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27 average sized hungry cats vs. an average sized man

View Poll Results: 27 average sized hungry cats vs. an average sized man

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26. You may not vote on this poll
  • Cats

    7 26.92%
  • man

    4 15.38%
  • AKIRA is a living abortion

    11 42.31%
  • Please do not reproduce AKIRA

    4 15.38%
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  1. #1
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    27 average sized hungry cats vs. an average sized man

    When I first moved into my geek roommate's place, he had this debate going on. Who would win in a fight between a man and a 27 house cats who had not been fed for 7 days but they did have water.

    First off, its 1 vs 27. The man has a condom on, the cats were not breast fed.

    No weapons.
    It is to the death. No escaping.
    It is in a safe environment, much like a Republican convention . The climate nor surroundings have NO influence of the fight.

    Points that came up during our discussion:
    -Panic. "The man would prolly ( prolly is not a real word but I am a fucking moron so go with it) panic." Not necessarily. Its an average man by average I am saying his cock is 6 inches erect. This man is not dumb like me, but not a genius like John H. He knows going in, its either him or the 27 hungry cats. He knows he must fight or die. The cats wont panic. They rely on their ability to correct retards spelling mistakes . The man has adrenaline too, only the difference is he can't spell.

    -Weapons. "The man cant win without a knife" Why? The cats will bite and grab and pull and tear, but that's it. Once the cats jaw is in use, its taken up. The man has more natural weapons thanks to his thumbs and poor spelling skills. Also, cats hunt in packs. How good are they alone?

    -Agility. "The cats will grab the neck." True. However this man isn't dumb and knows he can die. Its safe to say he knows how he can die and defend against it. But the cats are more agile and will probably know how to get the neck better than the man can defend it naturally. With the man's more natural weapons, he could defend and grab a cats neck. Not to mention, a man can fight off his back, then again all animals can do this unless they are turtles.

    -Size. This is a tricky one. Looking up the average size of a cat I came up around a 10lb mark. Finding an average man put his slightly heavier. As far as muscle type and placement goes, no one knows, except people with an education beyond the first grade.

    -Killing Instinct. Cats have the advantage here, because men have never dropped an atom bomb or committed genocide. However, with the given circumstances, does it matter since were this far?


    I brought this up when I was riding to school on the short buss and what I found that people that didn't even give it a moment's thought said "cats." Whereas people who took a moment and thought about it, they said "you are the biggest retard to ever ride this buss."

    Vote your answer and explain why if it hasn't already been detailed.

  2. #2
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    a starving house cat won't try to eat you even if it is part of a 27 member clowder. can you make them rabid or something? or give the man a stroke after he kills the first cat? or make him a hemophiliac? maybe if they were all inside something tight and dark like a closet or coffin

    i'm not voting 'till the man doesn't have a chance.

    you don't get what you wish for ~ you get what you work for

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  3. #3
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    ^^^

    Worst post on IM ever.

  4. #4
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    i don't think even 27 house cats hell bent on killing a man could. any man that would take this wager i would HOPE by some miracle the cats actually kill him. he'd have a shitload of superficial lacerations, many bites that are surprisingly traumatic albeit too shallow to do much in the way of taxing his blood supply... and 27 dead cats.


    but that's not really your question is it.

    you don't get what you wish for ~ you get what you work for

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  5. #5
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    I like Akira, but I laughed my ass off on the "AKIRA is a living abortion", so I had to pick that option.


  6. #6
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    You've gotta like the dramatic music.



  7. #7
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    ^ cute.

    a lot of cats prefer a verbal take down.


    you don't get what you wish for ~ you get what you work for

    ...






  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by DOMS View Post
    You've gotta like the dramatic music.

    I love that doms is such a faggy cat lover
    Can we put him in the room and see which one is the top or bottom (Doms pounded by 27 anal hungry cats)

  9. #9
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    little.girl.little.girl.you.should.close.your.eyes .that.view.is.gettin'.me.high

  10. #10
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    "you are the biggest retard to ever ride this buss."

    final answer. brilliant
    Quote Originally Posted by LAM View Post
    Sheep get their news from the media, I get my news from Facebook. That's where the real unbiased news is found. any everyone from IM that is friends with me on FB knows this.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by DOMS View Post
    You've gotta like the dramatic music.

    its one of those mexican cats
    If you strike me down(ban me)I'll become more powerful than ever.. Don't say i don't warn you.


  12. #12
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    Exclamation

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Wing View Post
    ^ cute.

    a lot of cats prefer a verbal take down.



    In other news, I voted cats.



    BEWARE!

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by GeorgeForemanRules View Post
    When I first moved into my geek roommate's place, he had this debate going on. Who would win in a fight between a man and a 27 house cats who had not been fed for 7 days but they did have water.

    First off, its 1 vs 27. The man has a condom on, the cats were not breast fed.

    No weapons.
    It is to the death. No escaping.
    It is in a safe environment, much like a Republican convention . The climate nor surroundings have NO influence of the fight.

    Points that came up during our discussion:
    -Panic. "The man would prolly ( prolly is not a real word but I am a fucking moron so go with it) panic." Not necessarily. Its an average man by average I am saying his cock is 6 inches erect. This man is not dumb like me, but not a genius like John H. He knows going in, its either him or the 27 hungry cats. He knows he must fight or die. The cats wont panic. They rely on their ability to correct retards spelling mistakes . The man has adrenaline too, only the difference is he can't spell.

    -Weapons. "The man cant win without a knife" Why? The cats will bite and grab and pull and tear, but that's it. Once the cats jaw is in use, its taken up. The man has more natural weapons thanks to his thumbs and poor spelling skills. Also, cats hunt in packs. How good are they alone?

