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Sanesloot Presents!

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  1. #1
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    Sanesloot Presents!






    Alright, this is my first post. And with my starting of this blog, i'll tell you peoples about a short little story involving myself and some girl (or crack whore) that i used to work with (I didn't only work with her 8===D ).

    So me and my Co-worker are just leaving work, and there is a special place we frequently visit right after we leave work before heading home. The Veteran's Graveyard! So we arrive and we are parked. Its got to be very close to 32 degrees outside. Extremely fucking cold. Now i'm riding in the passenger seat and shes in the driver seat. I turn to her and say, "I wanna pee in your mouth." Right away she doesn't wanna do it or anything. So I keep on asking. Then the asking turns into begging and finally she agrees to it. Now the only reason I originally wanted to pee in her mouth is because the night before I found all this urine porn and that shit made me laugh my ass off. It was amazing to my eyes, and just like that, I was in love.

    Ok so after I had gotten her to agree to my new fetish I began searching for a way I could piss in her mouth while trying to stay in the car. We just couldn't come up with a way to maneuver ourselfs to get into a great position to begin Project Urination (that sounds like a great name for my noval). So we're sitting in complete stillness as we tried recovering from defeat, and it came to me! She and I would go outside, deal with the coldness, and piss all in her mouth and on her face. It was a fucking brilliant idea god damnit. So off we went.

    Ok. We're outside. Shes on her knees, and i'm standing before her. I whip my cock out and i'm just trying my hardest to get some fluids moving. But Nothing. I have to pee pretty bad, but its so cold outside I couldn't even squeeze out a drip. I tried and tried and nothing would come out. Talk about being depressed. I was all hiped on peeing on her and nothing. Shut down completely. Like Mother Nature just pitched a perfect game and shoved it up my ass. The sadness can't be expressed in words.

    For the conclusion of my little story. If there is anything you want in this world bad enough, all you really have to do is ask for it over and over until it's yours. Nothing is impossible. The squeeky Wheel gets the greese. So keep that in mind next time you want a blow job from your wife of 10 years, Keep begging until you shoot a fat one down her throat.

    As for me, all we did was go back in her car and she sucked me off. The night wasn't a complete waste. She got her midnight snack and i got my sleep aid all at once

    EDIT: Will Post another AP Story soon.

  2. #2
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    you need to close your eyes and imagine it raining on the ocean. the first time you pee on someone is always the hardest. it gets easier.

    you don't get what you wish for ~ you get what you work for

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  3. #3
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    That was almost a beautiful story. Still kind of a disappointment. Next time, you just have to relax and imagine you're at Niagara Falls or something.

  4. #4
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    Fucking classic!

    You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Sanesloot again.

  5. #5
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    i love all you new guys
    Geared Jesus is a fag who keeps hitting on me in PMs.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by urbanski View Post
    i love all you new guys
    I'm glad that's so.. Its pretty easy to get on my shitty side.

    And i'm glad you guys enjoyed it. Makes me wanna start writing again <3


    ??

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    Anyone had experience with shitting on a girls chest?

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by dayday87 View Post
    Anyone had experience with shitting on a girls chest?
    I wish!

    Welcome dayday!!! Good to have you around.

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    awesome experience! It moved me to shed a tear. You have such a gift sane, glad you could share it with us all.

    I'm going to e-send you some NeoVar!

  10. #10
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    I told you you'd all grow to love us!

    I must say, sane's got some talent. You should write for Larry Flynt or some shit!

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Roids1 View Post
    I told you you'd all grow to love us!

    I must say, sane's got some talent. You should write for Larry Flynt or some shit!
    +1 man! I had to pressure him into posting!

  12. #12
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    Was there any snow outside? Maybe you should've picked some up and eaten it to make you pee.

    GICH!!!

    Great story by the way!

    You have to post a picture of this whore.

    I've always wanted to know what a bitch that would take piss on her face looks like! Thanks!

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by sprayherup View Post
    Was there any snow outside? Maybe you should've picked some up and eaten it to make you pee.

    GICH!!!

    Great story by the way!

    You have to post a picture of this whore.

    I've always wanted to know what a bitch that would take piss on her face looks like! Thanks!
    She was actually a crack whore.. kind of like a mutt almost. She's like 1/8 black. 1/8 Pourto Rican. I think she gave me bumps on my dick or w/e.. dyes her hair red sometimes. black horse hair.. pale white... real skinny, loves giving head.. just a shitty girl whos gotta be the dumbest bitch ever..

    And i have a piss story that where the urine actually came out lol... you guys would crown me king after that one.. so i'll save it for later when i need to reclaim my thrown.. I dont feel threatened right now..

