DA NITE AFO CRIZZMUS
Wuz da nite afo' Crizzmus, and all thru da hood,
ev'body be sleepin' and da sleepin' be good.
We hunged up arr stockins, an hoped like all heck,
dat Obama gunna brang us our checks.
All of da family, was layin' on da flo',
my sister wif her gurlfren, my brother wif some ho.
Ashtrays wuz all full, empty beer cans and all
when I heared such a fuss, I thunk...."Sh'eit, must be da law".
I pulled the sheet off da window an what I'ze could see,
I was speckin' da sherrif, wif a warrunt fo' me.
But what did I see, made me say, "Lawd look 'a dat!"
Dere was a huge watermelon, pulled by eight big-ass rats.
Now ovah da years, Santy Claws he be white,
but it looks like us brudda's, got a black un' tonight.
Faster than a poe'lice car, my home boy he came,
and whupped up on dem rats, as he called dem by name.
On Biden, On Jessie, On Pelosi and Hillary Who,
On Fannie, On Freddie, On Ayers, and Slick Willy too.
Obama landed dat melon, right dere in da street,
I knowed it fo' sho', - can you believe that Sheet?
Dat Santy din't need no chimley, he picked da lock on my do',
an I sez to myself, "SumÂ bitch..he don did dis befo!"
He had a big bag, full of presents - at firs I suspeck?
Wif "Air Jordans" and fake gold, to wear roun' my neck.
But he left me no presents, just started stealin my shit.
He got my guns and my crack, and my new burglers kit.
Den, wif my shit in his bag, out da windo' he flew,
I sho' woulda shanked him, but he snagged my blade too!
He jumped back on dat melon, wif out even a hitch,
and wuz gone in two seconds, dat dem'crat sumbitch.
So nex year I be hopin', a white Santy we git,
'cause a black Santy Claws, just ain't worf a shit!