MLB Adjusts Drug Policy To Allow David Ortiz To Take Steroids

min0 lee · 05-28-2009, 04:48 PM

www.boston.com

NEW YORK—Major League Baseball commissioner Bud Selig announced a new policy on performance-enhancing substances Wednesday that is expected to help former slugger David Ortiz, currently batting a dismal .203, to come out of his slump and return as a league-leading batter.

"We have amended the rules of the game to allow David [Ortiz] to use any performance enhancer he can find, as baseball is pretty boring when he's not hitting home runs," said Selig, who added that Ortiz could be suspended for 50 games under the new policy if drug tests show he is not taking any previously banned substances.

"What David is doing right now is wrong, and this season could damage his reputation forever. The game of baseball needs him to do the responsible thing and superhumanly whack balls over the fence whenever possible."
Moments after the announcement, Ortiz smashed through the conference doors with needles hanging from several different areas of his body and crushed Selig with a brutal thank-you hug, killing him instantly.

**P-funk** · 05-28-2009, 05:26 PM

classic!

patrick

**Prince** · 05-28-2009, 06:36 PM

LMAO! This is true for all sports, we want pro athletes taking steroids, if they all stopped football and baseball games would suck!

**Pirate!** · 05-28-2009, 10:05 PM

Great! No pics?

IronAddict · 05-29-2009, 09:36 AM

lol...Yeah, put the slug back into the slugger!

**I Are Baboon** · 05-29-2009, 10:24 AM

Ortiz > A-Rod

**IainDaniel** · 05-29-2009, 10:46 AM

He must be on roids.

Did you see him check his swing last night, and the bat broke, just from a check swing with no contact.

**I Are Baboon** · 05-29-2009, 10:48 AM

The bat broke out of fear.

min0 lee · 05-29-2009, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IainDaniel

He must be on roids.

Did you see him check his swing last night, and the bat broke, just from a check swing with no contact.

sara · 06-02-2009, 06:03 PM

Interesting!

quadluver · 06-04-2009, 11:10 PM

David O is a loser.

**I Are Baboon** · 06-05-2009, 06:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by quadluver

David O is a loser.

So is your face.

05-28-2009, 04:48 PM	#1
min0 lee Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: The Bronx, NYC Posts: 38,792 Photos: 542	MLB Adjusts Drug Policy To Allow David Ortiz To Take Steroids www.boston.com NEW YORK—Major League Baseball commissioner Bud Selig announced a new policy on performance-enhancing substances Wednesday that is expected to help former slugger David Ortiz, currently batting a dismal .203, to come out of his slump and return as a league-leading batter. "We have amended the rules of the game to allow David [Ortiz] to use any performance enhancer he can find, as baseball is pretty boring when he's not hitting home runs," said Selig, who added that Ortiz could be suspended for 50 games under the new policy if drug tests show he is not taking any previously banned substances. "What David is doing right now is wrong, and this season could damage his reputation forever. The game of baseball needs him to do the responsible thing and superhumanly whack balls over the fence whenever possible." Moments after the announcement, Ortiz smashed through the conference doors with needles hanging from several different areas of his body and crushed Selig with a brutal thank-you hug, killing him instantly. How To Do The Perfect Bench Press Rep Bodybuilding and Lifting Weights, the Difference ironmagazine-frapper

05-28-2009, 05:26 PM	#2
P-funk Patrick Super Moderator Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: AZ Posts: 31,695	classic! patrick E-Book: Take Charge! Everything You Need To Know To Write Your Own Training Programs Online Consulting/Program Design Reality Based Fitness Podcast Check me out on Twitter! Subscribe to our free monthly newsletter! "In the beginners mind there are many possibilities, in the experts there are few." -Buddha's Little Instruction Book

05-28-2009, 06:36 PM	#3
Prince IronMagLabs Owner Administrator Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Colorado Posts: 37,393 Photos: 356	LMAO! This is true for all sports, we want pro athletes taking steroids, if they all stopped football and baseball games would suck! IronMagLabs 1-ANDRO Rx Pro-Hormone - BUY 2 GET 1 FREE SPECIAL! BOARD SPONSORS: MassNutrition.com - Discount Supplement Superstore AlltheWhey.com - Bulk Protein Powders CEMProducts.com - Research Chemicals & Supplements MusclesProd.com - Steroids, Bodybuilding, Fitness & Training Blog. Maximizer.com - Maximizer Strength for Maximum Performance Befriend on Myspace Follow on Twitter

05-28-2009, 10:05 PM	#4
Pirate! Gatekepper Moderator Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Texas Posts: 6,166	Great! No pics? My 1-Andro RX Journal

05-29-2009, 09:36 AM	#5
IronAddict YOU ME WE Elite Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: In my skin Posts: 2,801	lol...Yeah, put the slug back into the slugger! The journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

05-29-2009, 10:24 AM	#6
I Are Baboon pedal pedal pedal Moderator Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Beerville Posts: 11,941 Photos: 4	Ortiz > A-Rod

05-29-2009, 10:46 AM	#7
IainDaniel My Role Model Moderator Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 17,545	He must be on roids. Did you see him check his swing last night, and the bat broke, just from a check swing with no contact. Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it. Michael Jordan

05-29-2009, 10:48 AM	#8
I Are Baboon pedal pedal pedal Moderator Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Beerville Posts: 11,941 Photos: 4	The bat broke out of fear.

06-02-2009, 06:03 PM	#10
sara INK NOT MINK Elite Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Earth Posts: 7,005 Photos: 5	Interesting!

06-04-2009, 11:10 PM	#11
quadluver Registered User Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 81	David O is a loser.

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