Maybe a dumb question but I think I have a little guy complex. I used to weigh 140 lbs at 5'10" when I got married at 19 years old. I have steadily added weight until I reached about 230 lbs at about 35 and pretty much maintained that for a few years until recently I got up to 245 on a PH cycle which I maintained all of and now after a week of dbol test-e cycle I am up over 255 lbs.
I feel great but I still don't feel like a beast, also thinking once I cut down eventually, I will probably only weigh 230 (but leaner of course) so now I'm thinking I need to get up to like 270-275 to cut down to 240 at a decent bf% and still feel big. These numbers sound big to me but I still feel normal. What gives?
My arms should be respectable at 18" and I hope to get them over 19" on this cycle. The arms (biceps actually, triceps are pretty massive comparatively) are probably the one part I feel lag the most.
Here's what I am getting at. My strength is pretty much where I always dreamed of getting it to when I was younger and on paper I sound like I am a respectable size...but I still feel normal most of the time. Don't get me wrong, I feel great (density, mind-muscle connection, etc.) but I don't feel like I stand out most of the time (though occasionally I realize that I do).
Anyone else in here who has gotten to a decent size and still feels deficient? Similar experiences? I am wondering if this is maybe common among men who were smaller when they were growing up. Anyone who has ever felt this way ever reached a point where they can say, "yes, I am big as I care to get."