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  1. #1
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    debate on relationships






    here's a scenario:

    Your wife/husband or girlfriend/boyfriend gets called up by an old lover, who "coincedently" moves into town with you two. The ex wants to meet up with your partner for lunch and he/she accepts. The ex is aware of your partner's status with you and in conversation, it arises that the ex is currently single. What is your stand on this, do you let your partner go or not?

  2. #2
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    Let her go. You'll see if she is faithfull or not. Plus you show her that you trust her.

  3. #3
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    he he ... of course! My take on that situation is that I have no control over what may or may not happen. If they go out and they hit it off again, me saying NO wouldn't only delay it. But then again, I'm not the jealous type.
    Now rollin' with the Raider

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    I wouldn't want her to go, but I wouldn't say no. If she went out to meet him, it would let me know where I stand in the relationship though. If she was that inconsiderate of me, then I'd have to tell her to go fuck herself.

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    MMA ... you mean if you told her that you didn't want her to go and she went anyways then you'd know where you stood?
    Now rollin' with the Raider

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    Originally posted by naturaltan
    MMA ... you mean if you told her that you didn't want her to go and she went anyways then you'd know where you stood?
    Yes. If I said "Honey, I don't like this, I feel really uncomfortable." And she just blew me off and went anyway. Then I'd be pissed.

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    gotcha ... that makes sense.
    Now rollin' with the Raider

  8. #8
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    I would let her. A relationship is based on trust and it would be arrogant to believe that she would NEVER be in such a situation one on one with someone. At least this way you know where she is and she has your consent. If they're willing to cheat then it's going to happen regardless. Kind of a test.

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    Originally posted by Crono1000
    I would let her. A relationship is based on trust and it would be arrogant to believe that she would NEVER be in such a situation one on one with someone. At least this way you know where she is and she has your consent. If they're willing to cheat then it's going to happen regardless. Kind of a test.
    I agree your relationship should be based on trust, but I'm not willing to promote a situation where trust can be broken! I mean, sure, she can cheat with any guy, but I'm not going to set up the circumstances for that to happen.

    Women are fickle, they don't know what they want. If they make a connection with someone, they worry that maybe they're missing out on thier one true love. So, they immediately start to compare you to this new possibility. Plus it's human nature to think the grass is greener on the other side. It never is, but the damage can't be undone.

  10. #10
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    that little whore i'll get her for that i mean i've never be in that position........stupid whore


    **MMA I like the full contact fighter thing in your sig
    230_225_220_215_210_205_200_195_190_185_180
    |----|----|----|----|----|----|----|----|---|----|
    <- that way about 20 more pounds!

  11. #11
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    true true. Plus, any guy calling up an ex... or any girl for that matter... is just looking for a nooner

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    Originally posted by Crono1000
    true true. Plus, any guy calling up an ex... or any girl for that matter... is just looking for a nooner
    Exactly. I think it was Chris Rock who said "Ladies, anytime a guy is being nice to you, he's offering you dick. Can I open the door for you? You want some dick? Can I buy you a drink? You want some dick?"

  13. #13
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    Originally posted by mmafiter
    I agree your relationship should be based on trust, but I'm not willing to promote a situation where trust can be broken! I mean, sure, she can cheat with any guy, but I'm not going to set up the circumstances for that to happen.

    Women are fickle, they don't know what they want. If they make a connection with someone, they worry that maybe they're missing out on thier one true love. So, they immediately start to compare you to this new possibility. Plus it's human nature to think the grass is greener on the other side. It never is, but the damage can't be undone.
    I agree with this to some extent. I believe that if your in a commited relationship you should not expose yourself to situations that have potential for temptation. My analogy says "If youre on a diet, why bake brownies?" However, I would like to clarify something: men can be just as fickle as women. It definately is part of human nature.

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    Also... as far as the issue of knowing where you stand in the relationship is concerned.... I would appreciate being able to "stand" suffiently high on my partner's priority list, that he would not want to meet up with this other individual out of the respect for the relationship we're in. It's not so much about trust. It's more about showing respect for the present commitment and attributing such value to it, that you would not want to disrespect it in any way.

  15. #15
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    Definately let her go...relationships are about TRUST...if you can't trust him/her you shouldn't be together. If they meet up and something happens...on the positive side better to happen now than later.
    Searching for the right balance...

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    Soooo... anyway Crono. In order to answer your original question: NO! you cannot meet IT for dinner at 8 tonight!

  17. #17
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    Originally posted by Titanya
    Soooo... anyway Crono. In order to answer your original question: NO! you cannot meet IT for dinner at 8 tonight!




    Good one
    "It is hard to believe a man is telling the truth, when you know you would lie if you were in his shoes."

  18. #18
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    I'll just say It's all about trust if you don't have it it will neber work. I trusted my soon to be ex and that is why she is an ex soon because she acted upon and old love and what happens , happens. Although she realizes her mistake and is trying everything to make up for it.

