Things not to say to an officer...

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  1. #1
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    Things not to say to an officer...






    only had one officer Mr. Keg.

    Back off Barney, I've got a piece.

    Want to race to the station, Sparky?

    I know I was weaving, but I can't find the Honeycomb Hideout!

    On the way to the station let's get a twelve pack.

    You'll never get those cuffs on me...You Pussy!

    Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!

    Hey, wasn't your daughter a pork queen?

    How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.

    Hey officer, is that your nightstick or are you just glad to see me?

    I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special!

    Yeah you can see my license and registration, officer, but could you hold my beer for a minute?

    Hey, you must've been doing' about 125mph (200km/h) to keep up with me! Good job!

    Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

    I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer.

    Excuse me. Is "stick up" hyphenated?

    You know, I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

    "Bad Cop! No Donut!"

    I was trying to keep up with traffic.

    You're NOT gonna check the trunk, are you?

    "Lets do it different this time... I will give you the breathalyzer test, now stick this in your mouth and blow"

    Didn't I see you get your ass kicked on "COPS" last week on TV?

    Wow, You look just like the guy in the picture next to my girlfriend's bed.

    I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket

    So, uh, you "on the take", or what?

    Gee, officer! That's terrific. The police officer yesterday only gave me a warning too!

    Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.

    So, are you still crabby because your mamma didn't let you play with your gun when you were little?

    Hey is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.
    When you smack the crap outta me, make sure you smile for the camcorder.

    Is it true that people become policemen because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

    Aren't you one of the Village People?

    Hey officer, want to see a trick? Look at your wife!

  2. #2
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    LMAO, I'll have to remember not to use those next time I get pulled over.
    to be the man you have to beat the man.

  3. #3
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    it kinda makes you wanna try it doesn't it lol
    230_225_220_215_210_205_200_195_190_185_180
    |----|----|----|----|----|----|----|----|---|----|
    <- that way about 20 more pounds!

  4. #4
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    lmao, like those alot!!
    *^All good things come to those who weight (lift!!!)^*

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    I'm the thread killer
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    I'm the post attacker^*




  5. #5
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    Guess cops just REALLY like it when you ask them:
    Don't you have any real criminals you should be going after??
    Success leaves clues. People who produce outstanding results do specific things to create those results

    Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing NOW to solve our problem

    THERE IS NO TOMORROW!
    - Appollo Creed

  6. #6
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    "Lets do it different this time... I will give you the breathalyzer test, now stick this in your mouth and blow"

    We have a lesbian Highway Patrol Person where I live and this one would be a good one for her.

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