I am going to puke. Everyone thinks the same way you do. "We are in love. Our love is a special kind of love, nobody else could possibly understand. We truely love each other and we are going to make it!" Everyone says that. It is not all that uncommon. You never thought you would meet someone? Please, I gaurantee you that you will feel this way about someone else someday and with the next one, he will have sex with you and you won't have to worry about his OCD.

50% of marriages end up in divorce. Every single one of them felt that they were in love and were the exception to the rule. Now many will say, "yeah but 50% don't end in divorce." Guess what... out of that 50% how many are truely happy and how many stay together because of kids, family, financial or religious pressures? Don't fool yourself into thinking marriage works 50% just because they don't divorce.

Originally Posted by Edolie

Anyway, we got into a bit of a spat because he started kissing and groping me when I actually didn't want him to. I said, "You don't want to do that any other time...why now?" and it just continued from there. Later on he said that he was sorry for being an asshole and said, "I'm scared, that's the only reason." My anger hadn't yet worn off at that point, so I couldn't make myself ask him what he meant, but there ya go. I'll probably ask him later tonight when we get home.

If you are fighting like this, it is time to go and find someone else that you can be happy with instead of fighting and worrying about sex issues

**tomuchgear** · 04-22-2008, 02:52 PM

sorry neil my wife and i have had our ups and downs almost got divorced. we are still together today becouse we love each other. my adopted parents are still together becouse they love each other. problem with marraige today is that no one wants to put in the work. if you let things get bouring or dont take time for one another then yes your life together will suck. i do agree that it sounds like her relationship is at its breaking point and its time to move on.

**NeilPearson** · 04-22-2008, 03:13 PM

Originally Posted by tomuchgear

sorry neil my wife and i have had our ups and downs almost got divorced. we are still together today becouse we love each other. my adopted parents are still together becouse they love each other. problem with marraige today is that no one wants to put in the work. if you let things get bouring or dont take time for one another then yes your life together will suck. i do agree that it sounds like her relationship is at its breaking point and its time to move on.

Great 2 marriages that worked (with up and downs and almost getting divorced. That doesn't sound like fun)... that doesn't change the stats.

That's right, I am not interested in putting in 'work' with a wife... I tried that and it is no fun and it is pointless. There are no benefits to it and it is a pain in the ass. I would much rather have fun with my girlfriends than work with my wife.

The best part of a relationship is the dating and getting to know someone... after that it is all downhill. No thanks, I will stick with the fun part

**tomuchgear** · 04-22-2008, 03:16 PM

that is fine and it may work for you. my wife and i are happy finaly becouse we put in the work. yes ups and downs do really suck. i would not trade it for any thing though every time we have come out stronger. the problem with marriage is that so much changes as time goes on. wether or not you change with it is up to you. either way i say do what you need to be happy.

**Mudge** · 05-03-2008, 09:58 AM

If he is a big guy and has a problem cumming, its going to be extra rough on you - in other words I don't expect he'll ever finish inside of you for awhile. My current girl and I both last a long time, to where 5 hours is not abnormal (yes, lots of foreplay) but it starts to get to the point of pain for her even though she pumps out a lot of juice.

If things sound this uncomfortable between you two already, it sounds like you are kind of pushing it. Then again of he's had his cock in your mouth obviously he wants something.

P.S. I'm not a big fan of condoms either

but he should be showing you papers if he was around all that much, STDs/HPV etc can mess up your life.

**Plateau_Max** · 05-03-2008, 05:08 PM

There are some things about him that don't exactly jive. He says he's scared of having sex with you, yet you have given him a blow job... so what is it about honest to god intercourse that has him so worried?

I had OCD myself (yes you can get rid of it), and a big part of it is a comfort level. When you have an obsessive habit of doing something a certain way it's your mind's comfort in knowing you can predict a result. Trying something new leaves open the possibility for things to go bad and when your whole life is that way it's often a result of abuse at a young age (as in my case). The reason I took the time to explain that, is it's strange he would be taking medication like zoloft to fight it because OCD almost always prevents you from wanting to take any kind of medication period, let alone ones that aren't specifically designed for the condition. It took a lot of personal therapy (therapy with out a therapist basically) and tricks... as well as a lot of time and patience for me to overcome OCD.

If it's true he has had sex before, then the anxiety over having sex for the first time is out of the question. If he was truly worried about being intimate with you on a sexual level then the groping, making out, blow job stuff would be out of the question. It seems everything you list for a possible reason for him to not want to have sex, has a contradiction.

There is either something you're not telling us, or something he's not telling you.

**Zaphod** · 05-03-2008, 06:12 PM

Zoloft is used for depression, OCD, post-traumatic stress and one or two other things that escape me at the moment. I can attest to the OCD and depression parts, having been on it myself at one time.

Some of the possible side effects include sex problems, mostly with being able to finish. Sex drive can also be affected, but from what you say it isn't affecting him that way.

You need to get the straight story from him. There's probably more mental baggage than he's letting on.

**Mudge** · 05-03-2008, 06:33 PM

Originally Posted by NeilPearson

The best part of a relationship is the dating and getting to know someone... after that it is all downhill. No thanks, I will stick with the fun part

That depends on who you spend your time with, not saying its easy because I've done the 'work' shit too and I don't like it. Having to work through one or two issues is one thing, but a nagging bytch is completely another.

Been there, done that, not my style. I'm easy going and prefer the same.

**NFOMan** · 05-07-2008, 07:08 PM

Several iof I\ve had my messages modified by the moniters of this forum
- shitheads!\

These are jerks who are their own crap.

This only demonstrates how immuatrure the's guys are.

I'm on to a mature crowd.

Happy healthy sexx

NOMan

**min0 lee** · 05-07-2008, 07:23 PM

Originally Posted by NFOMan

Several iof I\ve had my messages modified by the moniters of this forum
- shitheads!\

These are jerks who are their own crap.

This only demonstrates how immuatrure the's guys are.

I'm on to a mature crowd.

Happy healthy sexx

NOMan

What did you do?

**kid007** · 05-17-2008, 11:26 PM

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**kid007** · 04-17-2010, 11:46 PM

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**bigdavetom** · 05-27-2010, 04:45 PM

he may be giving it elsewere n too tired to give you lol ,i had a ex once and she wouldnt give me any for a while too tired n all that crap she was giving it to others ready enough wunt mind so i gave her the boot and man up now i like the single life

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