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Help Desk (why it can suck!)

D

david

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this is someone's claim stating that this is a true conversation. As an ex- help desk technician, I somehow DO believe this actually happened!!!:


If you can't laugh about this you need help.... This is a supposedly a true story from the Word Perfect help line. Needless to say the help desk employee was fired; however, the person is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "termination without cause". This is from the taped conversation leading up to dismissal

"Word Perfect Technical Desk, may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with Word Perfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in Word Perfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type!"

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.

"Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

".......Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

"Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power outage."

"A power... A power outage? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
 
:scratch: I dunno about that one:nope:
 
There is a TOO FUCKIN STOOPID in the original story, still never clear if it was true or not. I have heard a recording but I think it may have been a mockup? Not sure, the story says though the guy got fired.

I had a site that used to have Real Audio clips of real tech support calls, and damn some of them were GOOOOOOD, people pissed off, all kinds of idiots etc, unfortunately they went to a pay format due to cost of running the site...

Have you guys heard the AOL tech support one where the guy tells her to reformat the hard drive to delete "all the porn on her computer"?
 
Would you believe me if I told you I had a house call and the lady paid me $400 (2 separate calls) that the first thing was to 1) set up their computer, printer and fax machine. 2) * Label the power switch button as "Push me first" * Monitor "Make sure I 'm also on * On their Desktop, to relabel their Dial up Icon as "Click me first. (DUN connection) * Internet Explorer "Click me second" ??
 
Originally posted by Leslie2196
:scratch: I dunno about that one:nope:

OMG, Leslie, If that's your bod in that Avatar, you are shaping up real great and getting shredded. The only other picture I saw of you was the one in the beginning of your diary!!!!

Lookin' great! ;)
 
Bet that was the easiest money you ever made :thumb:
 
Originally posted by butterfly
Bet that was the easiest money you ever made :thumb:

No, most of my clients are like this. They pay whatever and they refuse to learn anything that deals with the computer and there super at placing the blame elsewhere and very good at being bitches. Yes, all my clients are female. That could be a good thing???!?!?

I hate charging these ladies bc/ we've become the best of friend's etc.
 
Uh-oh, I have a feeling Dr. P is going to intervene on this one! :lol:
 
Originally posted by davidjasondean
Would you believe me if I told you I had a house call and the lady paid me $400 (2 separate calls) that the first thing was to 1) set up their computer, printer and fax machine. 2) * Label the power switch button as "Push me first" * Monitor "Make sure I 'm also on * On their Desktop, to relabel their Dial up Icon as "Click me first. (DUN connection) * Internet Explorer "Click me second" ??

ROFL, I made $125 to install DSL not too long ago, they didn't have to wire a splitter box at the incoming telco line either, they have these little inline splitters you stick right into the jack now, that was easy money but $400 ROFL man, the TORTURE is when those kind of people keep calling you back though! I did some minor consulting for some computer airheads, but they were not even that bad.
 
Originally posted by Mudge


ROFL, I made $125 to install DSL not too long ago, they didn't have to wire a splitter box at the incoming telco line either, they have these little inline splitters you stick right into the jack now, that was easy money but $400 ROFL man, the TORTURE is when those kind of people keep calling you back though! I did some minor consulting for some computer airheads, but they were not even that bad.

I couldn't agree with you anymore on that one. They call for the dumbest crap! I'll delve in to that deeper,later!

The worst is when they hire you and then they tell you how to do your job or tell you that your wrong!

If I was doing it so wrong then they should do it themselves!
 
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hahahahaha dave i laughed hard if it isn't true it's still a good joke

hey mudge whats that sight with the real audio clips?
 
Originally posted by davidjasondean


OMG, Leslie, If that's your bod in that Avatar, you are shaping up real great and getting shredded. The only other picture I saw of you was the one in the beginning of your diary!!!!

Lookin' great! ;)

Thanks Babe!!:)
It is me- I think I am going to put that below my avatar- becasue no one seems to think it is me! LOL
 
Haha, that tech help guy is right. The diagnosis was correct... too stupid to own a computer alright.
 
too stupid to live lol
 
Originally posted by Leslie2196


Thanks Babe!!:)
It is me- I think I am going to put that below my avatar- becasue no one seems to think it is me! LOL

Your doing really well! Let us all know when your definitely competing! Oh, you better provide pictures too! ;) Simply Astounding!
 
Originally posted by Leslie2196


Thanks Babe!!:)
It is me- I think I am going to put that below my avatar- becasue no one seems to think it is me! LOL

I don't think anyone knew that your 'personality' was recently enhanced, to say it in a word my reaction is HOLY$H!T, I feel dirty, sorry :lol:
 
Well I sure didn't know.
 
Funny, I wouldn't do that though, when its another mans girl though I try to keep my thoughts reserved, she is a catch though bigtime, ouch! Time to stab myself with pencils now to distract myself :D
 
Originally posted by Leslie2196
:scratch: Okaaay....

Based on this pic and the last pic (avatar), Leslie is shaping up quite nicely and is becoming even more amazing than ever!

Great job to her and THE TEAM! :thumb:
 
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