IronMagLabs Osta Rx

          Follow Us on Facebook        Subscribe to us on YouTube        Follow Us on Twitter        IronMagLabs on Instagram        Sign Up for our Newsletter


Letter to God...........

Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    IDIOT SAVANT
    ALBOB's Avatar


    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Location
    An alternate reality.
    Posts
    11,627
    Rep Points
    163513133

    Letter to God...........






    From the dog.

    Dear God, Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

    Dear God, When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?

    Dear God, Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

    Dear God, If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

    Dear God, We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

    Dear God, More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

    Dear God, When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?

    Dear God, Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

    Dear God, Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog:
    - I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
    - I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
    - I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty, they are not food.
    - The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
    - The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
    - The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
    - My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
    - I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
    - I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
    - Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying 'hello.'
    - I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
    - I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
    - I will not throw up in the car.
    - I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
    - I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over.
    - The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

    Dear God, May I have my testicles back?
    Rules? You mean we have RULES for that???

  2. #2
    Un~Bulking
    ELITE MEMBER
    DaMayor's Avatar


    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Right Here. No, HERE.
    Posts
    7,855
    Rep Points
    76758723

    I thought you had cats?

  3. #3
    Tat2d Freak
    ELITE MEMBER
    buff_tat2d_chic's Avatar


    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    South Texas
    Posts
    2,200
    Rep Points
    1135186

    That about sums it up! LOL Very cute. If you don't have dogs now...did once, huh?
    Buff_tat2d_chic
    ~health and fitness are a lifestyle~

  4. #4
    EAST COAST BRAT
    ELITE MEMBER
    david's Avatar


    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    SOUTH FLORIDA
    Posts
    26,315
    Rep Points
    76782557

    Only from Albob!!!

  5. #5
    IDIOT SAVANT
    ALBOB's Avatar


    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Location
    An alternate reality.
    Posts
    11,627
    Rep Points
    163513133

    Originally posted by DaMayor
    I thought you had cats?
    Actually I have fleas, but I'm owned by one cat and one dog. You could say my son's a pussy and my daughter's a real bitch.
    Rules? You mean we have RULES for that???

  6. #6
    EAST COAST BRAT
    ELITE MEMBER
    david's Avatar


    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    SOUTH FLORIDA
    Posts
    26,315
    Rep Points
    76782557






    I believe it!

Similar Threads

  1. seizure letter
    By RichardBraden in forum NapsGear
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 05-05-2011, 05:31 PM
  2. scarlett letter help
    By danny81 in forum Open Chat
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 06-10-2007, 01:23 AM
  3. Follow to the Letter of the LAW
    By WantItBad in forum Online Journals
    Replies: 87
    Last Post: 05-01-2007, 07:54 PM
  4. Letter from UPS.
    By Rusty in forum Open Chat
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 01-24-2003, 06:31 PM
  5. A letter to your spouse.
    By Rusty in forum Open Chat
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 01-24-2003, 12:00 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DISABLED END -->