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Why Teachers DRINK

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  1. #1
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    Why Teachers DRINK






    The following questions were set in last year's GED examination
    These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL breed.


    Q. Name the four seasons A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

    Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

    Q. How is dew formed A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

    Q. What causes the tides in the oceans A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

    Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
    A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

    Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
    A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

    Q. What are steroids A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)

    Q. What happens to your body as you age A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

    Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)

    Q. What is artificial insemination A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow
    Q. How can you delay milk turning sour A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

    Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen) A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U..

    Q. What is the fibula? A. A small lie

    Q. What does 'varicose' mean? A. Nearby

    Q. What is the most common form of birth control A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)

    Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section' A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome


    Q. What is a seizure? A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

    Q. What is a terminal illness A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)


    Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature? A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

    Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)

    Q. What does the word 'benign' mean? A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)

    Q. What is a turbine? A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

  2. #2
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  3. #3
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    OMG lol.. im so glad I decided not to become a teacher...

  4. #4
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    I think the kid who said varicose was nearby is a fan of Chico Marx...

    Cauterize, and she bashfully looked away....
    Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
    not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
    and drag down the features of age,
    no folds or creases from unkempt wear
    eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
    no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
    but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012

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    [QUOTE=Gena Marie;2679263]

    Q. What causes the tides in the oceans A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

    This one's hilarious. At least the kid is some what creative, it sounds exactly like ancient mysticism.

  6. #6
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    It's stuff like this that scares me. Sadly I know quiet a few people that are this "smart".

  7. #7
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    I pity our country!
    Jagbender's battle of the bulge
    The problems we face today are because the people who work for a living are outnumbered by the people who vote for a living

  8. #8
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    Thanks G, that was some funny stuff

    Don't tread on me!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by heavyiron View Post
    Is reddog a mod yet?

  9. #9
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    Generation X is going to have to do something or our country is in for a major downfall. Gen Y and Z have grown up in an education system based on the lowest common denominator. They are growing up woth too many distractions, where as we grew up in an age where the distractions gradually came. We can navigate the distractions and still get things done, we set aside video game time and internet surfing to get work done and also devote some time to intellectual stimulation. Being as later Gen Y's and most of Z is a product of X it's on us to start making corrections.
    Last edited by maniclion; 02-08-2012 at 03:10 PM.
    Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
    not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
    and drag down the features of age,
    no folds or creases from unkempt wear
    eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
    no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
    but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012

  10. #10
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    This is great, it shows some kids can still read and write in English.

  11. #11
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    Why are teachers drinking, then? Because they expect kids to know something they never taught, or they didn't reinforce by revisiting the teachings. These answers to some of the basic questions may be funny to some, but I think its very sad.

    For most people, ideal knowledge retention is reliant on continual exposure. I think this idea has been lost to many people, and it's getting worse generation after generation. The blame isn't all on the teachers.. the cirriculum probably needs a look over, and parents need to be much more involved with reinforcing their children's learning. After school, weekends, holidays, summertime... these aren't times to just turn off your brain, they are times revisit what has been taught.

    The downward spiral we are on is very concerning, and sadly, its making people like me who see the problem, not even want to bring kids into a world destroying itself.
    Just a girl.... Looking for muscles!!

  12. #12
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    LOL! That was some funny sh*t! :-)
    Powered by BIG D Pharma

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    Bigger problems in the world than this, but its still funny.

  14. #14
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    Yup, we're doomed.
    blackstonelabs.co/ 10% Off Coupon Code = ebfitness10


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  15. #15
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    hahah... other people are so stupid and we are so clever... hahahah

  16. #16
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    so they cut funding for school but not taxes, they haven't gone down for them at all we pay more now for less funding it makes 0 scene and the kids are getting dumber great society we have and the up coming generation is fucked my little girl gets strait A's when she got a Facebook and phone they went down guess what they got taken away till they go back to strait A's again where the parent's that give a fuck too this whole country is fucked in all aspects as i can see


    funny tho but sad at the same time i did laugh my ass off

  17. #17
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    Its kinda tragic, but I LOLd and I needed that today


    All posts are for entertainment. Consult a doctor before using any medication.

  18. #18
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    Totally real.

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    It's sad but true.. That is funny though

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