Jewish jokes
Racial Characteristics:
Living proof that money can't buy love, these greedy, usurious, scheming Christ-killers, who won't eat pork because it reminds
them of their parents, go around moving into other people's countries and buying up all the pawnshops and delicatessens. They
were personally responsible for the fall of the Roman Empire, the 1929 stock market crash, and the loss of World War II by a
prominent European country. Now they're ruining show business. Their fiendish heathen religious rituals include mutilating the
penises of their own sons and drinking the blood of Christian babies during Lent. The world's nations have historically competed
with each other to see who could get rid of them fastest. They control the legal, medical, psychiatric, and accountancy professions, and are the force behind international communism, freemasonry, sex education, the media, and the catholic church.
Good Points:
I can't think of one.
Proper Forms of Address:
Yid, kike, sheeny, Hebe, nickel-nose, knife-nose, gabardine stroking mockey, clip-tip.
Who???s the best Jewish cook? Hitler.
What do you get when you squeeze a Synagogue?
Jewce(juice)
What was so bad about being a black Jew?
You had to sit in the back of the oven.
How does hitler???s moped sound?
Runnnn nigger nigger nigger, runnnn nigger nigger nigger
What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?
A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.
What's a Jewish woman's favorite position for sex?
Facing Macy's.
Why do Jewish husbands die young?
Because they want to.
Q. What do you get when you cross a Jewish princess and a prostitute?
A. A fucking know-it-all.
Q: What???s the resemblance between snails and Sephardic Jews?
A: They don???t need women to make babies!
Why are jews so good at math?
They got all the answers burned on their arms.
First Man: I'm going to be just like Hitler and kill all the jews. But I'm going to kill all the clowns, too.
Second Man: Why the clowns? First Man: See, no one cares about the Jews!
Why did Hitler kill himself?
Because he saw his gas bill.
Hitler stands in front of a cannon with some jews. He tells the first one: Spread your arms and jump into the cannon! The jew
jumps and dies. Then he tells the second one: Touch your toes with your hands and jump into the canon! The jew jumps and
dies, too. He tells the third one: Put your arms in the air and jump into the canon! Suddenly, Hitlers mother appears, yelling at
him: Adolf, stop playing tetris with those jews!!!
At his birthday, Hitler tells three jews: Ive got a dice here. Two sides are blue, two are green and the other two sides are red.
Everyone of you has to roll the dice. If it shows blue, one of you will be hung. If it shows green, one of you will be shot. If it shows
red, I´ve got a surprise for you! The first one rolls the dice, it shows blue and he is hung. The second one rolls the the dice, it
shows green, and he is shot. The third one rolls the dice. It shows red, therefore Hitler says: Congratulations, you can roll the
dice again!!!
Two nazis meet in prison. The first one asks the second one. What is misfortune? A bus full of jews falliing of a cliff right into
the sea. What is a disaster? If they can swim.
What's Hitlers least favorite planet?
'Jewpiter'
Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza?
The pizza doesnt scream when you put it in an oven!
Whats the difference between a Jew and a Canoe?
A canoe tips
How do you get 100 jews into a car?
Throw a quarter in it.
How do you get them out again?
Tell them Hilter is driving.
How many jews can you fit in a VW Beetle?
54, two in the front, two in the back, and fifty in the ashtray.
How do you know you have a queer Jew?
He likes money more than girls.
Have you heard about the Jewish sports car?
It stops on a dime, then picks it up .
What is a Jews biggest dilemma?
Free pork
Why do Jews have such big noses?
Cuz all the airs free.
Whats the object of Jewish football?
To get the quarter back.
How was copper wire invented?
2 Jews fighting over the same penny
What language does Jewish homo speak?
Heblew
What did the little German boy get for his birthday?
Easy bake oven and a G.I Jew
Hows Christmas celebrated in Jewish homes?
They put parking meters on the roof.
Why did the Jews walk around the desert for 40 years?
They heard that someone dropped a quarter
What do you call a room full of jewish women with yeast infections?
A whine and cheese party.
Whats Jewish doggy style?
You beg for half an hour and the princess rolls over and plays dead.
What happens when a Jew with an errection walks into a wall?
He breaks his nose.
What's faster than a speeding bullet?
A jew with a coupon.