Yes, Valentine’s day is a sickening holiday. So! Let’s lighten the mood and take a look at it’s dirty little secret.
There is a widespread belief that valentines day was started by the christian church as an alternative to the ancient Roman Lupercalia festival. A lustful pagan holiday that mommy and daddy would definitely not approve of
On February 14th young girls would write their names on slips of paper and place them in an urn to be mixed. Young males would then come forward and take a slip at random, and this would be their sexual partner for the duration of the festival. The next day the festivities began with the slaughtering of a goat, a dog, oh and don’t forget the ritual flagellation. What a fucking fantastic holiday! But… now… we give cards… Thanks again christianity.
Here is what biblestudy.org had to say about it:
“It is about time we examined these customs of the pagans now falsely labeled Christian. It is time we quit this Roman and Babylonian foolishness – this idolatry – and get back to the faith of Christ delivered once for all time. Let’s stop teaching our children these pagan customs in memory of Baal the sun god – the original St. Valentine”
Hah so in honor of it’s roots I think I’ll celebrate with a glass of wine and some ritual masturbation. What are your plans for Valentines day? Tell me in the comments below. Do it damn it!
Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but Cabbage with a College Education.