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by sprayherup View Post
    Was there any snow outside? Maybe you should've picked some up and eaten it to make you pee.

    GICH!!!

    Great story by the way!

    You have to post a picture of this whore.

    I've always wanted to know what a bitch that would take piss on her face looks like! Thanks!



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    Last edited by Little Wing; 01-07-2010 at 12:40 PM.

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  15. #15
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    So, you into chicks LW?

  16. #16
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    read the beginning of gazer's girlies... been there done that it's not gross but does nothing for me. i like men.

    Quote Originally Posted by myCATpowerlifts View Post
    i knew it
    rockgazers is bi!
    Quote Originally Posted by Little Wing View Post
    if you try a mango once...or twice... and just don't have a taste for it never want another one you can't be called a mango eater now can you? you can just say tried it didn't see what the big deal is... but I do eat bananas.... I love mango btw but we aren't really talkin about mango now are we
    Quote Originally Posted by Little Wing View Post
    three times it was three okay...
    Quote Originally Posted by Little Wing View Post
    okay 4 I think it could have been 4 or 5
    Quote Originally Posted by Little Wing View Post
    but I am not bi I did not feel whatever it was they were feeling. evidently I am quite good at faking an interest in mango

    I started that thread when my username was rockgazer69

    you don't get what you wish for ~ you get what you work for

    ...






  17. #17
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    It really nice to be sharing a BB forum with some open-minded women. It really is.

    LW, is min0 a chick too? It's kind of hard to tell lol

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by j-pet View Post

    LW, is min0 a chick too? It's kind of hard to tell lol
    Um, sometimes

    you don't get what you wish for ~ you get what you work for

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  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Wing View Post
    Um, sometimes
    Wait, this Little Wing person is a Female??

    LOL, i would have never guessed it.. Shes crazier than me lol

  20. #20
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    I met this chick online. Pretty ugly, kinda fat, but she had a decent job. As far as I cared, she could have been homeless while flipping burgers at McDonalds. I only wanted one thing :-)

    So we agreed to meet up at her place. The uglier the girl is, the more trust they have in me for some reason. So were just hanging out in her living room, chillin. She went in her fridge to get a couple beers for us. Then she made some chicken wings and they were fucking slammin. God damn this little date turned out to be a good idea already!

    Ok, the beers were finished, the chicken bones were cleaned, now we were getting a little tired. So we head off to the up stairs and there I find a very comfortable looking King Sized bed. So we sit down on the bed and chat for a little about some shit and then I remembered that we made a bet a while ago and I won myself a back massage from her and I fucking love back massages!

    Alright, so I have my shirt off, and she is straddling me and shes got this baby oil all over me and rubbing me so fucking good.. I couldn't believe how great it felt. BUT, I think when she was working me with that awesome massage, that she made me have to take a HUGE dump! So after she finished with my 20 minute massage, we laid in bed for a little then I asked to use her bathroom. When I got there, it almost felt like the turd was knocking at my back door as if the closer I got to the crapper, the more eager the turd was to leave my butt. So I undid my belt with the quickness and sat down and shit went everywhere. Quirting, squeaking, little farts, loud farts, knock on your door kinda farts, basically everything I had left my ass at that very sitting.

    The best thing about that shit was that it came out kinda fast, so it didn't really seem like I pooped. So when I got back, I was feeling all fresh and about 5lbs lighter and extremely relieved. So i'm laying down and because the crap I just took felt so good, I kept sighing loud enough for her to hear and she had mistaken my sighs for moans and she just reached over and grabbed my cock! So i'm like, "Whoa!" But after she grabs it, shes feeling around, sizing me up and tells me "Your dick isn't small, it's perfect." Now I hear that alot because truthfully, i'm not packing much in the meat department at all, but it does get the job done.

    So she's still holding my junk and asks me, "Do you wanna have sex?" I'm like, "umm, if you want." So she gets her one and only condom that shes probably been saving for a long time or w/e because she is uglier than hell, and hands me this fucking Magnum condom.. Instantly i'm intimidated because I can't even fill half of that thing, and now I know what kind of cock shes used to and i'm starting to have second thoughts, but I stayed strong my brothers, I stayed strong!

