IronMagLabs Osta Rx

          Follow Us on Facebook        Subscribe to us on YouTube        Follow Us on Twitter        IronMagLabs on Instagram        Sign Up for our Newsletter


How many of you think you could take a chimpanzee?

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 30 of 83
  1. #1
    big for a notbig


    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    SLUMERICA
    Posts
    2,379
    Rep Points
    295913139

    How many of you think you could take a chimpanzee?






    So I'm all stoned watching this special on vicious chimpanzee attacks, and I can't help but feel that with a 100-200 mg injection of test suspension, some tren built up in my blood, and a few halotestin, I could take one of those dumb fuckin things. They've got some pretty big hands, so if it caught you with one you'd more than likely be down for the count, but come on they're like 5 feet tall and several hundreds of thousands of years behind us in evolution.

    No guns or knives either.
    Cumming day and night.

  2. #2
    We Will Rise
    ELITE MEMBER
    Imosted's Avatar


    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    1,695
    Rep Points
    329822911

    it is almost impassible for a man to take out a chimpanzee, they are 'if i remember correct' 3 times stronger then us, but if you are lucky and somehow take its eyes out then you got a chance...
    Use Coupon Code "IMImosted" to receive 10%-30% Off

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    ELITE MEMBER
    ihateschoolmt's Avatar


    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    5,632
    Rep Points
    138111922

    Chimps are 5 times stronger and no human is a match for them according to this. Most animals can take a human 1 on 1 with no weapons. I think a raccoon could kill most people haha. Q: How Much Stronger Than Humans Are Chimpanzees? - Blogcritics Sci/Tech

  4. #4
    Amateur Gynecologist
    ELITE MEMBER
    vortrit's Avatar


    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Show Me State
    Posts
    11,188
    Rep Points
    940879577

    Quote Originally Posted by Diesel618 View Post
    So I'm all stoned
    Like this wasn't obvious after reading the title of the thread.
    DRSE Reconnaissance


  5. #5
    fiendish thingy
    ELITE MEMBER
    fufu's Avatar


    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    18,094
    Rep Points
    81654611

    No one is taking down a chimp. They can rip your hands and feet off!
    fufu's 1337 Journal

    Your diet will set you free.

    I hate exercise, I love training.

  6. #6
    Registered User


    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    106
    Rep Points
    2343417

    A chimp would tie any human into a pretzel.

    Sent from my PC36100 using Tapatalk

  7. #7
    No Rest for the Wicked
    ELITE MEMBER
    Work IN Progress's Avatar


    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    US
    Posts
    1,685
    Rep Points
    392301403

    Have you ever seen those fuckers fight each other. Those bastards got no quit in em. No way are you gonna KO a primate. They take punches better than MMA champions
    Everybody wanna be a bodybuilder but dont nobody wanna lift this heavy ass weight. R.C.

  8. #8
    Metrosexual
    ELITE MEMBER
    DOMS's Avatar


    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    In a van, down by the river...
    Posts
    32,686
    Rep Points
    1860097295


    Opposable thumbs, bitches!


    .
    .
    Attached Images Attached Images


  9. #9
    big for a notbig


    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    SLUMERICA
    Posts
    2,379
    Rep Points
    295913139

    I wonder what their testosterone levels are compared to humans. I can't find it on google or maybe I just don't know the right key words to use.

    Upon further review, I don't much like my chances against a chimp.

    Now what about a gorilla vs. bruce banner?
    Attached Images Attached Images
    Cumming day and night.

  10. #10
    Senior Member
    ADMINISTRATOR
    Prince's Avatar


    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Panama
    Posts
    61,286
    Rep Points
    2147483647

    In 1924, the Bronx Zoo tested the relative strength of a 165-pound man against a 165-pound chimpanzee. Using a dynamometer, which measures strength by the force of a pull on a spring, the man was able to pull 210 pounds. The chimp, on the other hand, pulled almost 900.

    The lesson: Don’t mess with the apes. Pound for pound, chimpanzees are about five times stronger than humans. In fact, a human is no match for a chimpanzee, regardless of age or sex. In the same Bronx experiment, a 135-pound female chimp pulled a whopping 1,260 pounds. Scientists also estimate that, by the tender age of five, young chimpanzees are already stronger than adult humans.

    Read more: Q: How Much Stronger Than Humans Are Chimpanzees? - Blogcritics Sci/Tech





    IronMagLabs 15% Discount Code: Robert15



    Hardcore Peptides 20% Discount Code: Robert20



  11. #11
    Voodoo Doll
    ELITE MEMBER
    Little Wing's Avatar


    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Bangor, Maine
    Posts
    36,717
    Rep Points
    2111034614

    yes you could take a chimp.













    provided he's only a few days old and his mother or troop is nowhere around.

    you don't get what you wish for ~ you get what you work for

    ...






