We're CLOSED..Monday Fun

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    We're CLOSED..Monday Fun

    Withut fail here at the Blues Cafe', on the slowest day of the week, we get some dork who walks in 3 minutes before we close. In today's case...two dorks. These people will, without fail, order a glass of water and the cheapest item on the menu, and will set up cmp for a couple of hours.
    I have adopted a new approach to dealing with this....Musical Torture. As they converse, as they are at this very moment, I sneak into my office and make some adjustments to our "playlist". I then sit, and increase the house volume every minute or so, or as neede to encourage those in the dining area to leave. Today's dork repellant:

    The Bee Gees~ Baby come back
    George Michaels~ Careless Whisper
    Bobby McFarrin~ Don't worry, be happy.
    Cameo~ Doin' da Butt
    Twisted Sister~We're not ganna take it.
    Hank Williams Jr.~Family Tradition
    Sugar Hill Gang~Rapper's Delight
    Don McLean~American Pie


    I am searching for the Bagpipe music next.

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    Scatterbrain - Don't Call Me Dude


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    Quote Originally Posted by DaMayor View Post
    Withut fail here at the Blues Cafe', on the slowest day of the week, we get some dork who walks in 3 minutes before we close. In today's case...two dorks. These people will, without fail, order a glass of water and the cheapest item on the menu, and will set up cmp for a couple of hours.
    I have adopted a new approach to dealing with this....Musical Torture. As they converse, as they are at this very moment, I sneak into my office and make some adjustments to our "playlist". I then sit, and increase the house volume every minute or so, or as neede to encourage those in the dining area to leave. Today's dork repellant:

    The Bee Gees~ Baby come back
    Twisted Sister~We're not ganna take it.
    Hank Williams Jr.~Family Tradition


    Baby come back was originally done by Player.



    And these three songs are good! Don't make me come down there!




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  4. #4
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    Dancing Queen and YMCA would drive me from any meal...
    Also any Axel Rose whining.....wah wah wah wah Sweeet Chiiiilllddd o' MIII--EEEE---YYINE
    Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
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    but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012

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    Play Lady Gaga: Poker Face on repeat.

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    Quote Originally Posted by KelJu View Post
    Play Lady Gaga: Poker Face on repeat.
    Too bad I don't have the Cartman version.....

    Aw snap! I could've played the Chipmunks Christmas tunes!

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    have someone come in with a shot gun and fake rob the place
    Quote Originally Posted by LAM View Post
    Sheep get their news from the media, I get my news from Facebook. That's where the real unbiased news is found. any everyone from IM that is friends with me on FB knows this.

  9. #9
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    Add Cher - If I Could Turn Back Time and WHO LET THE DOGS OUT, and don't forget The Macarena

    If it's 2 guys turn the lights down low and play lovey cushy music like this

    and then go sit at a table near them and make comments like "I wonder if it's their first date?" "Don't they make a cute couple?" etc...
    Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
    not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
    and drag down the features of age,
    no folds or creases from unkempt wear
    eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
    no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
    but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012

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    Turning the music off then running the vacuum cleaner at the next table doesn't work?

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by rahaas View Post
    Turning the music off then running the vacuum cleaner at the next table doesn't work?
    Or turn the music off and have a fake argument with the cook in the kitchen loud enough for them to hear about how he doesn't have the stuff prepped for what they ordered, then you grab a bussers tray and pretend to be scraping food of while saying "Look this person only ate half and this person only ate half you scrape them onto one plate you got another whole!"
    Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
    not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
    and drag down the features of age,
    no folds or creases from unkempt wear
    eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
    no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
    but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012

  12. #12
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    Or go into the kitchen and say "These goddam rats got into the pantry again!"
    Quote Originally Posted by Phineas View Post
    Don't you want to be compared to Chuck Norris? Hmm?? Don't you???

  13. #13
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    or, turn off the music and have the staff plug there ear buds in and sing off key to there favorite song.

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