    Ok, the condom wrapper is open and i'm rolling it down on my weener, and that Magnum fits on my shaft like a 30inch waist swims in a size 48 pants.... So yea, theres plenty of room in there for two of me basically... So shes on her back and I start to hover over her and i'm taking a good look and then I have the longest pause ever. When I looked at her cunt, I was amazed by how beautiful her pussy was and thought, "How can the ugliest bitch in the world, have the prettiest pussy I've ever seen?" Yea so I was kinda mesmerized by that for a long moment, but then i stuck it in! And I started pumping that bitch like there was no tomorrow! She was loving the cock so much.. Moaning and sweating, holding on to me, but then she tried kissing me.. And I have a thing about kissing ugly chicks.... It never happens! Ever! So I kept my head turned to the side while she wanted to kiss me and wound up kissing my neck or something.... eww, after she did that I felt like I become infected with the ugly virus or something..

    Ok and now this is when i started finding the situation a little odd. I'm normally a minute man and I blow my load just after a little while during sex, but this time Ive already been smashing for 15 mins and then I notice my dick starting to shrivel up. I'm like "Oh god not now" So I pull my cock out and I take the condom off and examine my penis. And to my surprise, my dick went completely numb due to the over sized condom rubbing against my penis the whole time during sex... I was a lost cause and I felt like a turd, but she did state that she got her nut off 3 times.. She asked me if I came and I had told her no, but I was kinda upset, because I wanted to yank off the condom when I was gonna shoot and drop a few lengths of warm rope across her face ya know...

    So she felt bad for me and tried giving me a hand job with some lube. However, I couldn't get hard because I couldn't feel anything. So we went to bed and the next morning we barel even spoke to each other besides the usual good morning and good bye crap. Then that same morning she called and said she wanted to make it up to me by having me come over again, and I agreed to it, but in my mind i was thinking, "This time, there will be blood."

  21. #21
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    That was freaking hilarious!!!!


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    Reps please

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Wing View Post
    okay but... there was a guy I dated that wanted me to pee on him . I tried in the bathtub (he was laying on his back with me squatting over him) and could not do it, there was just some mental block keeping my pee from being on another person... but he kept asking so one night after a bunch of beer I was able to and he got off instantly without my even touching him. He also kept asking me to tie him up so I finally had enough and bought big eyebolts and chained him to my hardwood floor and ordered pizza, I uh accidentally left my cash in the room he was bolted to the floor in... he stopped pushing for things I was hesitant on.
    one of my old posts... i found it by searching bolted to floor lol
    it's in an old sexual health forum thread crono posted have you ever peed on someone
    Last edited by Little Wing; 01-08-2010 at 02:32 PM.

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  24. #24
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    it got weirder.

    you don't get what you wish for ~ you get what you work for

    ...






  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Wing View Post
    it got weirder.
    Do tell. Please.

  26. #26
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    well this particular guy was very adventurous. i never had used a strap on and didn't think i was going to like doing it to him. but i said what the hellll... and it was kind of exciting. i never did it to a girl though. another time, i can't really remember how we got to this spot in the relationship, kink whatever but he decided he wanted to eat chocolate pudding out of my ass. i had never heard of scat or anything like that and it wasn't like that because i was very clean but we used a little douche thing to squirt about 2 cups of it up there and he enjoyed licking me clean. i don't consider myself a dom but i'll play slave games as long as i'm not the slave.

    you don't get what you wish for ~ you get what you work for

    ...






  27. #27
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    We have our 1st ATM story! Hurrah!

  28. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by j-pet View Post
    We have our 1st ATM story! Hurrah!

    well was his mouth glued to my ass so i'm not sure it's the same. i hate that there's so much atm in porn it's cliche now. it ruins porn when the guy stops anal every 20 strokes to do atm. gets old fast. like movies with a gaping asshole every 5 minutes. yeaaaaaa screwing a cavity you could fit your head in that must feel good. not. butttt, if i'm with a guy n we're doing anal i'm damn sure clean enough so if i'm caught up in the moment it could happen switching from anal to 69 or something.

    you don't get what you wish for ~ you get what you work for

    ...






  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Wing View Post
    well was his mouth glued to my ass so i'm not sure it's the same. i hate that there's so much atm in porn it's cliche now. it ruins porn when the guy stops anal every 20 strokes to do atm. gets old fast. like movies with a gaping asshole every 5 minutes. yeaaaaaa screwing a cavity you could fit your head in that must feel good. not. butttt, if i'm with a guy n we're doing anal i'm damn sure clean enough so if i'm caught up in the moment it could happen switching from anal to 69 or something.
    werd. I am so over shit eating and dog fucking. Can someone please tell those Germans we've all moved on?

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    yes LW is awesome and yes min0 is a "something", likely hermaphrodite or maybe an X0 Turner Syndrome. or something.
    Geared Jesus is a fag who keeps hitting on me in PMs.

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