  12. #12
    Elite Member
    SUPER MODERATOR
    Curt James's Avatar


    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Carlisle, Pennsylvania, USA
    Posts
    14,638
    Rep Points
    2147483647

    Quote Originally Posted by Diesel618 View Post
    So I'm all stoned watching this special on vicious chimpanzee attacks, and I can't help but feel that with a 100-200 mg injection of test suspension, some tren built up in my blood, and a few halotestin, I could take one of those dumb fuckin things. (snip)

    No guns or knives either.
    Bring along a bazooka, braaaaah.

    Quote Originally Posted by fufu View Post
    No one is taking down a chimp. They can rip your hands and feet off!
    This.

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Wing View Post
    yes you could take a chimp.
    Yer diabolical.

    And if you believe fufu is kidding...

    "Charla Nash said she saw the chimpanzee throw large objects around his cage, flash his teeth and pound the bars so violently his hands would bleed and the cage had to be rewelded.
    Nash, who appeared on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" Wednesday, said she told the owner, Sandra Herold, eight or 10 times he was dangerous.

    The Feb. 16 attack occurred when Herold asked her friend Nash to help lure the animal back into her house in Stamford. The chimpanzee ripped off Nash's hands, nose, lips and eyelids."

  13. #13
    big for a notbig


    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    SLUMERICA
    Posts
    2,379
    Rep Points
    295913139

    All you naysayers are makin me want to broadcast this fight and make millions off it.

    Everything is impossible until someone mans up and does it.

    Look for it on PPV. Commercials will be airing soon.
    Cumming day and night.

  14. #14
    Voodoo Doll
    ELITE MEMBER
    Little Wing's Avatar


    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Bangor, Maine
    Posts
    36,717
    Rep Points
    2111034614

    it would be suicide by stupidity. people would buy tickets but who gets the money when it's over? i say the chimp.

    it always bugs me when some human does something abhorrable or idiotic and they kill the poor animal after like it doesn't deserve to go on living because it tidied up the natural order of things a bit.

    you don't get what you wish for ~ you get what you work for

    ...






  15. #15
    Senior Member


    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    2,377
    Rep Points
    1277302281

    Dale is the only human ever born who could beatup a chimp.

    True story.

  16. #16
    Is Doin It 4 Da Shorteez
    LAM's Avatar


    Join Date
    May 2002
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Las Vegas & Florida & St. Croix
    Posts
    16,313
    Rep Points
    925619228

    primates are mostly upper body strength, with weak lower legs the mechanics for punching power just isn't there. but they can surely rip your face off or arm out of socket with ease.

    now kickboxing would be a different story, I'd fight the chimp from the movie Grandma's Boy
    William F. Buckley describes a conservative as, "someone who stands athwart history, yelling Stop." - and then proceeds to drag civilization back to times best left in history's dungheap.

  17. #17
    Be Genetically Different
    BOARD REP
    blazeftp's Avatar


    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    The Zone.
    Posts
    1,810
    Rep Points
    192163594

    Nah.
    There would be no contest.
    Even someone like Mariusz Pudzianowski would last 2 min.

    Now a bear.....that would be a fight.

  18. #18
    DRSE - The Connoisseur
    BOARD REP
    SilentBob187's Avatar


    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    1,248
    Rep Points
    286759056



    I'll smoke it with you bro. We'll go to the looney bin together, I don't give a f*ck.
    -I know your words, just not together.

  19. #19
    primeau
    lnvanry's Avatar


    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Tucson
    Posts
    4,276
    Rep Points
    52198884

    no tools or weapons?....pretty much takes away a humans number one advantage, the brain. There is a reason why our brain consumes more calories to function than any other portion of our body.

  20. #20
    Senior Member
    BOARD REP
    stylus187's Avatar


    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    florida
    Posts
    503
    Rep Points
    67089952

    Fuck no!! a chimp would bight the fuck out of you. For get about the bight, he could literall crush and tare your limbs. I have the oddest mental picture of actually fighting a chimp. It would be a very strange and awkward feeling, to punch a chimp in the face!! Im sorry, but if you think you could take a chimp... well, good luck with that!!!!!
    "Without sacrifice, comes no reward"!

  21. #21
    Elite Member
    SUPER MODERATOR
    Curt James's Avatar


    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Carlisle, Pennsylvania, USA
    Posts
    14,638
    Rep Points
    2147483647

    Quote Originally Posted by Diesel618 View Post
    All you naysayers are makin me want to broadcast this fight and make millions off it.

    Everything is impossible until someone mans up and does it.

    Look for it on PPV. Commercials will be airing soon.
    This would be the greatest fight since the Dhaliwal brothers took on the Siberian tiger at the San Francisco Zoo.

    "In the ambulance to the hospital just after a tiger mauled 17-year-old Carlos Sousa Jr. to death, paramedics heard Sousa's two friends make a pact of silence about "what we did," the San Francisco Chronicle reports. The two brothers, accused by one witness of taunting the tiger before the attack, have since refused to let police search their car, cell phone records, and photos.