    So on another question if it was done to you should you give that person another chance in life?

    What if a child is involved?

  19. #19
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    This situation DID arise for me after meeting my wife. We had been together for about a year when an ex-girlfriend wanted to get together to "talk." I turned her down for a number of reasons:

    1) I was over her and did want any emotional baggage to resurface.
    2) I had too much respect for my now-wife to put her through that stress.
    3) I was committed to my now-wife and "talking" with the ex would have upset her.
    4) The ex had dumped me and I was bitter.

    That said, god damn was it satisfying to turn her away like that after being dumped two years earlier.

  20. #20
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    I would not want my wife to go and I would expect her to understand and respect that. I see it as a respect issue, if my wife respects me she would not go on a date with an ex-boyfriend, just as I would not go on a date with an ex-girlfriend.

    If she insisted on going I would secretly follow her and spy.





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  21. #21
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    Originally posted by I Are Baboon

    That said, god damn was it satisfying to turn her away like that after being dumped two years earlier.




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  22. #22
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    I would let him go. Its happened before and it didn't even phase me. Go catch up on old times and then come home to me.



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  23. #23
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    Originally posted by Titanya
    Also... as far as the issue of knowing where you stand in the relationship is concerned.... I would appreciate being able to "stand" suffiently high on my partner's priority list, that he would not want to meet up with this other individual out of the respect for the relationship we're in. It's not so much about trust. It's more about showing respect for the present commitment and attributing such value to it, that you would not want to disrespect it in any way.
    sorry my love I have to disagree with you there. I think it is all about trust. If you're so concerned with being in tempting environments, then there's already a lack of trust. Tempting environments are inevitable, you can't prevent that. No circumsance in a trusting relationship should even have "tempting" situations. If you're "tempted" to act upon it, then there's a reason to not trust this person in the first place.

    If it became a routine thing then I'd have a problem, but one lunch date isn't going to scar any relationship. and in a relationship of trust, there's no such thing as a tempting situation

  24. #24
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    Originally posted by urso8up

    So on another question if it was done to you should you give that person another chance in life?

    What if a child is involved?
    It's all situational and depends on your feelings about the relationship. I gave a second chance because I love her intensely and we have kids. I want the relationship to work, but the trust level has been seriously diminished. I'm learning to trust her again, but it's always in the back of my mind.

    I can guarantee if it happened again, we would be finished, no questions asked. I wouldn't allow mysef to be miserable just because my spouse has issues. It would suck for the kids, but there comes a point where enough is enough.

  25. #25
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    Originally posted by Titanya
    Soooo... anyway Crono. In order to answer your original question: NO! you cannot meet IT for dinner at 8 tonight!
    BWAHAHAHAHAHA

  26. #26
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    Originally posted by Titanya
    However, I would like to clarify something: men can be just as fickle as women. It definately is part of human nature.
    I don't agree with you, and here's why.

    Men are pigs, generally. All we want is sex when we stray from a relationship. Usually, it's not much more than a basic desire to have sex with someone different.

    Women seem to have this whole head game going on where they're always worried they are missing out on something. When some guy at work starts talking nicely to them (wanting to fuck them), they wonder if this is thier true soul mate. You often here women say "I connected with him, and it was like we were meant to be togther."

    Now obviously I'm making generalizations, but I've really looked into the subject of cheating, and it amazes me how we as humans continually make the same mistakes. I'm not saying men are any better than women either. I've seen guys who I thought had it all, and they fucked it all up for some piece of ass they met.

  27. #27
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    DUDE you're killing my game!!!

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    Sorry dude, I didn't mean to be a cockblocker.

  29. #29
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    Originally posted by Crono1000
    sorry my love I have to disagree with you there. I think it is all about trust. If you're so concerned with being in tempting environments, then there's already a lack of trust. Tempting environments are inevitable, you can't prevent that. No circumsance in a trusting relationship should even have "tempting" situations. If you're "tempted" to act upon it, then there's a reason to not trust this person in the first place.

    If it became a routine thing then I'd have a problem, but one lunch date isn't going to scar any relationship. and in a relationship of trust, there's no such thing as a tempting situation
    I agree whole heartedly ... if there is temptation, then possibly the relationship isn't as solid as it could be.

    How many of you who have responded would be comfortable with their spouses going on a lunch date with a member of the opposite sex? No ex ... maybe a friend from work or gym or wherever ...
    Now rollin' with the Raider

  30. #30
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    Originally posted by naturaltan
    I agree whole heartedly ... if there is temptation, then possibly the relationship isn't as solid as it could be.

    How many of you who have responded would be comfortable with their spouses going on a lunch date with a member of the opposite sex? No ex ... maybe a friend from work or gym or wherever ...
    That's fine.

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