Thread: protein farts?

You might walk funny at first, but you will get use to it

Lol I didnt want it to come to this

A smoke eductor would work well. Just hang it up in the door way and fart into it and it will pull the smoke, i mean, the ass gas right out of your living quarters.

Originally Posted by ManInBlack

A smoke eductor would work well. Just hang it up in the door way and fart into it and it will pull the smoke, i mean, the ass gas right out of your living quarters.

He doesn't care about his farts at home, he actually enjoys the smell...

It's farting in public that is causing him greif..

He can't just walk around in public with an eductor and fart into it...

Lol I hope this thread doesn't backfire...I love the smell of my farts BTW its other people who dislike them

Originally Posted by yeabuddy

Lol I hope this thread doesn't backfire...I love the smell of my farts BTW its other people who dislike them

I called it...

Digestive enzymes will help.

Originally Posted by ExLe

You might walk funny at first, but you will get use to it

and as a bonus, its fun!

If you cannot bask in your own glory, especially in public, give these fuckers a whirl:

Mens Flatulence Filtering Underwear | myShreddies.com

Originally Posted by NeilPearson

and as a bonus, its fun!

The way I look at it...


The ability to plug farts is the bonus

Holding in a fart requires tightening of the anal sphincter, which is a muscle, therefore you are exercising that muscle by holding them in, and exercise is good, right? If you're having trouble holding them in, start doing some Kegel exercises. And don't be tempted to try and use a buttplug, *especially* while lifting. I don't want to be the guy behind you while you're doing good-mornings who gets hit in the head with a flying buttplug that got shot out of your ass like a potato cannon. Your fellow gym-goers will appreciate your consideration.

All joking aside however, I have two suggestions:
1. Eat a cup of yogurt every day. Yogurt alters the bacterial composition of your lower intestine.
2. (you might not want to hear this...) Eat less protein. Protein is absorbed by the small intestine, while bacteria live in the large intestine. Protein farts mean that all the protein you ate isn't getting absorbed and is 'feeding' the bacteria in your large intestine. I don't know how much you're paying for the protein you're eating/drinking, but some of that money is definitely going down the toilet. Cut down on the protein just until the farts are very minimal and you're good to go. I'll guess you're eating more than 200 grams of protein a day. You might also want to eat smaller meals more often, so that your small intestine has a chance to absorb the protein before more enters and pushes everything down the line.

What the hell, just let it go, bro. Don't old back, that's bad for your health

Originally Posted by ExLe

He doesn't care about his farts at home, he actually enjoys the smell...

It's farting in public that is causing him greif..

He can't just walk around in public with an eductor and fart into it...

I was being sarcastic douche

Originally Posted by ManInBlack

I was being sarcastic douche

So was I


Bike Pump Fart Video

Originally Posted by yeabuddy

Is there anything out there to combat protein farts?
I'm tired of holding them in when I'm out in public lol

Its been a month since I had a protien but every time I start drinking them I get the farts I drink bsn stuff so it's not cause it's cheap I eat lots chicken an tuna all the time so I know it's not that it's the shakes for me so don't think ur the only one lol.

Protien skake In a month oops.

Digestive enzymes will help.

I'm no month 2 of taking genomyx gut health.... all around excellent as far as digestion, air bloating etc. I'm very happy with it and would highly recommend!

Originally Posted by Ironskull

Its been a month since I had a protien but every time I start drinking them I get the farts I drink bsn stuff so it's not cause it's cheap I eat lots chicken an tuna all the time so I know it's not that it's the shakes for me so don't think ur the only one lol.

Buy a whey isolate. It usually solves the problem.

Let them roll brother. Didn't your parents teach you it's better to share? Sharing is caring.

Bean-O! And there will be no gas. Haha.

My wife can outfart all you mutherfuckers. When she lets one loose, you can smell it in the next state over.

Beano dude, beano