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The Capt'n needs our help !!!

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  1. #1
    Stacey's Boy
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    The Capt'n needs our help !!!






    A PRIVATE MESSAGE FROM MY FRIEND THE CAPT'N.

    Dear Retlaw....Yesterday I had watery poops again. But here's what I noticed about the watery shit. I drank about 2 pints of water minutes before. Then bam! Fire hose out my ass. Is it possible, that I drank all that water so quickly, that it just ran through me like a track meet, and out my ass? I didn't have any food in my stomach, before my workout, so maybe it's possible! - Your friend the Capt'n




    Capt'n my brother. . .I have some harsh news for you.

    The watery shit is a symptom of something terrible that is happening to you. . .something that is almost worse than the dreaded ass cancer itself.

    The watery shit is your body's way of easing you into sitting down when you piss. That's right, Capt'n. . .You're becoming BITCHIFIED!

    I have suspected for a while that you might have early signs of this awful affliction, but have held my tongue through baby stories and descriptions of how your tummy can no longer handle hot, spicy, manly foods as well as it once could. . .but I cannot just stand by any longer and see this happen to the creator of this oasis of hope and happiness in the electronic wilderness!

    CAN I JUST STAND BY AND WATCH AS CAPT'N BECOMES BITCHIFIED?

    No. I cannot. I'm here to help you, my man!

    What you need here is the proper diet to plug that runny hole up so you can once again grunt out the fully formed brown asschildren that are the pride and joy of any real man!

    Follow this diet exactly:

    RETLAWS ANTI-BITCHIFICATION DIET

    In addition to your normal diet, add. . .

    1 daily serving of asparagus - at least 6 stalks
    1 daily serving of fresh garlic - at least half a clove
    (can be used as seasoning. . .you don't have to just eat it, although if your bitchification continues, raw ingestion may be called for)
    1 daily serving of red meat - at least 1 pound
    (any red meat will do, from steak to hamburger. 1 pound does NOT include rib bones, but MEAT)
    12 cups of black coffee
    (once again, the coffee dosage may be increased if bitchification does not seem to subside)

    Ignore my advice at your own peril! Shit like a man once more or sit to piss. . .your choice bro !

  2. #2
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    Pics of said explosive bowel movements or it never happened

    h
    ttp://www.SteelGear.net
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  3. #3
    A D M I N I S T R A T O R
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    to the bat cave
    " A cookie without sugar is just a cracker" ~ ancient voodoo proverb
    "A man with infinite patience is never left waiting."~ROID's past incarnation

  4. #4
    Stacey's Boy
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Fantastico View Post
    Pics of said explosive bowel movements or it never happened
    I'll see if I can trick him into sending me some.

  5. #5
    Stacey's Boy
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Fantastico View Post
    Pics of said explosive bowel movements or it never happened
    He just emailed me these, they are his most recent ... Enjoy!
    Attached Images Attached Images

  6. #6
    Stacey's Boy
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    bump

  7. #7
    Amateur Gynecologist
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    Great idea. Bump a thread that is what - like three threads down? Someone seems to be way too obsessed with The Captn's bowel movements.
    DRSE Reconnaissance


  8. #8

  9. #9
    Stacey's Boy
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    Vortrit

    Suck my sick !

  10. #10
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    Oh Captn'.... Retlaw would really like to talk about your turds.
    DRSE Reconnaissance


  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Retlaw View Post
    Vortrit

    Suck my sick !
    just negg him , He is Anything Goes Biatch,.....

  12. #12
    RDRSE Ghost Assassin
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    If you strike me down(ban me)I'll become more powerful than ever.. Don't say i don't warn you.


  13. #13
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    Captn' - Retlaw wants for information on your turds...
    DRSE Reconnaissance


  14. #14
    Stacey's Boy
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    Quote Originally Posted by vortrit View Post


    Captn' - Retlaw wants for information on your turds...
    Bro, open your mouth, so I can take a shit in it !

  15. #15
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    Vortrit... I know where u live mutherfucker !

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Retlaw View Post
    Vortrit... I know where u live mutherfucker !
    You think you know where I live. Even so I wouldn't recommend stopping by. Missouri has a little law called "right to carry". Trying to bully and intimidate someone over something said on the internet. How chicken shit and how lame...
    DRSE Reconnaissance


  17. #17
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    Now Captn' - please tell us about that fudge factory before Retlaw comes to Missouri after me

    I think he wants to ass-rape me and steal my turds!
    DRSE Reconnaissance


  18. #18
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    I spell 'ass' with an 'r' . . it's 'arse' you turd-burgler!
    TheCaptn' is not a registered proctologist. His post are for his amusement only. Please seek proper medical advice if symptoms persist.


  19. #19
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    Finally some of the information that was wanted! Hey Retlaw!

    DRSE Reconnaissance


  20. #20
    Stacey's Boy
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    Quote Originally Posted by vortrit View Post
    Finally some of the information that was wanted! Hey Retlaw!

    I never was pussy cat, your my gay lover for life !

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Retlaw View Post
    I never was pussy cat, your my gay lover for life !
    DRSE Reconnaissance


  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Retlaw View Post
    Vortrit... I know where u live mutherfucker !
    he wants u to punch his ticket in his ass
    If you strike me down(ban me)I'll become more powerful than ever.. Don't say i don't warn you.


  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Geared God View Post
    he wants u to punch his ticket in his ass
    DRSE Reconnaissance


  24. #24
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    Some gay farming going on up in here
    Don't tread on me!!
    Quit Bitching, Start a Revolution
    Don't fuck with old people, they're unpredictable....
    Quote Originally Posted by heavyiron View Post
    Is reddog a mod yet?

  25. #25
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    If any fag is gonna be doing ass raping in here it's gonna be me!!!



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