Trust me, I'm an expert. I watch HOUSE: The free medical advice thread

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  1. #1
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    Trust me, I'm an expert. I watch HOUSE: The free medical advice thread

    "You should never wash your hands because then you will have more germs than everything else and other germs will just think "what's the point."




    Keeping a piece of week old raw chicken in your shirt pocket will prevent people from complaining about your halitosis.





    Smearing your face with period blood is the biblically prescribed method for maintaining abstinence. Also known to help kick start a great raiding party (for the vikings amongst us.)







    Wearing chip crumb covered sweat pants is the only known cure for bed sores.
    "When in doubt, whip it out"- Mother Teresa

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    stumbling blindly through the dark and meekly saying "hello" followed by a false bravado filled "WHO'S THERE!!" is the only scientifically backed means of ridding a house of ghosts. Some have also coupled this action with quickly flicking on the lights.
    "When in doubt, whip it out"- Mother Teresa

  3. #3
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    so my donkey gave me the clap, I was told to let a tranny piss in my butthole this will cure it, but Im not sure I trust my doctor?
    Aussies and Philadelphians are the only people here

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    How old does one have to be before an anal prolapse occurs?

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    Quote Originally Posted by withoutrulers View Post
    "You should never wash your hands because then you will have more germs than everything else and other germs will just think "what's the point."



    Keeping a piece of week old raw chicken in your shirt pocket will prevent people from complaining about your halitosis.





    Smearing your face with period blood is the biblically prescribed method for maintaining abstinence. Also known to help kick start a great raiding party (for the vikings amongst us.)







    Wearing chip crumb covered sweat pants is the only known cure for bed sores.

    I must say, these sound a whole lot better than when my jew Dr. tells me to open up wide ad say ahhh!

  6. #6
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    It burns when I pee. Please advise.
    Quote Originally Posted by heavyiron View Post
    Estrogen is from Satan. Testosterone is a gift from baby Jesus.
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    I got worms...

  8. #8
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    Should I drink copious amounts of alcohol then raid the wife's panties before passing out?

    IronMag Labs 15% Off Coupon Code = heavyiron15


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    All posts are for entertainment and may contain fiction. Consult a medical doctor before using any medications or supplements. Heavyiron does not advocate readers engage in any illegal activity.

  9. #9
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    My whole body hurts. Everything i touch with my pointy finger is in pain.

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    Quote Originally Posted by heckler7 View Post
    so my donkey gave me the clap, I was told to let a tranny piss in my butthole this will cure it, but Im not sure I trust my doctor?
    Your doctor is only partially correct. He seems to have left out the most important part of the clap curing process. You're also supposed to rape a virgin african child to free yourself completely of the clap demon. Hope this helps.
    "When in doubt, whip it out"- Mother Teresa

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by hoyle21 View Post
    How old does one have to be before an anal prolapse occurs?
    There have been ultra sound pictures taken of fetuses masturbating in the womb with a buttplug. So theoretically, right after your moile grabs the foreskin with his teeth and inserts a finger.
    "When in doubt, whip it out"- Mother Teresa

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by rage racing View Post
    It burns when I pee. Please advise.
    Homeopathic medicine calls for like to cure like, so clearly your medication will involve acetone and a strong intestinal fortitude.
    "When in doubt, whip it out"- Mother Teresa

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by coolhandjames View Post
    I got worms...
    Yeah sorry bout that. Just try to scoot your ass across the carpet when it itches too bad.
    "When in doubt, whip it out"- Mother Teresa

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    Quote Originally Posted by heavyiron View Post
    Should I drink copious amounts of alcohol then raid the wife's panties before passing out?
    This is absolutely mandatory. The doc also prescribes posting pics of the boozed up escapades.
    "When in doubt, whip it out"- Mother Teresa

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by LightBearer View Post
    My whole body hurts. Everything i touch with my pointy finger is in pain.
    Freddy Krueger gloves are so 1987
    "When in doubt, whip it out"- Mother Teresa

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