Clean-up in isle four!

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  1. #1
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    Clean-up in isle four!

    Okay, I just got home from the local Petsmart with my son. He's been pestering me to buy him a hamster for months now. So I gave him some little "goals" to reach and told him if he did it all I would buy him one.
    He basically did everything he needed to... Of course there were a few things he negotiated with me... kids 6 years old, he's like Monty Hall.
    Anyway, I pick him up from school and we shoot over to the PetSmart. They had a shitload of hamsters to choose from. He paced waiting so impatiently for the clerk to come and let us see a few that he liked the most.
    Being the responsible parent that I am, I had to make sure the things had good temperment, you know.. no nasty biters.
    Well... He shows me the one he wants and I ask the girl if I can see it. She's like "Sure, just reach in and pick it up". So I did. But as I reached into the tank, the fucking thing clamps down on my finger like a crocodile!
    Just from reflex, I yank my hand out of the tank and there goes this hamster flying 20 feet in the air and 3 isles over! Holy Shit!
    Not 3 seconds later, I hear someone scream and then a huge CRASH!!!
    With my finger in my mouth, I look at my son... he's staring towards where I flung this hamster, in shock, his mouth wide open... the clerk goes running off to see what happened and my son looks at me and says, "I changed my mind daddy, I don't want a hamster anymore." I nearly pissed my pants laughing.
    I didn't even wait for the clerk to come back, Me and the boy went over to see what the loud crash was, apparently the hamster freaked out a teenage girl who turned to run from it and went right through a display of "Beggin Strips" dog treats that were stacked up in a pyramid.
    I told the clerk, we changed our mind and we turned to leave and as we were walking out I heard over the intercom.. "Clean-up in Isle 4"
    Some funny shit man. We laughed nearly the whole ride home!
    Last edited by FMJ; 03-09-2010 at 05:01 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Phineas View Post
    Don't you want to be compared to Chuck Norris? Hmm?? Don't you???

  2. #2
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    Way to go Mr. Bean....
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    but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012

  3. #3
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    No joke man, that hamster hurt! My finger nail looks like I hit it with a hammer. My son said he'd rather have a parakeet.
    Do they bite too?
    Quote Originally Posted by Phineas View Post
    Don't you want to be compared to Chuck Norris? Hmm?? Don't you???

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    Quote Originally Posted by FMJ View Post

    No joke man, that hamster hurt! My finger nail looks like I hit it with a hammer. My son said he'd rather have a parakeet.
    Do they bite too?
    Not very hard but yes....I had a cockatiel that could bite for blood and an African Grey that tried to snap my pinky in half luckily I had a carrot bribe before he did much damage......maybe you should try a turtle but not a snapping turtle....
    Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
    not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
    and drag down the features of age,
    no folds or creases from unkempt wear
    eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
    no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
    but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012

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    Hey! That's MY life!



    Um, I'd opt for goldfish.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DaMayor View Post
    Hey! That's MY life!



    Um, I'd opt for goldfish.
    Or a chia pet

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  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by FMJ View Post

    No joke man, that hamster hurt! My finger nail looks like I hit it with a hammer. My son said he'd rather have a parakeet.
    Do they bite too?
    Birds are really too noisy to have as pets. Trust me within a week you'll both want to throw that too.

    My fiance and I have 3 pet rats (all males the females aren't very nice) and they're wonderful pets. They're not dirty and don't stink like people think they do and are more interesting than any hamster, bird, or cat I've ever seen. And they're surprisingly smart. All three of ours ''bite'' but I've never once been in the least bit hurt by them. They'll put their mouths on our fingers long enough to realize it's not food and let go before they even bite down at all. They're very sweet and gentle and give kisses. And they don't keep me up all night or wake me up in the morning singing.
    little.girl.little.girl.you.should.close.your.eyes .that.view.is.gettin'.me.high

  11. #11
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    One of her first words was "Momo" cuz i had a rat named Romeo. The males absolutely do not bite you, they are sweet pets. Hamsters are retarded. Guinea pigs are cool pets but not as smart.

    you don't get what you wish for ~ you get what you work for

    ...