    The two survivors had been drinking and using marijuana at the time of the attack, the Chronicle reports. Meanwhile, the San Francisco zoo has beefed up its enclosures and is expected to open today. Zoo officials said yesterday that the wall around its polar bear enclosure, like that of the tiger enclosure, also is too low and is being raised."


    More @ SF Tiger Attack Survivors Made Silence Pact - Brothers vowed in ambulance not to talk to police, report says

    And the one Dhaliwal brother said to the other, "Here, hold my beer!"

  22. #22
    Senior Member
    BOARD REP
    stylus187's Avatar


    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    florida
    Posts
    503
    Rep Points
    67089952

    Quote Originally Posted by Prince View Post
    In 1924, the Bronx Zoo tested the relative strength of a 165-pound man against a 165-pound chimpanzee. Using a dynamometer, which measures strength by the force of a pull on a spring, the man was able to pull 210 pounds. The chimp, on the other hand, pulled almost 900.

    The lesson: Don’t mess with the apes. Pound for pound, chimpanzees are about five times stronger than humans. In fact, a human is no match for a chimpanzee, regardless of age or sex. In the same Bronx experiment, a 135-pound female chimp pulled a whopping 1,260 pounds. Scientists also estimate that, by the tender age of five, young chimpanzees are already stronger than adult humans.

    Read more: Q: How Much Stronger Than Humans Are Chimpanzees? - Blogcritics Sci/Tech
    No shit!!! You have to be fucking crazier then a shithouse rat, if you think you could take a chimp!!
    "Without sacrifice, comes no reward"!

  23. #23
    We Will Rise
    ELITE MEMBER
    Imosted's Avatar


    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    1,695
    Rep Points
    329822911

    The only person who take out a chimpanzee is Chuck Norris.
    Anyone can piss on the floor, but chuck Norris can shit on the ceiling!!!!
    He is the MAN
    Use Coupon Code "IMImosted" to receive 10%-30% Off

  24. #24
    happy sumo
    ELITE MEMBER
    PreMier's Avatar


    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    22,873
    Rep Points
    171643191

    Quote Originally Posted by Curt James View Post
    Bring along a bazooka, braaaaah.



    This.



    Yer diabolical.

    And if you believe fufu is kidding...

    "Charla Nash said she saw the chimpanzee throw large objects around his cage, flash his teeth and pound the bars so violently his hands would bleed and the cage had to be rewelded.
    Nash, who appeared on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" Wednesday, said she told the owner, Sandra Herold, eight or 10 times he was dangerous.

    The Feb. 16 attack occurred when Herold asked her friend Nash to help lure the animal back into her house in Stamford. The chimpanzee ripped off Nash's hands, nose, lips and eyelids."
    damn.. thats gnarly http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Chimp...ows-Her-Face/1
    P-side Inc.

    "the post-workout high is more profound than any drug-induced rush imaginable." -Dante B.

  25. #25
    happy sumo
    ELITE MEMBER
    PreMier's Avatar


    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    22,873
    Rep Points
    171643191

    Quote Originally Posted by blazeftp View Post
    Nah.
    There would be no contest.
    Even someone like Mariusz Pudzianowski would last 2 min.

    Now a bear.....that would be a fight.
    i dont know about that.. your talking about one of the strongest humans ever. on average, a man would get a beat down.. but a strongman? it might be a different story
    P-side Inc.

    "the post-workout high is more profound than any drug-induced rush imaginable." -Dante B.

  26. #26
    big for a notbig


    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    SLUMERICA
    Posts
    2,379
    Rep Points
    295913139

    Ok brass knuckles are allowed. But nothing else.
    Cumming day and night.

  27. #27
    Registered User
    ELITE MEMBER
    carmineb's Avatar


    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    massachusetts, usa
    Posts
    1,338
    Rep Points
    47643122

    i heard they distract u by swinging at your face and when your arms are up, they go for your balls and rip them out of their pouch.... it is their basic move. to castrate u .... that is why I would stand a small chance, the moment they go for mine, I'd be like sorry sucker, wife got to them first! .

  28. #28
    EAST COAST BRAT
    ELITE MEMBER
    david's Avatar


    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    SOUTH FLORIDA
    Posts
    26,315
    Rep Points
    76782557

    Chimps are definitely viscious and tough and would probably rip me to shreds.

  29. #29
    Senior Member


    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    2,377
    Rep Points
    1277302281

    Quote Originally Posted by LAM View Post
    primates are mostly upper body strength, with weak lower legs the mechanics for punching power just isn't there.
    HAHAHAHAH


    Dunce post of the month.

    Next thing you will tell us is Astronauts don't eat real food.

  30. #30
    Elite Member
    SUPER MODERATOR
    Curt James's Avatar


    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Carlisle, Pennsylvania, USA
    Posts
    14,638
    Rep Points
    2147483647






    Quote Originally Posted by Diesel618 View Post
    Ok brass knuckles are allowed. But nothing else.
    It would eat the knucks and your fist.



    PreMier, right? I Googled for the story and then saw her... face. Not good.

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 47
    Last Post: 08-10-2012, 08:48 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DISABLED END -->