Friendly Holiday Advice
Please, take care of yourself this Christmas. A recent joint study conducted by the Department of Health and the Department of Motor Vehicles indicates that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol related.
This means that the remaining 77% are caused by assholes that just drink coffee, carbonated drinks, juices, milk, water, and shit like that.
Therefore, beware of those who do not drink alcohol. They cause three times as many accidents.
This message is sent by someone who cares about your well being.