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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Wing View Post
    One of her first words was "Momo" cuz i had a rat named Romeo. The males absolutely do not bite you, they are sweet pets. Hamsters are retarded. Guinea pigs are cool pets but not as smart.
    Yea. Hamsters are retarded. Mice are pretty interesting. But only if you get like fifty of them and a wheel. At the pet store here they have mice up the ass and there's always like one mouse running on the wheel while like five of them are just hanging on for the ride.
    little.girl.little.girl.you.should.close.your.eyes .that.view.is.gettin'.me.high

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by SYN View Post
    At the pet store here they have mice up the ass and there's always like one mouse running on the wheel while like five of them are just hanging on for the ride.
    Yeah, that's true! I've seen that too.

    Anyway, in the end, he opted for a Bionicle.
    Gotta love the attention span of little boys.
    Quote Originally Posted by Phineas View Post
    Don't you want to be compared to Chuck Norris? Hmm?? Don't you???

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by FMJ View Post
    Yeah, that's true! I've seen that too.

    Anyway, in the end, he opted for a Bionicle.
    Gotta love the attention span of little boys.
    lol. Good choice.
    little.girl.little.girl.you.should.close.your.eyes .that.view.is.gettin'.me.high

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Geared Jesus View Post
    replace "Son" with gay lover and "hamster" with Gerbil and we have the actual story.
    lol... Who am I, Richard Gere?!?
    Quote Originally Posted by Phineas View Post
    Don't you want to be compared to Chuck Norris? Hmm?? Don't you???

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    Quote Originally Posted by FMJ View Post
    lol... Who am I, Richard Gere?!?
    If your gay lover is a six year old...I'm thinking Michael Jackson
    little.girl.little.girl.you.should.close.your.eyes .that.view.is.gettin'.me.high

  17. #17
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    Where are those 'caught on camera' guys when you need them. Would have been great to have seen!

    How about a nice golden retriever, named Buck?
    Success leaves clues. People who produce outstanding results do specific things to create those results

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  18. #18
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    was the hamster ok?

    Tell your son that only gays buy hamsters and gerbils.

    GICH!

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Wing View Post
    One of her first words was "Momo" cuz i had a rat named Romeo.
    Enough about SYN's dad, what was your pet's name?
    Rules? You mean we have RULES for that???

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by ALBOB View Post
    Enough about SYN's dad, what was your pet's name?

    you don't get what you wish for ~ you get what you work for

    ...






  21. #21
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    **WHEW** Sure glad you though that was funny. Didn't want to have to break out the bullet proof underwear.................AGAIN.
    Rules? You mean we have RULES for that???

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by ALBOB View Post
    Enough about SYN's dad, what was your pet's name?


    He really is a pos though
    little.girl.little.girl.you.should.close.your.eyes .that.view.is.gettin'.me.high

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    i've enjoyed every post on this thread.
    Quote Originally Posted by LAM View Post
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    I had originally thought of suggesting you get the kid a pet rock, then I realized you'd probably drop on your foot and end up in a cast for a couple of months.
    Rules? You mean we have RULES for that???

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by ALBOB View Post
    I had originally thought of suggesting you get the kid a pet rock, then I realized you'd probably drop on your foot and end up in a cast for a couple of months.
    Hey, I'm good with pets. That mutant hamster was a ticking time bomb. It's a good thing I exposed it for the ferocious beast it really is! Imagine if it went to some other unsuspecting child? Parent would have found nothing but a giant hamster in the kids bed the next morning.
    Quote Originally Posted by Phineas View Post
    Don't you want to be compared to Chuck Norris? Hmm?? Don't you???

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    lol cool story brah

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    Quote Originally Posted by FMJ View Post
    Hey, I'm good with pets. .

    Suuuuuuuuure you are.


    Rules? You mean we have RULES for that???

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