    -Agility. "The cats will grab the neck." True. However this man isn't dumb and knows he can die. Its safe to say he knows how he can die and defend against it. But the cats are more agile and will probably know how to get the neck better than the man can defend it naturally. With the man's more natural weapons, he could defend and grab a cats neck. Not to mention, a man can fight off his back, then again all animals can do this unless they are turtles.

    -Size. This is a tricky one. Looking up the average size of a cat I came up around a 10lb mark. Finding an average man put his slightly heavier. As far as muscle type and placement goes, no one knows, except people with an education beyond the first grade.

    -Killing Instinct. Cats have the advantage here, because men have never dropped an atom bomb or committed genocide. However, with the given circumstances, does it matter since were this far?


    I brought this up when I was riding to school on the short buss and what I found that people that didn't even give it a moment's thought said "cats." Whereas people who took a moment and thought about it, they said "you are the biggest retard to ever ride this buss."

    Vote your answer and explain why if it hasn't already been detailed.
    Teach me Master.
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  14. #14
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    I got my daughter a kitten a couple months ago. Cute little fuzzball. I have read about cats fucking people up, but those kinds of people are worthless. Cats are small cute and harmless.

    When my dog came out to see what we had, that cute little 5 week old kitten went Scott Peterson and started fucking shit up. It shredded my girlfriends hand, and then it jumped. I went to grab all 6 ounces of fury and it bit me 4 times before I could even move my hand out of the way. I wanted to kill it at this point, but that only put us on equal footing. I had to throw a towel over it so I could grab it. Yes, thats right, this thing was so pissed that I had time to run in the house, grab a towel and come back, because it was not running away. It only wanted level ground to stand on while unleashing the apocolypse.

    27 cats would fucking mangle an average man.

    6 inches flaccid or erect?

  15. #15
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    oh man.

    did you know in postmortem predation a hungry dog will wait 4 or 5 days to start gnawing on their dead master but a cat just a day or two? yes, they are adorable little beasts.

    you don't get what you wish for ~ you get what you work for

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  16. #16
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    27 cats without a doubt. Until recently, I would have probably given this some thought but I watched as show not long ago where a perfectly good cat went bad and attacked a man in a convenience store. This one cat alone inflicted enough damage in a matter of 30 seconds that the man had to be taken to hospital for nearly 50 stitches. He was dazed and mangled. I think 5 cats behaving the way I saw on the show would make quick work out of an average sized man.
    To speak before you think is like wiping your ass before you shit!

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainNapalm View Post
    27 cats without a doubt. Until recently, I would have probably given this some thought but I watched as show not long ago where a perfectly good cat went bad and attacked a man in a convenience store. This one cat alone inflicted enough damage in a matter of 30 seconds that the man had to be taken to hospital for nearly 50 stitches. He was dazed and mangled. I think 5 cats behaving the way I saw on the show would make quick work out of an average sized man.
    care to share the video????

  18. #18
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    I vote for the man... he would be a mess afterwards. Cats can mess you up but the wounds would all be too small to be life threatening.

  19. #19
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    cats all day...



    Sometimes the truth can rape your entire belief system.

  20. #20
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    You know that chinese torture method death of 1000 cuts..... 27 cats x 4 claws per foot = little over 4 1/2 swats from each cat and you're fucked....

    Not to mention 27 cats in one spot your going to have a shit.piss covered area, each needle point claw dipped in shit......ever heard of cat scratch fever?

    If you pass out remember cats can steal your breath...
    Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
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    and drag down the features of age,
    no folds or creases from unkempt wear
    eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
    no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
    but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012

  21. #21
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    27 hungry pussies huh..... Id let em take me

  22. #22
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    the man for sure ....

  23. #23
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    we all know an AKIRA, a person that is just unlikable no matter how hard you try. who keeps proving all the reasons you shouldn't like him and never gives you much if any reason to warm up to him.

    an opinionated asshole know it all cunt who tries to bully you into accepting his opinion because he's too fucking insecure to accept anyone disagreeing with his cry baby self. oh i'm right here's why here's why....

    the guy in the crowd that for some inexplicable reason gives the girls the willies. his personality is as repulsive as his little pinched asshole looking mouth.

    Thank you foreman for making this thread. i should have said how i felt then and not gave a shit about being nice.

    you don't get what you wish for ~ you get what you work for

    ...






  24. #24
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  25. #25
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    I'm voting for the cats, but I think you should write a screenplay and submit it to Hollywood. Sounds better than a lot of horror movies out there. Maybe the cats could be affected by a mutant strain of cat food and roam the streets killing random people. Mutant Zombie Cats! Sounds like a winner.

  26. #26
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    my vote that AKIRA is a living abortion was the 7th only a few minutes ago. seems i'm not alone in my opinion of him.

    you don't get what you wish for ~ you get what you work for

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  27. #27
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    I think that we're all overlooking a key part of this hypothetical quandary:

    Quote Originally Posted by GeorgeForemanRules View Post
    The man has a condom on
    Relevance?

    I cannot vote until all of my questions are answers surrounding this situation.

    What other devices are at the man's disposal? Is he fully clothed? Is there tape? If he's fully clothed he could wrap his shirt around his neck to protect his veins from those ferocious cat bites. He could do the same thing with electrical tape around his wrists to protect his veins. Unless the guy can die from inhaling cat feces and urine, my money is probably on the man winning...pending answers to my previous questions of course.
    -I know your words, just not together.

  28. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Wing View Post
    my vote that AKIRA is a living abortion was the 7th only a few minutes ago. seems i'm not alone in my opinion of him.
    DRSE Reconnaissance


  29. #29
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    dont like it

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