calalily1972

My boyfriend has a son. Recently we moved in together. I was doing laundry one night and his door was open and I went to bring his clothes in. All of a sudden he covered up to his neck with the blankets. At first I didn't think anything of it, but I mentioned it to my boyfriend and he mentioned it to his son and he said that he was just uncomfortable with his shirt off because I was not his mother....... except almost every night when I call him for dinner he is with his shirt off.

My thought is that is he is, you know, experimenting. But my question is what age is it when boys start masturbating or when is is that they at least start "touching", not necessarily masturbating.

Did I make him feel uncomfortable, which I've never done before, or is is that he just misses his mom and he's not comfortable with me yett. Although my boyfriend and I have been together a while. I've never had a child so I don't know. His son adores me and looks up to and he has mentioned so as well.

I'm no quite prepared for all these things yet.

Although I do want to mention that his son and I get along very much, to the point that he looks at me as a mother figure. Also his biological mother passed away several year ago.

So basically, I'm open to thoughts and suggestions!

bio-chem

he starts touching himself as soon as he realizes something is there. hell even infant and toddler boys do it just because. hell by the time he is a teenager im sure he has started experimenting.

PreMier

10+yrs old is a good bet.. some people even sooner.

you probably caught him by surprise, and he covered himself up. sometimes i dont like to be seen with my shirt off.. it happens

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Mista

How old is he?

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bio-chem

maybe i was a late bloomer

calalily1972

Thanks guys,. but I don't want to post and age because I want "doing that" and I don't necessarily mean masturbating but "touching"

PreMier

i think it depends on how you were raised as well.. i had friends lose their virginity at 12!

P-side Inc.

"the post-workout high is more profound than any drug-induced rush imaginable." -Dante B.

bio-chem

if he felt uncomfortable it will pass. no need to mention it to him or talk to him about it. dont be the overly open friend type of parent who can talk about anything. somethings shouldnt be talked about. mention it to your boyfriend and if he wants to talk to his son about it cool. that is a much easier topic for father son.

bio-chem

waiting till marriage sucks

calalily1972

Thanks everyone!

I have no intention of talking to his son about any of it. Its not my place. I'm not trying to be his "buddy" and he knows it. We get along great! The question is, what is the average age for a boy to be "doing this"? And I don't meant doing this as far as masturbating but maybe touching or experimenting?

bio-chem

i really wouldn't say there is an average age for this. even if his body is not yet developed enough for masturbation he could be touching himself just because. i would not be shocked to hear of a 7 or 8 year old doing something like that.

IainDaniel

I always catch my 4 year old touching himself in the bathtub. Heck even my almost 2 year old.

Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Michael Jordan

calalily1972

I mean touching as sexually touching.

bio-chem

isn't sexually touching yourself masturbating?.......er, ur, um......regardless of um.....outcome?

Witchblade

I'm not sure when I first 'touched' myself (that sounds so much wronger than jerking off), but I'd go with 12 and I lost my virginity a little after I had turned 14. I know of a lot of people that started masturbating a lot sooner. One of my best friends started at 6. I think newer generations will start even sooner and sooner. If I had to give you an average of the people I know I'd say most boys start at 10.

As for sex, I'd say the average lies at 16. A lot of girls around that age have engaged in oral sex, but they (for whatever reason) wait 1-2 more years before they dare to do everything. The 'first time' is usually with their boyfriend after a few months of their relationship. When they break up, they go wild and fuck with anyone. Seriously. Guys lose their virginity soon as they find a girl that wants to as well.

Mind you, this is in Holland. We're a lot more liberal (not Liberal) here than in the USA when it comes to sexuality.

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IainDaniel

Isn't the rest of the modern world?

Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Michael Jordan

cadnkides

you should always knock first before entering someoneses room

DaMayor

My son has been hanging on to his bidness since he was a toddler. Now he's eight, and still does it. I usually ask him if he needs to go to the restroom, or if he is getting ready to "bust a rhyme".

As far as the unthinkable act, I believe boys are usually at the threshold of puberty when they start.

I started when I was twenty seven.

bio-chem

and havent stopped since

ha ha

NeilPearson

was that at your threshold of puberty?

DaMayor

Yeah......We can't all be AK..I.....er, studs early on, ya know.

It really pissed my wife off because by that time we had been married for six years.


Back to the issue. I'd let Dad handle things if he feels it needs to be addressed. Since this is a perfectly normal part of the boy's development, I don't see too much of a need for discussion. I'd be more worried about good intentions embarrassing the young man, and causing other issues....even though I doubt this would be a huge problem.

TrojanMan60563

I agree 100%...if the kid has his door shut you should have at least knocked first and asked if it was ok to come in. What if he had been changed and was totally naked doing nothing to himself? Having you see him naked could really make him uncomfortable. People close doors for a reason. Respect the boys space!

DaMayor

By the way, Neil.....Stop following me around.

bio-chem

screw that, she is doing the boys laundry and she isn't even his mother. if a woman wants to do my laundry she can come in whenever she wants. no matter what i may be doin in there

DaMayor

I agree with the knock at the door as just a heads up/get yourself together thing. But asking permission to enter? Um, no. Adults shouldn't have to ask permission.

Maybe a "hey, are you decent in there?" or "put that thing away! I have your clothes, you little wanker!" would do the trick.

dg806

Yeah, my son is 11 in August and I'm sure he is at that age. He told me the other day when he went to the doctor that his nurse was hot!
It's natural Jodi, nothing at all against you. He is probably more comfortable around you, than you are with him. Don't let things like this bother you in the least. Being a stepmother figure to someone like that is hard, but it's worth it to keep your relationship. It won't take long to get use to living with all 3 together. You will look back soon and laugh about it. Did you tell his dad? What did he say? FYI, I know my 11 yr old son eyes my gf!!

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NeilPearson

I'm not following you... you are just everywhere I turn!

calalily1972

His door was open, as I stated in the initial post. I would never go in there with the door shut. That's just wrong.

DaMayor

Not always wrong. My parents reserved the right to let themselves in, but only if their parental instincts led them to believe something was going on that shouldn't. Of course, this never happened because I was the perfect angel at all times.

Your situation is just slightly different than some. By this I mean you are in that position of filling "Mom-space" not only for a biological parent who is simply not around, but one who is no longer here at all. I have no doubt that you are doing a fine fine job of this, and you have made it clear that your relationship is great, BUT...since the young man is, well, a young man, you're juggling more than one issue.......Where am I going with this?

Ah, I think he'll be just fine as long as you keep things light, and act as if all of this perfectly normal stuff is just that...perfectly normal.

bio-chem

then nothing was happening. boys always shut the door when we are touching ourselves